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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To consider a loan to pay for wedding.

138 replies

InTheBirdBox · 04/01/2019 12:08

Me and DP are engaged.

We've suggested late next year for our wedding and are saving up accordingly with a view to book shortly.

Would I be unreasonable to consider just taking out a loan instead purely because I'm impatient?!

I have checked it out with my bank who have confirmed they would likely approve the request and the monthly payments are no more than what I was planning to save per month.

I know we could do it when we planned by saving but frankly, I just don't want to wait! Feel a bit childish being so impatient but I really would like to do it sooner rather than later.

OP posts:
AllTakenSoRubbishUsername · 04/01/2019 13:27

I don’t see that it’s worse than spending money on a new kitchen or a car or anything else people get loans for
I know a few people who have cars on HP, which I can never understand. You pay so much more for the car than saving up. And these are people who go for top end, expensive cars that also cost a fortune to run, not smaller more efficient cars which you would expect they would choose if they had to resort to credit. Madness.

Yulebealrite · 04/01/2019 13:27

I also see the op as having a cash flow problem rather than not being able to afford it.

I absolutely would not recommend going into debt for a wedding generally, but given the ops particular set of circumstances I can't see a problem with it.

MotherofKitties · 04/01/2019 13:27

Entirely up to you (not one for taking debt out myself but you sound like you're in a secure job!), but if you're going to be taking out credit for a wedding/honeymoon, consider a credit card instead of a loan. Purchases made of over £100.00 on a credit card will be insured, and if you get an interest free period card you won't be charged if you pay it off before the interest free period ends.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 04/01/2019 13:30

Any kind of credit costs a fortune...not necessarily. A 0% interest credit card, and then just move it onto another 0% before the period ends- also dont use the card for anything else.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 04/01/2019 13:31

If no other debt, no immediate rush to have kids/ go on mat leave then I dont see the harm in a small loan.

Popchyk · 04/01/2019 13:31

You don't mention your partner in all of this.

Do you mean that you are both putting in £4,800? So wedding will cost £9,600 in total?

Or are you both putting in £2,400 each? So wedding will cost £4,800 in total.

If it is the latter then that can't take long to save up surely if you are confident that you'll be able to pay back a loan for twice that amount? You said you could raise £5K by the time of the wedding at the end of next year, so of course it would take you less than a year to save £2,400. This time next year you'll have enough money in the bank.

Do you intend to take the loan out in your name only for the full amount of the wedding and your partner is contributing nothing financially? Because don't do that either.

Original poster
InTheBirdBox · 04/01/2019 13:32

Mind you. Saves you from going all bridezilla about it for the next 18 months. Yeah, do it next week

Ha, I'd like to think I won't be a bridezilla. To be honest I hate attention of any kind so I'm already nervous about that.

A couple of people have mentioned eloping etc... We can't do this as there a few people it's very important for us to have there. We aren't planning a big fancy wedding 3 course meal or anything, just a buffet and a disco in our local function room! I'm not planning a huge frivolous event nor would that be something I would want if I had 30k to spend!

I just want to be married to my DP and enjoy a bit of a celebration with our family. But yes maybe excitement isn't a good enough reasons to take a loan in the adult world!

OP posts:
Yabbers · 04/01/2019 13:35

But yes maybe excitement isn't a good enough reasons to take a loan in the adult world!

Only on MN. In the real world people are a bit more relaxed.

BrokenWing · 04/01/2019 13:37

If you are already living together and are in no rush other than impatient, I would wait and save. You are more likely to stick to a budget that way than if you get into the habit of putting everything into a credit card.

Really think hard about your reasons for not waiting until you can save enough as the current reasoning isn't worth getting into debt for.

Fairylightfurore · 04/01/2019 13:39

Another voice here for not doing it but obviously your life your choice.

waddlemyway · 04/01/2019 13:41

If you've done the maths and included the interest etc and it works out to be the same repayment as you would be saving, then I say do it. Because if you wait you will (potentially) have limited availability on cheaper venues and caterers etc, and that might drive up your costs, making it (potentially) more expensive than the loan. Budgeting works either way.

Original poster
InTheBirdBox · 04/01/2019 13:42

Popchyk yes, total would be 4.8k, not each.

DP will be contributing but I want to, and am happy to, make more of a contribution due to his financial commitments to his children which I of course don't have in my outgoings.

The way we work our bills/mortgage payments mean that I end up sending him money per month to cover my share of what he pays and so the loan would likely come from my account but I would just deduct his contribution from what I send to him (rather than having to get him to send it me iyswim)

OP posts:
Mitzimaybe · 04/01/2019 13:43

If I understand you correctly, you already know that the wedding will cost £5k and that it will take you 18 months+ to save up this amount, therefore you are planning the wedding for late 2020.

