AIBU to think there should not be equal split

[Thinker03]

Ok so DH dad passed away 2 years ago. He owned a flat which he purchased with my DH and his sister, DH never lived there but was quite young when he was put on the mortgage purely to help his dad out. The sister always has and still does live in the house. When the dad was alive he paid his mortgage ALONE. No help from the sister on the mortgage or one of the other now adult siblings who occupies a room rent free.

For background info there's 5 Adult siblings including my DH.

When his dad died as house was joint tenancy it passed straight to DH and his sister. Despite the fact that there is 5 Adult siblings all together because they all have their own lives and "are so broke" DH and his sister have been going half on the mortgage. The plan is to sell when market improves asap.

So as not to drip feed info. DH and I have 2 kids we want to have more but canr yet as we are too stretched for money and too stressed. We have struggled to pay our bills our mortgage plus half of mortgage on Dads old house which is now technically DH and his sister house. DH has never lived in house. Also for added info we won't be going on holiday this year as we can no longer afford it. DH has been doing overtime at work.

By the way the dad always spoke about wanting his kids to split the house if anything happened to him but no he didn't have a will and couldn't of really stipulated such anyway due to the way the house was set up a long time ago. (Joint tenancy)

Other than the sister DH is going halves on mortgage with there is also an adult brother living in the house unemployed and rent free. As he is "Just trying to get on feet"

There are also 2 other siblings who have kids of their own and like I said "So broke" and have never offered to help pay the mortgage in light of our situation.

Recently they have been talks of the house being sold and the fairest way to split the house. There's been mention of an equal spilt between them all. AIBU to suggest that an equal spilt is no longer applicable since only DH and his sister have been paying the mortgage?

You add up what your DH and sister have been paying and remove that money from the will money first then divide the rest equally.

There was no financial contribution from my DH as he was only young at the time. I agree that it is a bit of a mess.

Thank you for your responses some great points raised and plenty to think about. I do agree that the non paying and rent free siblings should receive a share/cut but do not think it should be equal now due to the circumstances but at the same time not sure what the fairest solution would be either. Saying that as one of the posters here have mentioned 2 years is not that long for their to be such a significant increase of equity either, so maybe DH money back plus interest is the fairest right now. The interest to account for the stress that we have been put under.

I loved my Fin but at the end of the day he's left us albeit unintentionally in the sh*t firstly by allowing DH to be on the deeds in the first please as DH was fresh out of uni at the time and didn't really know what he was doing. I know he wanted to split the house equally but he didn't finish paying off his mortgage and it's not his money being used to finish off paying it either!

I know the family well and they are selfish remember the dad had been paying the mortgage ALONE. With no help from the two siblings that live there. The sister only stepping up to plate now. I know the family would quite happily wait till the market improves or till the mortgage is paid off as it makes no difference to their pockets, they are simply just waiting patiently to receive "their cut" all whilst having done nothing to help in the years since the father had passed. Someone mentioned that the siblings should receive their cut from share of the house that was paid by FIL up until he passed. That's a good idea also, now just to weigh up whether it's better to do it like that or just to add interest on the payments DH has made, doesn't help.that I'm rubbish at maths but again it's only been 2 years. Any input from clever mathematitions would be greatly appreciated!

Currently the house is worth 800,000 down in value from 950.000. I have no doubt that the other siblings expect that DH should get his money back at least, but they don't seem to care HOW he is getting the money in the first place or whether he dies from stress trying to get the money in the first place they are just thinking oh well he will get his money back.

Some really great ideas here guys...

What’s left to pay on the mortgage?

I don’t think the other siblings should have anything. The house belongs to your DH and sister and proceeds should be divided between them. We have a similar situation in our family — Db lives with DP and his name is now on the house. When DP die he will get the house (he pays mortgage but DP cover the other bills), there is no arguing that.

I loved my Fin but at the end of the day he's left us albeit unintentionally in the sht firstly by allowing DH to be on the deeds in the first please as DH was fresh out of uni at the time and didn't really know what he was doing.*

One might have hoped someone with a degree would know not to sign things they don't understand.

What was the benefit to the FIL of putting a 21 year old in their first job onto a mortgage application? It sounds sketchy as fuck, because it makes no sense.

@cherries
Unless you want to ensure your other siblings go NC that is an extremely bad idea.

1/3 to your DH
1/3 to his DSis who is on the mortgage
The remaining 1/3 between all 5 siblings

He probably just wanted to help his dad out and didn't realise the implications that would come back to bite him on bum. Practices like this are not unheard of for 17 years ago when the FSA wasn't on the Bobby ball. I agree the obvious but people had done all sorts to get on the property ladder back then but I digress as there's no point talking about should haves and could haves now!

@user139...(how do you @ a person btw) what does NC mean?

