AIBU to think there should not be equal split

[Thinker03]

Ok so DH dad passed away 2 years ago. He owned a flat which he purchased with my DH and his sister, DH never lived there but was quite young when he was put on the mortgage purely to help his dad out. The sister always has and still does live in the house. When the dad was alive he paid his mortgage ALONE. No help from the sister on the mortgage or one of the other now adult siblings who occupies a room rent free.

For background info there's 5 Adult siblings including my DH.

When his dad died as house was joint tenancy it passed straight to DH and his sister. Despite the fact that there is 5 Adult siblings all together because they all have their own lives and "are so broke" DH and his sister have been going half on the mortgage. The plan is to sell when market improves asap.

So as not to drip feed info. DH and I have 2 kids we want to have more but canr yet as we are too stretched for money and too stressed. We have struggled to pay our bills our mortgage plus half of mortgage on Dads old house which is now technically DH and his sister house. DH has never lived in house. Also for added info we won't be going on holiday this year as we can no longer afford it. DH has been doing overtime at work.

By the way the dad always spoke about wanting his kids to split the house if anything happened to him but no he didn't have a will and couldn't of really stipulated such anyway due to the way the house was set up a long time ago. (Joint tenancy)

Other than the sister DH is going halves on mortgage with there is also an adult brother living in the house unemployed and rent free. As he is "Just trying to get on feet"

There are also 2 other siblings who have kids of their own and like I said "So broke" and have never offered to help pay the mortgage in light of our situation.

Recently they have been talks of the house being sold and the fairest way to split the house. There's been mention of an equal spilt between them all. AIBU to suggest that an equal spilt is no longer applicable since only DH and his sister have been paying the mortgage?

It’s possible to still have a large mortgage payment on a small amount outstanding, who knows when the interest rate was set!

I think it should be split 5 ways, but after your husband gets his mortgage payments back, and any other taxes and fees. Sisters mortgage payments not necessarily refunded as could be seen as rent.

after deducting rent from waster brother

We don't know his circumstances, may have just had spell of bad luck, it happens and his dad wanted the flat split by 5.

Wanted it so much he didn't get round to putting it in writing or anything legal. I'mnot that sympathetic to the siblings who've done nothing but are impatiently tapping their feet for the proceeds of the sale. They don't seem bothered about causing trouble among their siblings.

Don't think who pays the mortgage means anything in this case. It's whose names are on the title deeds. If your DH, his sister and deceased FIL all have their name on the deeds then it will be a 3 way split. Your deceased FIL's share (1/3) will go to next of kin ie all his children to be given a share of his 1/3. Assuming there is no MiL as you haven't mentioned. Bit of an oversight not to have a Will but can't be changed. Why not charge the others rent, or agree the value of the 1/3 split between the siblings (your DH will be entitled to be included in his father's share) and if the value of rent is anywhere the value of a share call it quits saying they basically forfeit their share for due rent then start charging. There will be costs for settling all of the estate and those will need to come from FiLs share. On another note, why on earth are you thinking you would like more children when you are in such financial difficulties. A bit of reality needed I'm afraid.

They can’t charge rent

Brother is unemployed
Sister is already paying half the mortgage
It’s been going in 2 years

When his dad died as house was joint tenancy it passed straight to DH and his sister.

Legally very clear cut.

Most sensible thing is for DH & sister to pay for legal advice from specialist solicitor. Not one on the High Street. Take a look at the Law Society website register to find a specialist in inheritance taxation & planning. This allows DH & sister to make the best informed decision for them which as sole owners of the property is fair & moral. Money well spent.

Who paid how much & when against the mortgage is a red herring, as the arrangement is not in dispute by the relevant parties, the mortgage payments are up-to-date as far as we know so there is no dispute with the mortgage provider.

There is no moral or legal obligation on DH & sister to redistribute their legal profit to people who were not partners in the original contract.

