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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To consider a loan to pay for wedding.

138 replies

InTheBirdBox · 04/01/2019 12:08

Me and DP are engaged.

We've suggested late next year for our wedding and are saving up accordingly with a view to book shortly.

Would I be unreasonable to consider just taking out a loan instead purely because I'm impatient?!

I have checked it out with my bank who have confirmed they would likely approve the request and the monthly payments are no more than what I was planning to save per month.

I know we could do it when we planned by saving but frankly, I just don't want to wait! Feel a bit childish being so impatient but I really would like to do it sooner rather than later.

OP posts:
SushiMonster · 04/01/2019 12:56

I don’t see that it’s worse than spending money on a new kitchen or a car or anything else people get loans for

Well personally I think people who take cars on finance or new kitchens on finance are financially irresponsible as well. Dumb things to take on finance unless you HAVE to have a car for work or something like that. Kitchen? Meh. Wait and save.

azulmariposa · 04/01/2019 12:59

Eurgh please don't do this. I made the same mistake and was still paying the loan when we were getting divorced.
And I know you'll say 'oh that won't happen to me!' But we had been together for ten years when we married.

FlyingElbows · 04/01/2019 12:59

There's a massive difference between financing a car and half a day's entertainment a daft frock you'll wear once!

WaterlooElephant · 04/01/2019 13:00

I wouldn’t. I would wait, or have a smaller, simpler wedding. I’ve been to budget and extravagant weddings. What struck me most is all types are very enjoyable and it doesn’t matter what you spend as long as you have your loved ones there and that you are a good host.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 04/01/2019 13:00

how much do you want to borrow? A 0% interest credit card would be better.
My friend did this, then she took out a loan on maternity to leave to pay for the other loan whilst she wasn't working, 3.5years later now has 3 loans and 2 credit cards to pay off. Yes her wedding was beautiful but it was one day and the strain it put on her marriage wasnt worth it, and she is having to delay having a second child until they are paid off.

babysharkah · 04/01/2019 13:00

We took out a loan, we had no kids and afford it, why not? Don't regret it at all.

Original poster
InTheBirdBox · 04/01/2019 13:02

azulmariposa no I won't say that, I am weighing up the risks. It's not something I've made my mind up on or anything, just an idea I was toying with.

OP posts:
scarbados · 04/01/2019 13:03

No, please don't!

You never know what tomorow could bring and how it could affect your ability to pay even small amounts back. I'm sure there are dozens of people who could sell a story similar to mine - it was a normal Monday morning when DH went to work. 3 hours later he rang me to say the company he worked for had closed with immediate effect - no warning, no financial problems until that day when the finance admin tried to pay a bill and the account was empty. The company accountant had cleaned it out completely over the weekend and disappeared. 63 people were put out of work in a lightning flash!

Don't take out a loan for anything unless it's something you desperately need, not because you want to get married sooner.

Yulebealrite · 04/01/2019 13:03

You need to weigh up the difference it will cost you in interest. A loan for 5k will cost you more than saving 5k as you will need to factor in the interest part. An interest free credit card might be a great deal if you know that you can definitely pay it back
The question is will you? the success of these things rely on people having the right intentions but then not actually doing it.

Regardless of bringing the wedding forward you ought to apply for a credit card just to increase your credit rating in case you need a mortgage or bigger car loan for example. Make sure you pay it off in full every month though.

Original poster
InTheBirdBox · 04/01/2019 13:03

OnlyFoolsnMothers around £4,800 likely.

OP posts:
scarbados · 04/01/2019 13:04

'tell' not sell. although at the time 'selling' it would have helped Blush

Original poster
InTheBirdBox · 04/01/2019 13:06

Yulebealrite I will look at credit cards to get an idea.

I have no doubts that I will pay the repayments (in terms of my own will I mean), I have never missed a payment for anything in my life and have had things in the past i.e. car loan, mortgages etc...

Appreciate everyone's responses and warnings!

