School changing DD’s name!

[Expatworkingmum]

Just found out that because there’s another child with the same name in her class, DD is called by her middle name at school.

So confused by this. It’s not her name. We’d never use it as her name.

AIBU to ask them not to do this? She doesn’t seem to mind too much but I just find it bizarre.

Your daughter's name is part of her identity. Names are so important and I'd be furious if anyone had started calling any of mine by something different to how I'd indicated they be known. My son was always called by his full first name and not the popular nickname most would be called. ( imagine Richard and not Rich or Rick ) There was one teacher at secondary school who insisted on calling him 'Ricky'. They had a really tricky relationship anyway and my son corrected him each time. One open evening I sat chatting to the teacher and he called my son 'Ricky'. I reminded him of the name my son wanted to be known as and he was so apologetic. It turned out his best friend was always known as Ricky and he just couldn't get it out of his head. Anyway, that story bored even me so apologies for rambling

Here in Mexico, most people have two first names and use them interchangeably. The uk idea of giving children second names that you don't want them to be known by is hard to understand. What is their purpose?

I'd never respond to the wrong name if someone was calling me from a little distance.

I once briefly had a job where I forgot to let them know at the start that I usually shorten my name. I soon found that I was finding it quite weird having to remember to respond to the full name I'm rarely called by, but I would have felt silly trying to get them to change it a week or two in. Because it was only temping, I didn't do anything about it, but if I had my time again I think I would have explained my "mistake" as soon as possible just so I could relax and know I'd be called by a name I respond to automatically.

We had 3 girls with my name in my form (one of 10 forms) and about 16 across my school year. How would they manage that 🤨

There are two children of the same name in my son's class and they are called by their first and surname.

It's all very well most people posting about what happens in this country, as OP is in another country what we do in UK might not be the norm where OP is.

@Coyoacan exactly. why would youngive a child a name you wouldn’t want them to be called by? very strange to me

When i was a school three of us had the same name .Teacher had no problem just can name then either 1,2 or 3 as we were know as x1 or 2 or 3 .We were all happy with it .

*said not can .

It is very wrong to just assume, but it can get very confusing if it's both first and second name the same.

I went to school (fairly small secondary school) with THREE boys with exactly the same name; Matthew James. One was a bit unusual and called himself Matchstick, he was fine, one was known as "Matt James" and the final (less popular) one was known as "the other Matt James" (had to involve the surname as there were already loads of other Matts) for all of school. My dp was actually friends with "the other Matt James" so we had no end of confusion when we started dating (few years after school) as we would get so confused. I wish one of them had taken one for the team and used their middle name!

Some parents may not want their child to lose their identity at school

They are calling her by her middle name, not performing a frontal lobotomy.

God, there's some hysterical nonsense being spouted on this topic.

YANBU that's just odd. Call the school and tell them that it's not acceptable.

Ds1 has an extremely unusual name (think 5 babies per year given this name in the UK). Of course there was another boy with the same name in his year at Primary. Once they were in the same class and his teacher used to just call out the name and tell them to decide between themselves who he was talking to. Seemed to work.

God, there's some hysterical nonsense being spouted on this topic.

So women having discussions are either 'brain dead' or 'hysterical'.

Not very original, are you? I bet you're male.

Rude

We had 4 Catherine/Katherine/Kathryns. They became Cathy, Katherine, Kitty and Kate. There are other ways around the problem.

We had 4 Catherine/Katherine/Kathryns. They became Cathy, Katherine, Kitty and Kate. There are other ways around the problem.

How do you know the parents of Cathy, Kitty & Kate were happy about it. That could be another "how dare they" thread.

So women having discussions are either 'brain dead' or 'hysterical'.

People (regardless of their sex) comparing being called by your middle name to jumping into a river are brain dead, and someone saying she will lose her identity is hysterical.

That's not everyone on the thread, just the brain dead and hysterical ones.

Others are making reasonable comments, even though I might not agree with them.

@Craft1905

So your daughter isn't bothered but you are. Keep out of it. Your daughter isn't bothered, so it's a non issue.

You advised a mother of a 5yo to keep out of her child's affairs, so yes, there may well be a hysterical and brain dead person on this thread, but it sure as hell ain't me.

I merely illustrated your point to the extreme to show you the error of your judgement.

Here in Mexico, most people have two first names and use them interchangeably. The uk idea of giving children second names that you don't want them to be known by is hard to understand. What is their purpose?

I think most people commenting are in the UK so are viewing it from that perspective, not what they do in other countries, intersting though that is.

Middle names are often the other names you would have liked your child to have but they can only have one first name. They can be a lovely extra element to your name and individuality or in my case rather embarrassing! It also often refers to a relative/friend/hero who you wish to acknowledge but you wouldn't expect it to be used regularly. It does get put down on forms and passports etc. Just the norm in the UK.

@hellojason but the op isn’t in the U.K.!

She's also not in Mexico.

My SIL is known by her middle name because the school did this, but tat was 40+ years ago.

Poor Jack C. 😂

Classic not in the UK dripfeed lol making most replies somewhat irrelevant