School changing DD’s name!

[Expatworkingmum]

Just found out that because there’s another child with the same name in her class, DD is called by her middle name at school.

So confused by this. It’s not her name. We’d never use it as her name.

AIBU to ask them not to do this? She doesn’t seem to mind too much but I just find it bizarre.

I had five Georgia’s in my class last year (out of a total of 7 girls!), so we had to find ways to distinguish between them.

Two of them agreed to be known by their first name & middle name, so e.g. Georgia Lily & Georgia Rose.

One was G.G. (her initials). One was Georgie and one was just Georgia.

(All names changed)

But it was entirely their decision.

The school haven't changed her name though she must have volunteered this name. I am in the UK but pretty sure my DS middle name would not be on anything?

Of course the school know the child's full name. Well, I registered mine with their full names anyway as that's what the form asked for. They only ever use their first name plus surname though.

They should have discussed the issue with parents before calling the kids anything. These names can stick for a life time. I would take it up with the school

There was another girl with the same first name and surname as me in my yeat at school, we we were either known as (not real names but equivalent) Sarah H and Sarah J ,as our middle names were different, or we were called by both names together, eg Sarah Hannah and Sarah Jane.
Lots of people still use both my names as that became common in school, but they weren’t intended to be linked. For the same reason some people use my middle name alone now I am an adult, so I answer to three different names.

This is in every way wrong and you should absolutely take it up with the school.
However, getting all the kids in the class to remember not to call her what they have been all year might be trickier.

Are you in France OP? They insist that a middle name is just "a second first name" so they are more inclined to use it... It's a cultural thing.

At the place I worked at years ago, there was a bloke called Jim, except he wasn’t. On his first day, many years previously, the foreman had grimly told him there was already a Mike, so he’d have to be Jim. “Jim” was plucked from the air, neither his middle name nor surname was James. Different times!
Definitely have a polite word. It must be a cultural thing but they need to respect your daughter’s preference and cultural back ground too.

Plain daft. There were around seven Catherine/Katherines in my class as well as a couple of Carolines and we coped well enough.

I'm in France and in my class this year I have two Edouard Leclercs so for paperwork and marking they are Edouard Etienne and Edouard Pascal, but in class I just call each one Edouard... although the blighters tend to sit next to each other which doesn't help. And they are of similar build and neither hs long hair or glasses which would be a help.... Personally I blame admin - we have three or four classes at the same level so they should have foreseen the potential for confusion and split them up!

Not in France, no. We’re in Asia.

She’s only 5 so I can’t imagine she asked them to call her by her middle name.

Think I’ll write the teacher a note about it.

(multiple letters for the Lucys as their surnames start with the same letter!)

We had a situation a bit like this in a school I used to work it. I'll change the names but let's say we already had a Katie Mills and then halfway through the year we got a new girl Katie Maguire. Because they were both Katie M, the class teacher decided to go to middle initials and so for the rest of their time there they were known as Katie A and Katie L. It was only when we had a supply teacher who read out the names exactly as listed in the register that I discovered that the newer Katie was actually a Catherine, whereas the original one was "just" Katie. I could never understand why the teacher hadn't asked them if they'd like to be distinguished that way.

I knew you wouldn't be in the UK, I just can't see a school here doing that although, of course, they know all children's full names, odd that someone would say they don't.

If its' the normal way they do things I'd ask if they could do something different by maybe not hold out much hope.

Perhaps the teacher asked if one of them wanted to go by her middle name and your daughter volunteered? How old is she? If it doesn't bother her, I'd probably let it go.

That's weird of course you can object she can be called 'Lucy m' or whatever to distinguish her from the other child.

If you are not in the uk, be tactful. for me (not british) that’s what midle names are there for - to be used when the first name is impractical. All names are equal, just pick one (i have 3 names plus last name).

I was one of three sharing a Christian name at my school. It didn’t require any differentiation at all. The register was called alphabetically on surnames, and if the teacher wanted to ask one of us a question in class he simply looked at or pointed at the girl he was addressing. Why the need for initials or middle names? My own sister doesn’t even have a middle name, so it wouldn’t have helped in her case anyway!

There was a time when at certain posh schools in England you were casually called by your middle name, formally it was surname.

On the other hand my uncle was known as Harry for most of his working career, although his name was Fred, because his Dad was Harry and had worked there first. I think a lot of people had no idea that wasn't his name.

This is weird!
I've had 3 pupils in the class with the same name before. I've used 'Amy B', 'Amy C' and 'Amy H' for example, or just looked directly at the child and used just the first name when asking a question. I don't sit them near each other so it's a bit easier for them to tell who I am talking to. I might also say 'Jess at the front ' or 'Jess at the back' if they have the same initial in their surname. If it gets mixed up it's not a big deal at all. We work it out. Imagine if someone did that to you in your workplace?! I'd be fuming! Also don't like my middle name that much!

We had a half dozen Ann(e)s, a handful Clares (various spellings) and several Carolines, as well as a couple of Catherines in my class at primary school. Somehow we all distinguished between them without changing one name.

In some countries that’s perfectly normal - both my cousins were lnown by their middle name at school as their first name is very, very common (and also shared). i was known by my third name for some things (middle name is the most commin female name ever, so useless for practical purposes).

Not acceptable. Tell them that they are to use her first name, and if there are two with the same last initial, they can refer to your DD by her first name and middle name initial to differentiate, ie Sarah S is Sarah Smith, your DD is Sarah B for Sarah Beatrice.

we had ginger Ethan and brown hair Ethan in my class at school as they had the same surnames too. If they both have the same initial i'd ask for full names to be used!

We had 2 Anne's in our class at primary. Anne with an E and just Ann. Similar with Karen s and Karen t.
Nobody got confused. Yanbu to want dd to have her first name used.
I don't have Any of these karen/Sharon/Anne etc names despite being born in 1968. My parents wanted a name nobody else would have (except now it's really popular and there are loads of them).
We also had Catherine with a c and Katherine with a k though Catherine became cathy later on.

I think they should have discussed it with you. Its not okay to just do it.

I had a boyfriend whose ex wife had the same name as me and he wanted to call me by my middle name. I just had to say no - it was way too confusing, I'd never respond to the wrong name if someone was calling me from a little distance.