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AIBU?

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Original poster

Newly vegan and fed up of ridicule from others

232 replies

townandcountrygirl · 04/01/2019 15:18

I have been vegan for 7 months now and have really grown tired of OH's family / friends making irritating / derogatory comments about veganism and my healthy lifestyle. I have seen only positive changes since going vegan - I am in good shape, I am waking up earlier, my eye sight has improved and my energy levels have shot up considerably. I had been vegetarian for 12+ years and this is something I have always wanted to do.

My own friends and family are supportive. I have grown up in a household where I was encouraged to make my own decisions and stand up for what I believe in. My mother is a gluten-free nutritionist who grows her own veg and is very active / health conscious. My sister is also a vegetarian. I have meat-eating family members, but they treat my decisions with love and respect, even if they think I am a little 'different' because of it.

OH and I have been together for 6 years and have been friends for over 10 years (we grew up around the same home town). We are living together and have been spending a fair amount of time with his friends and family. I have received many negative comments about my diet, which I am not banging on about every 2 mins, I am merely ordering vegan options from restaurant menus or have been caught in the act juicing veggies.

OH's family are generally unhealthy, choosing convenient foods, alcohol, sugary treats and high-fat meals over anything remotely healthy. I often feel like the 'weird' one for having vegetables on my plate at all. My thought is that they are irritated by my healthy lifestyle because they are unable to stop their own poor lifestyle choices.

Has anyone else come up against criticism from people in this way? I bite my tongue and smile, knowing my diet does not affect them at all, but I am tired and disheartened by their constant snipes. I am a nice, loving person so keep telling myself that we are all entitled to our own decisions. It is just sad, because i'd never put another person down for their food choices, even if I didn't personally agree with it.

[edited by MNHQ at OP's request]

OP posts:
Shazafied · 04/01/2019 15:20

Been vegan 15 years and honestly you just have to learn to ignore it. Some people get very defensive and find another’s choice to be vegan tp be a criticism of their own choices. Just ignore ignore ignore. And don’t bang on about being vegan (doesn’t sound like you do). Good luck x

OrdinaryGirl · 04/01/2019 15:21

[pulls up chair, reaches for popcorn]

CallMeOnMyCell · 04/01/2019 15:23

Yep people can be really rude about veganism! I’m not a vegan but several members of family are and some of the comments they get are so rude and dismissive.

Notacluethisxmas · 04/01/2019 15:23

Hmmm I am vegetarian. Have been vegan in the past, but it's not for me.

I get what you mean. But I can't help wonder how you come across to them. It's unlikely your eye sight has improved form being vegan for 4 months. I also imagine they can pick up on you being judgy about their lifestyle. I can guarantee they aren't jealous of your 'healthy' life style either.

I can help wonder if you come across as someone who think being vegan makes you better than those who aren't. Even if you don't mean to.

ethelfleda · 04/01/2019 15:23

People are unimaginative idiots.
I admire people who manage veganism! I eat very little meat but a fair bit of dairy.
Hopefully you’ll get less criticism as it becomes more widespread.
Good for you for doing it and glad you’re enjoying the benefits.

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 04/01/2019 15:23

Your eyesight has improved? Really?

Re the rest of it, it's just par for the course when you are in a minority. Try being teetotal in Ireland Wink

Ignore.

Fatbutt · 04/01/2019 15:24

you say It is just sad, because i'd never put another person down for their food choices, even if I didn't personally agree with it.

but you also say OH's family are generally unhealthy, choosing convenient foods, alcohol, sugary treats and high-fat meals over anything remotely healthy. I often feel like the 'weird' one for having vegetables on my plate at all. My thought is that they are irritated by my healthy lifestyle because they are unable to stop their own poor lifestyle choices.

@OrdinaryGirl you sharing that popcorn? Wink

Playdonut · 04/01/2019 15:24

Humans are omnivores though so you will never get full acceptance of your diet as it is not compatible with life and your dps family will care about you and want the best for you.