Had the property lost considerable value, & the mortgage been correctly paid up, leading to substantial negative equity & long term debt to mortgage lenders. Surely, in the interests of family harmony, all the other siblings would step up to financially support & release the stressful burden on the DH & sister ?

I suggest the non-inheriting family members would be keeping their collective traps shut, their purses kept firmly locked with no offers to reduce the burden of debt on DH & sister. So it’s not all about fair play, is it ?

why on earth would 5 adult children not sit him down and sort a will!

That might be easier said than done - took us over ten years to persuade my Dad he should write a will - by the time he did, the solicitor had to come out to him tlfor signing, as he could no longer manage the steps into the office. It was only a week or so before he died.

How was the house owned jointly, they reached owned a third irrespective of who pays the mortgage. I would think the fairest way would be 1/3 is you DH, 1/3 his sister and 1/3 (as dads "esrate") divided by 5 as a goodwill gesture

i would call a family meeting and say that enough is enough,
the house belongs to DH and DSis and you are struggling to make the payments and not one of you are willing to help but are more than willing to stand by with your hands out "demanding" a share of a house that belongs to DH and DSis ( ram that point home)
so as it stands the only way for this to go on is either they all put their hands in their pockets, and each month pay one 5th of the mortgage ( if they want a hope of a share that is) or you will need to move back into the home that you own half of and DBro will need to move his lazy ass out ( the gravy train is closed) until the mortgage is paid
and then sell and then you and DSis will discuss weather or not to give a token amount to anyone or share 50/50 between themselves maybe if help is offered at this stage you might be willing to share more... tell them its in their greedy little hands... help pay and get rewarded, dont help and dont get rewarded

and i would do the 1/3 way if you do sell, after all bills/taxes etc paid 1/3 to DH 1/3 to DSis and share 1/3 either between the 3 remaining or between the 5 of them depending on how eager they are to pitch in...

Their father paid mortgage until his death now the husband is bearing a too heavy load, he can't afford it. It stops there.
Even if he kept a 1/3, he will ultimately receive even less than the others because of the CGT.
Everyone in his family can see this is unfair, & must change

sirfred the property is outside of the estate and is outside for administration purposes, but is still declared in the estate for inheritance tax. It just gets declared slightly differently on the inheritance tax forms but is included.

Manic FIL does not have a third share to leave between the five. If they were tenants in common in equal shares you are correct, but they were beneficial joint tenants.

This is not difficult at all if you are willing to be fair

The issue is how to turf out the paying sister and unemployed brother

What a mess your fil left for his siblings to fallout over.
Personally I think you should put the house on market asap and sell the property.
Regarding the proceeds of the property sale that's for DH and SIL to discuss and agree.
Regarding the other 3 siblings living there rent free I think its time the apron strings were cut and they go out into the real world and take responsibility for themselves as adults.
I would tell them they have to find alternate accommodation within 8 weeks and do the property up before placing on the market.
They have taken advantage of FIL and have enjoyed the spoils of living rent free for god knows how many years.
Do your siblings care or are even concerned that your stressed out and working every hour god sends to pay both mortgages and that your missing out on quality family life.
Answer NO
They are only concerned about themselves and there cut of the money.
Have any of the 3 siblings offered to pay rent since the FIL died answer NO
Familys stick together and help each other. that's what family is all about.
Your siblings don't respect that and are only thinking about themselves and are still taking advantage.
boot them out,cut them off and good riddance to the blood suckers that's what I would do.

I need some advice, been through hell with my ex last year while I was pregnant. He was emotionally abusive and would scream in my face and swar in front of DS which is only 2. He demanded that the house would be put up for sale so I agreed and we had a buyer, I moved out and back to parents because we sold the house and were only waiting to sign on completion. I then had a beautiful DD and ex was all sorry and wanted to try again. I said no could never go back and put children through that. Ex has now pulled out of the sale and is refusing to sell and has moved back into the house. Any advice?

Mami you need to post this on a new thread