to just want someone to tell me what to do to make my baby stay asleep? Almost at the end of my tether :-(

[HollyGoLoudly1]

So my 4 month old DS used to be a great sleeper. Without any intervention he started sleeping long periods at night from a few weeks old and eventually 8-10 hours straight from about 8 weeks old. So we never had a strict bedtime or nap routine, there was no need. How naive!

Then one night he wouldn't go to sleep until almost 11pm and woke up every 2 hours. Put it down to not feeling well or teething or growth spurt. Poor lamb. Then the same the next night. And the next. And it's been 3 weeks now. There was one infamous night where he didn't sleep more than an hour at a time. There is nothing obvious causing him to wake. He is no longer as happy or playful during the day either since this all started. I'm exhausted and regularly in tears in the run up to bedtime at the thought of another awful night. Me and DP bicker constantly because we're both so sleep deprived.

The only thing that works most of the time is breastfeeding him back to sleep, which I know is a bad habit to get into. He will always go back to sleep but will never stay asleep Please does anyone have any advice, suggestions or success stories? Or even just a hand hold to get me through another undoubtedly horrible night?

I'm right there with you lovely. Never felt lower on my life. Not sure we will ever want a 2nd.

We've said the same. How on Earth would we manage another child if they slept like this??

Like others say, we regained some kind of sanity through bfing and cosleeping. Safe guides here cosleeping.nd.edu/safe-co-sleeping-guidelines/. The No Cry Sleep Solution book also helped us make gentle changes over time.

Luckily our second was naturally a good sleeper - we could put him down drowsy and he'd drift off, like all the books told us. Often it really is just the child! We in fact went on to have 3 more after non-sleeping DS1, it does get better. Sadly ds4 is turning out to be a bit more like ds1 so I'm a bit sleep deprived again, but know it's not forever, it's much easier when you've done it before.

Re co sleeping. I'm open to it. But he still wakes! I've tried feeding on my side but he feeds then cries.
Am I doing it wrong? I'm only managing a 2hr stretch if he sleeps on me and I find it so hard to sleep like that

I haven't read the whole thread but make sure you read Lullaby Trust co sleepimg safety guidelines if you are/might end up cosleeping.

It is tough. See sleep as evolving, not linear. Your baby will have good nights, good weeks and then teething etc will throw it. Try to look after yourself and plan more relaxed, less strenuous daytime activities.

My baby is now 1. I have always fed her to sleep. She used to sleep in a next to me then a cot, sometimes 6 hrs straight and sometimes wakimg every few hours. At 7 or 8 months she began waking every 2 hours. It was exhausting so I began cosleeping, following all guidelines strictly (no pillow etc, am teetotal, if I was really shattered she went in cot etc). We still mainly bedshare as we both enjoy it but in my bed or in her cot, she still sleeps long stretches now. Apart from when teething and she's up nearly every 1.5 hrs for a few nights. If I'm tired, on those nights I actually go to bed soon after my daughter, even if it's 7pm, then I get more sleep even if its broken as we are sleeping at the same time.

What I'm trying to say is, infant sleep changes all the time so look after yourself, get as much help as you can in the day. You are doing a great job. It's normal for them to wake lots. Its biologically normal to breastfeed to sleep. Your baby wont always have that need.

I hope you get more sleep soon

Also, I think its good for your baby to nap in day and you shouldnt wake them
Sleep breeds sleep.

I

Just sending sympathy. It’s shit and there is not a lot you can do about it.

Three babies all had really bad sleeping at night.

The one thing that kept me sane was crazily actually slightly embracing it, so knowing that it was going to happen and that this was my life for the next month or so and not stressing about it. It’s not going to be forever and as he’s the first then you don’t actually need to do anything during the day. So just embrace it and think about the utterly fantastic amazing job that you are doing keeping another human being alive and don’t worry about anything else.

Well tonight's about as bad as it gets. He didn't go to sleep until midnight (after a nap 6.30-7pm), slept for 40 minutes and has been awake since

He's had formula, several breastfeeds, offered a dummy, checked his temp, given calpol just in case... Nothing works. As soon as I put him down, his eyes fly open + he's wide awake again. It's been weeks now. Health visitor had no advice aside from what we're already doing. Praying he grows out of it. I don't know how he's surviving cause I'm half dead

You mentioned you have a next to me? Here’s what worked for us: do you have a sleepyhead by the way? They’re amazing.

When the baby starts stirring, do a slow, firm, rhythmic pat on their chest. (About the same speed as Ewan the sheep on the heartbeat setting). It reminds them of being in the womb next to your heart and can send them back off again. We were shown it when we had a hospital stay with DS at 4 weeks - nurses on the children’s ICU use it to comfort and settle the babies, and it really does work. I used to settle DS in the next to me, sleep with my arm in the cot, hand on his chest, and just pat him when he started stirring, and it worked at least 60% of the time, which means you would get at least 2 four hour stretches out of it.... yes, you are still woken up and need to do the patting but it’s only for a minute or two.

Hello, didn't want to read and run.
The regression is normal, as soon as you accept it I promise you it will feel slightly better. I haven't had a child that slept through until 18month, but these worked for me.

• let him nap in the day, doesn't matter if it's over 2 hours, do not wake at 4 month old my baby was sleeping 3.6hr in the day.
• when he wakes, could you take him downstairs, plonk in the bouncer in front of t.v. while you rest on the couch? Not the most popular opinion but the stimulation usually gets them back to sleep.