OP posts:
ginghamstarfish · 04/01/2019 13:08

Seems crazy to borrow for this one-day event. An emergency such as needing new boiler, maybe new kitchen/bathroom, but a wedding - absolutely not! There are many ways to have a lovely but not expensive wedding if it's that important to have a big day.

GabsAlot · 04/01/2019 13:10

you can afford it th8is year

go down the registry office or elope-its one day ffs

RandomObject · 04/01/2019 13:11

If it's purely a matter of cashflow rather than the amount, then a 0% credit card would work well. Sainsburys do a 30 months (I think) card that would be perfect although I'm not sure the limit would go that high. Offers some protection because I agree a loan is risky when you never know what could happen with jobs etc.

My friend who earns 200k a year paid for most of her wedding on credit cards, it's hardly unheard of.

BettyDuMonde · 04/01/2019 13:11

Also, depending on the age of your step kids to be and the length of time you’ve been together, a far-away wedding date might be healthiest anyway. It gives the kids lots of time to get used to the idea and you can involve them in planning in a lighthanded and gradual way (which makes it emotionally easier on both their mum and you in the long term).

Kids can struggle with change, even when the change that is happening doesn’t affect their immediate lives in a day-to-day way. Don’t underestimate how challenging it can because you are caught up in romance and don’t-want-to-wait giddiness about your upcoming big day.

Even kids that love and adore their parents new partners can harbour secret fantasises about their parents getting back together. Remarriage can kick a lot of buried emotions up.

Oakenbeach · 04/01/2019 13:12

If you can readily afford the loan (and it reads like you can), then getting married sooner is important to you, go for it.... £5k loan if you’re both earning decent money and don’t have massive financial commitments isn’t reckless.

People will be posting replies based on very different life experiences to you (e.g. don’t much care for a wedding, have had bad experiences of being deep in debt, or £5k would take half-a-lifetime to repay), so I wouldn’t pay them much heed.

thisonehasalittlecar · 04/01/2019 13:17

To me, never had a credit card= pretty good at managing finances actually. I would recommend looking into 0% cards for this but many are only 0% on the first few months of spending, so you would have to make sure you paid for everything now as later purchases on the card would attract interest. Also there will often be a fee to take a cash advance from the card so if you were going to go that route you would have to check it didn't add up to more than the interest on the bank loan you are looking at. And please take out wedding insurance so if the doom-mongers are correct and there is an unplanned pregnancy/illness/redundancy/tornado that whisks your house and all your worldly possessions away in the pipeline, you can cancel the wedding and not spend the next three years paying for a wedding that never happened. Good luck!

Augusta2012 · 04/01/2019 13:17

Don’t bother, just don’t have an expensive wedding. Honestly, in 20 years time you won’t give two shits if third cousin Barry had a three course meal at your expense. All you’ll care about is that your nearest and dearest were there.

purpleleotard · 04/01/2019 13:17

absolutely a crazy ideal
If you cannot afford it don't do it.

shpoot · 04/01/2019 13:18

You'll pay back more than you borrow so it won't be the same

Ethel36 · 04/01/2019 13:18

I wouldnt. I would save up first. Save the loan option for when to need to buy a replacement car/replacement boiler etc.

Gazelda · 04/01/2019 13:22

I wouldn't. I'd be too worried that the car needed suddenly replacing, or one of us lost our job or the boiler packed up or some other urgent expense

Plus, half the fun of our wedding was the build up, the excitement, the anticipation etc. I'd want to drag that feeling out for as long as possible!

shpoot · 04/01/2019 13:22

Mind you. Saves you from going all bridezilla about it for the next 18 months. Yeah, do it next week

AllTakenSoRubbishUsername · 04/01/2019 13:24

Any kind of credit costs a fortune - although it depends what the APR on the loan your considering would be. Whatever it is though, it's just money down the drain. Far better to save, and have fun thinking of frugal things you can do (we got friends to save jam jars then we decorated them and put a mixture of lavender/wild flowers/bought flowers in them. That sort of thing. I absolutely never get anything on credit any more - it is such an expensive way of spending.