Nicknacky · 04/01/2019 15:24

Genuinely, how has it improved your eyesight?

Pachyderm1 · 04/01/2019 15:25

People love to be dicks to vegans. It’s because they see veganism as a reflexive judgment of their own choices (and fail to see the irony of them criticising vegans for theirs...).

You do sound slightly judgy in the way you talk about your OH’s family’s diets so make sure that isn’t coming across in real life and then just ignore them. They will get bored eventually.

PurpleDaisies · 04/01/2019 15:25

I how that popcorn hasn’t got butter on it...

PurpleDaisies · 04/01/2019 15:26

Just ignore them.

How is it coming up in conversation so much?

Pachyderm1 · 04/01/2019 15:27

you will never get full acceptance of your diet as it is not compatible with life

Absolutely - which is why nobody has ever successfully been vegan for more than a few weeks. Sadly those who tried starved to death.

Shazafied · 04/01/2019 15:27

Humans are omnivores though so you will never get full acceptance of your diet as it is not compatible with life and your dps family will care about you and want the best for you.

Haha! Then how am I still alive and how have i carried 2 perfectly healthy children ?!

Op tbh you do sound a little judgeu about your relatives diets, and a wee bit proud to be vegan .... perhaps this is coming across to them a little? Possibly not though, vegans are a bit of an easy target.

ADastardlyThing · 04/01/2019 15:28

It depends, you say you don't gloom about it, yet you mention healthy this healthy that a fair bit, Is there a chance you're not as subtle as you think? For instance I've not met a single vegan who didn't inform me they were vegan literally within the first few conversations.

I don't think it's people getting defensive, there's nothing to be defensive about?

babysharkah · 04/01/2019 15:29

Are you boring on about it? If not why is it coming up in conversation so much. Just get on with it quietly.

Playdonut · 04/01/2019 15:29

@shaz partly youth and partly supplements I imagine!

BarbarianMum · 04/01/2019 15:29

Do you live with them? If not, maybe avoid sharing meals with them (difficult at Christmas, much easier the rest of the year) and talk about something else.

Not sure what juicing veggies has to do with veganism tbh.

Do you feel you have to justify your choices to ghem (the same way you feel kbliged to justify them to us in your OP perhaps)?
You dont. Honestly, nothing is more tedious than talking about individual dietry choices (except maybe telling people about your dreams).

BarbaraofSevillle · 04/01/2019 15:31

And how have you been waking earlier with energy levels that have shot up on making the transition from vegetarian to vegan?

lastqueenofscotland · 04/01/2019 15:31

Not compatible with life... which is why Novak Djokovic, Scott durek, Lewis Hamilton, hector bellerin and serena Williams are all failing in their careers as elite sports people Hmm

HildaZelda · 04/01/2019 15:33

What exactly is 'a gluten free nutritionist'?
Anyone can call themselves a 'nutritionist'. Dietician is the protected term.
I could set my up as a 'nutritionist' in the morning.

Shazafied · 04/01/2019 15:34

Playdonut

Wrong ! No supplements and I’m not “young”.

MrsAndrewEldritch · 04/01/2019 15:34

I got really into buddhism and was vegan for 18 months.

Its a pain in the arse to cater for, no one gives a fuck, or wants to hear about it, and it made me a boring dullard about food.

I still know quite a few vegans and a pp has it spot on. It has to be announced as something special that everyone should be in awe of; the vegan person is a superior eater and single handedly saving the planet and should be applauded is usually the attitude.

Which is what i suspect is probably occurring in this scenario!

Playdonut · 04/01/2019 15:34

I was just trying to explain to op why dps family aren't happy.

But all those sports people built their muscles on meat and will start doing worse soon. Look at what's happened to David Hayes the boxer.

MrsJayy · 04/01/2019 15:34

Your eyesights improved blimey are you now like superman Grin can you not see why people would tease you ? Maybe just eat your food and stop telling people that you are now superhuman because you don't eat animals,

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