@greenTulips

I think about 85k is left

they don't seem to care HOW he is getting the money in the first place or whether he dies from stress trying to get the money in the first place

If it's such a stress why didn't you DH and sis just sell the house straight away when your fil died. Then it would have been a simple 5 way split and no drama. They've chosen to keep paying the mortgage, knowing that most of the money in the house was not morally 'theirs', as the fil trusted them to split it.

I know you want the siblings to be more involved, but the property isnt in their names so there isn't much they can do, except wait for DH and sis to sort it.

I agree you FIL created this problem, but he presumably thought his two children could handle it.

Can't believe some of the ridiculously unfair things that have been suggested on this thread (pay a mortgage for 2 years and waltz away with a third of the property?!? How could anyone treat their own siblings so badly).

Just sell it now 🤷🏽‍♀️

Posted early...what are you waiting for? Half of an 85k mortgage is about 160 quid a month. Yet they will get 160,000 each split 5 ways if you sell now?

Who cares if FIL let his son and daughter stay with him rent free? He paid the mortgage so that's his business.

@Moaningsickness my DH wanted to sell straight away, got the house valued by three different agents but his sister who goes half with got cold feet and said she didn't want to sell and as Joint Tenants both need to agree.

They probably need to have another conversation about selling but DH feels like he can't as he has been accused of only wanting to sell because he "wants money" and doesn't care about the nostalgic element of flat.

Ok, so your DH says fine, don't sell but I have to stop paying my half of mortgage as I don't have it either.

He should've removed himself from the situation years ago if he couldn't afford it as this was always going to happen

@shpoot ok maybe I'm wrong there as DH pay Just over £1100 per month

Ok I get that it was up to FIL to let his child live rent free. But surely some consideration should be given to DH as number 1 he doesn't live there and is paying half a mortgage 2 he didn't benefit from being on deeds in first place like I said never lived there and 3 has a young family

Why should everyone else just be rubbing their hands waiting for the pot of treasure at the end. If they want to split equally then they should all be equally helping to pay for the mortgage. But they don't want to do that because they know it's not their name on deeds...

Put it this way they are happy to gain equally but not happy to help equally.

But maybe that's irrelevant.

The flat really should be sold asap in truth

The capital gains tax situation is complicated here too, remember that will need to come out before distribution too.

You are right @shpoot he needs to stop paying. I think he was scared that if he didn't pay then no one would and his credit would be affected.

His sister doesn't want to sell

Only wants to pay half

Can only afford to pay half

So in the meantime DH is paying whilst he figures out what to do as he not paying half will result in the house being repossesed then we really will be screwed! (Credit wise)

Well I see several options

1. If the family want to continue living there then The family agree to pay 25% of how much dh would get if sold now plus however much DH has been paying to cover mortgage and they take on the flat and continue the mortgage

1. Flat is sold splitting the money equally 5 ways

1. Flat is sold..dh and sis take back whatever they paid in plus interest. Remaining funds are split 5 ways

1. Flat is sold. Dh and sis take back whatever they paid in plus interest. Someone calculates based on a minimum amount (say 200 per month) that the other family members have been living rent free as that should be savings. That amount is split amongst siblings who haven't lived there. Then remaining funds are split 5 ways

1. Sell the flat and split money between the homeowners and deal with fall out potentially never speaking to other siblings ever again

1. Sell the flat and the 2 siblings agree that they will give a nominal amount to the other siblings.

@sirfredfredgeorge I thought capital gain was only if you were then going on to buy another property..?

@imalittleelf

Can you breakdown number 1 for me? Maths is not my forte

There needs to be some weighting for the risk that your DH and his sister took on by being on the mortgage. If your FIL had defaulted then either they would have had to pay the mortgage or they would have taken the credit hit of a repossession. The fact that it didn't happen doesn't lessen the risk that they were taking. There should therefore be some reward for that risk.

Agree it needs to be sold and sorted ASAP. Your DH cannot go on paying for a mortgage he can't afford just so his siblings can carry on living in a flat they couldn't otherwise afford. Why should you and your DH be subsidising them?

I don't think there is any way to split the value that will seem fair to everyone but I would personally sell the flat then DH & SIL take back the money they have paid towards it and split what's left equally between all the siblings. What's not fair is that two of the siblings are benefitting from living there now and the longer that goes on the less fair it gets.

Surely the sister should pay rent to your DH and the no mark brother?

He should be claiming housing benefit which should go to your husband and his sister - half each

Your husband can force the sale via a solicitor

You are massively wrong with how much is left if they are paying 2,200 a month mortgage!

These facts need clearing up as it makes a huge difference.

Your DH and his sister should obviously get their payments back.

But otherwise the reason it should then be split equally is because your DH agreed to do this with his father and sister. He did nothing at all to remove himself from the situation in 17 years. It was inevitable.

He is bound by a mortgage to repay it.

It seems that you are annoyed about the brother who lives there rent free. I would be too. So charge him some rent!

Or move in there with sister and kick the brother out. Renting your house out in the meantime.

Of course sister doesn't want to sell. She's living in an almost million pound house and only having to pay half for it.

I assume she pays 100% of the bills?