If you take out a loan, you can have the same wedding at the same price but you can bring it forward a year to 2019. You would pay off the loan by the time of the original 2020 date.

You wouldn't be doing anything extra or more extravagant, the only thing the loan enables is the earlier date.

Interest rates are low right now. If you can get a really good deal on a loan then I'd probably do it. I'm generally in favour of saving up for things and not taking loans out but as long as you are 100% sure it won't put you in difficulty then why not?

Mitzimaybe · 04/01/2019 13:44

Just seen your latest comment saying you'd be solely responsible for paying the loan off. In that case, bad idea. If anything goes wrong you could end up paying a loan for 18 months for a wedding that never happened.

At least take out wedding insurance.

SPARKS17 · 04/01/2019 13:45

A wedding is not worth getting into debt for, its one day and then its gone, poof! Scale back your ideas or save longer seriously seriously not worth it.

I loved my wedding, great day, but looking back I can't deny what a colossal waste of money it was!

shpoot · 04/01/2019 13:45

The minute you are married things will change financially. Won't his contributions go up as your earnings are taken into account? Not entirely sure on this one.

Nobody can tell you whether to take a loan or not but like pp have said a 0% cc is better as long as you pay it off.

You mentioned that financial immaturity isn't linked to whether you've had a credit card or not. In fact it is. A credit card actually helps your credit score increase. As long as you pay it off!

Original poster
InTheBirdBox · 04/01/2019 13:46

Mitzimaybe yes I have absolutely 0 intention on spending more than I am planning to spend in 2020, I already have prices for everything that I know we want. The loan isn't to enable us to have a huge do that we could never save for, it would purely be to bring the date closer and we would plan to have it paid by the original 2020 date.

OP posts:
KarmaStar · 04/01/2019 13:54

Hi OP,I would say save up and wait for your wedding.The advantage being when you are Mrs xxx xxx,you won't have a debt to worry about as you start married life and you can plan for your futures without that burden.Plus once the bank releases the funds it's very easy to get caught up in 'extras'and before you know it the cash is gone and you're considering adding another couple of thousand....whereas if you save you have to stick to your budget.(apologies if this comes across as thinking you can't control finances,I absolutely don't mean that at all).
The day goes so fast,enjoy the anticipation!
Wishing you lots of happinessFlowers

Fluffyears · 04/01/2019 13:56

A zero% card would be better as it does offer you protection and you can just pay off as abs when you spend anything on it. Also please get wedding insurance, £50!and it protects you against a whole heap of things going wrong. I paid my venue and dress on cc and paid it off we went from deciding in September where we wanted to being married the following April. Like you we had spent most of our savings on a big expense so had to pay off in chunks. The cc wasa great way to spread it.

Fluffyears · 04/01/2019 13:57

Oh and got married in April and paid it off by June.

Popchyk · 04/01/2019 13:59

Getting a loan in your sole name could be problematic if you can't pay it back/the relationship ends.

Getting a loan in joint names could be problematic if either one of you doesn't pay it back/the relationship ends.

Therefore, don't get a loan at all. It is a stress on the relationship that neither of you needs. That's just my way of thinking.

In terms of raising money, do either of you have any stuff you can sell? Makes sense to get rid of stuff you no longer use and put the proceeds into a savings account. And maybe sit down together and come up with a food budget for the month, switch your utilities to save money, that kind of thing. Would parents pay for certain bits of the wedding? Not saying that to be grabby at all, but some parents do contribute financially if they are in a position to do so only, of course. If one set of parents wanted to pay for a cake then that's an expense you don't have to cover yourselves.

Good luck with it.

Original poster
InTheBirdBox · 04/01/2019 14:05

Thanks all.

In terms of me being solely responsible for the loan I do appreciate the risk however, my DP is also solely responsible for the majority of our bills including my phone contract etc... as that's just the way our payments work and I send him the money for those per month so whilst yes I agree it's a risk, he also takes similar by doing this.

Re parents, I have an inkling that my father may offer some form of contribution but I don't think it would be a large amount (and I wouldn't want him to!). I doubt very much DPs will be in a position to contribute.

As I say, not decided or anything, just looked into it and was interested to hear opinions.

OP posts:
Original poster
InTheBirdBox · 04/01/2019 14:06

Oh and 100% on the wedding insurance front. Already on my list! Grin

OP posts:
Grannyannex · 04/01/2019 14:13

Why not just save up quickly and once you have the 5k get married. If it takes 10 months, great

Gth1234 · 04/01/2019 14:15

It's a matter of choice.

£10k is a bumper honeymoon, or a new car.