-a tiny bit of food, again unpopular opinion but maybe even a spoonful or two of actual food, not baby rice may help to fill him up a wee bit. -tummy sleeping, I have a 7 month old whose been sleeping on her belly since 8 weeks, she's more comfortable like this. X

And no napping that late! Dd goes to bed about 8, I don't let her sleep beyond 5.

I'm so sorry OP.
I have given up with the crib and we are co sleeping. Even then he is waking every 2 hrs ut it's a bit more survivable than what we were getting in the crib. I get the exhaustion I really do. DS has silent reflux so everytime he wakes he wants to feed and then he needs to be kept upright for at least 20 mins so each wake up is about 45 mins for me.

Fuck the 4 month sleep regression. That is all.

The 4 month sleep regression nearly broke
me. Twice.

Newborn stage is an absolute breeze. Sure they wake regularly for feeding but when they sleep, they sleep!

My two were absolute nightmares from 4 months to around a year with sleeping. They woke so much and so often that I thought I would never sleep again! With my first I tried everythung. Nothing worked.

With my second, I co slept. That gave me at least enough sleep to survive but by about 8 months or so I needed my bed (and boobs) back.

I was so jealous of friends who said their babies slept well!

I have absolutely no advice but know you are not alone, everyone has been there and at some point it does get better.

It’s the four month sleep regression and in my experience, there is not much you can do to help. You just have to ride it out. 6 month sleep regression is also bad. Sleep will be up and down for a while yet...I think it’s easer if you just accept that there will be no consistency and that this is your new normal. The newborn months are bliss!

It's the four month sleep regression. For many of my friends it caused semi-permanent sleep problems. I used the sleep coaches advice in her blogs on www.preciouslittlesleep.com and have had a great sleeper ever since. She's slept till 7-8 in the morning ever since and stopped all night wakings at 11 months.

It's ok to find this bit so hard! It's ok to not be able to cope - I couldn't. The Little Z Sleep podcast has some great tips, and we personally used Little Sleep Stars consultancy here in the UK. It was very gentle sleep training, and even before we trained (in the end at around 7 months) I used to watch her Facebook live videos and got a better understanding of my baby's sleep needs. You might not want to sleep train, but I'd recommend a watch just to see if there's anything simple that could be adjusted.

He's only 4 months so I feel still too young to sleep train. The most frustrating thing is he's a brilliant sleeper during the day! Goes down awake in his crib, puts himself to sleep + is fairly routine in napping 3 times at day at roughly the same time.

Come nighttime, it's like he's a different baby

Update: having another rubbish night and was cuddling baby while lying down. He fell asleep instantly on me when he was on his front. I decided to experiment and try him in his crib on his front... fast asleep in 5 seconds! I've been watching him for almost an hour now - still fast asleep!

It's such a relief to have him sleeping I could almost cry. BUT! Sleeping on his front is obviously against current SIDS advice, so I still can't sleep for worrying/watching. Anyone got any advice??

Oh op I made my kids sleep on their bellies when they were small (talking 10 weeks old) it was the only way to get some sleep, I wasn't all that worried but I can understand how you would be! Can you set an alarm to get 5 min sleep?
A friend of mine has a baby that didn't sleep, I've recommended tummy sleeping and she kept saying no, eventually she caved and tried it and baby slept a good few hours, enough to make her feel human again.
As hard as it will be, try lay down yourself, grab a magazine or stick a film on quietly💖

Hi, no advice really but I did the same. 4 month sleep regression lasted 7 weeks for me. I was on holiday in NZ and it suddenly dramatically improved when I came back to the UK - maybe the change in timezone jolted her out of it! My mum put her down on her front and she napped for 2 hours which was a first. Eventually I had to try it at night as she was waking every 40-60 mins and I was on my own at night time. After that I always put her down on her front - she still didn't sleep for more than 2-3 hours until over a year.
I am scientifically minded and well aware of the strong evidence supporting back sleeping. However, we were desperate. I initially couldn't sleep from worry and would wait til she was asleep then try and turn her onto her back. She would wake within minutes. I had the cot raised at the head end which might have helped. In the end I consoled myself that one theory about sids is that they sleep too soundly on their front so are less likely to wake in a low oxygen situation. However given mine was still waking every 2 hours I figured that even on her front she wasn't sleeping that deeply! Also we ended up Co sleeping - I would put her in the cot at the beginning of the night and keep her there as long as possible, but come 3am she would end up in our bed. She would still wake but at least I didn't have to get up in the cold and would go back to sleep quickly xx

Another thing re sids - we had none of the risk factors eg smoking, things in the cot, we breastfed, no family history or increased ethnic risk which helped me to feel better about it. I think as well if she had slept for hours at a stretch (ie very deeply ) then I would have tried to stop x

My youngest was rolling himself to his front for sleeping by 4 months. I hated it too but not a lot I could do, and he does prefer to sleep that way.

It's the sleep regression, DD's lasted 6 weeks - you really just have to get through it any way in which you can and it will return to normal-ish. DD is 6 months and did sleep better before the regression but we're back done to one night waking now at least.

As others have said, he's too young for sleep training - you were very lucky with his sleep before and hopefully he'll return to it.

It's so horrible and hard but it does pass.

Can he roll yet OP? DD rolled at 4 months so she's been sleeping on her side and front sporadically since then.