to just want someone to tell me what to do to make my baby stay asleep? Almost at the end of my tether :-(

[HollyGoLoudly1]

So my 4 month old DS used to be a great sleeper. Without any intervention he started sleeping long periods at night from a few weeks old and eventually 8-10 hours straight from about 8 weeks old. So we never had a strict bedtime or nap routine, there was no need. How naive!

Then one night he wouldn't go to sleep until almost 11pm and woke up every 2 hours. Put it down to not feeling well or teething or growth spurt. Poor lamb. Then the same the next night. And the next. And it's been 3 weeks now. There was one infamous night where he didn't sleep more than an hour at a time. There is nothing obvious causing him to wake. He is no longer as happy or playful during the day either since this all started. I'm exhausted and regularly in tears in the run up to bedtime at the thought of another awful night. Me and DP bicker constantly because we're both so sleep deprived.

The only thing that works most of the time is breastfeeding him back to sleep, which I know is a bad habit to get into. He will always go back to sleep but will never stay asleep Please does anyone have any advice, suggestions or success stories? Or even just a hand hold to get me through another undoubtedly horrible night?

Cuspish don't worry about it. Know what u mean about feeling hateful, it's hard to feel gooey and lovey about your baby when it's 3am and you haven't managed to get a single wink of sleep

Getting overnight help from the grandparents this weekend thank god. Just in the nick of time before I actually lose my marbles completely

This was me! Good sleeper by himself, then 5-6.5 months lousy sleeping! I think it was teeth and also he was banging into the sides of his cot, so we have moved him into a travel cot with mesh sides and his sleep is dramatically better. Also he was too cold when dressed as let Grobag guidelines - I could feel he was cold on his chest & back, so we kept the room a bit warmer. Good luck! It was a horrible couple of months, I was like a bear to DH!
Re: sleep regression, is there any scientific evidence of it? Didn’t find any papers on a cursory google so not sure I entirely believe in it.

@HollyHoLoudly1 how are you doing lovely? We have had 6 weeks of dreadful sleep and it's getting worse. This morning I have caved and contacted a sleep consultant. Sleep deprivation is dreadful.

Ffs @HollyGoLoudly1

have you tried co sleeping it saved me when mine were tiny at about 6 months i ended up turning her ikea cot into a cosleeper for a few weeks.

ishitglitter he is in a 3 sided crib attached to the bed. I have tried having him in bed with me but it makes no difference.

It's absolutely awful going through it you stop looking forward to going to bed as you know you're in for a hard night every night. My first DS slept like a dream, second DS woke every hour until about 18 months.. two hours was a victory! Nothing wrong, just how he was. Now at 23 months he's sleeping through from 6/pm- 6/7am with the odd cry as he can't find his juice bottle. I feel alive again!

It's not by any chance that he's wet more often? My DS was waking lots and lots and I realised even though he was in the right nappy size for his age, a bigger more absorbent nappy did the job - he must be a 'heavy wetter'!

Try the next size up nappy - go for the pampers extra dry if you can afford them and see if that helps?

Also swaddling if your baby liked it as a newborn? X

Sorry I haven’t read the whole thread but my DS preferred to be swaddled and also has ‘Ollie the Owl’ white noise toy. It has a cry sensor so it kicks in when baby makes a noise and plays for 20 mins. We love ours!! Really helps him to self settle.

Also I think it's a heartening thing that he's previously been a great sleeper - remember this, he's just going through a phase, you'll be okay.

As you're bf, how about getting an electric double pump and expressing him throughout the day a 150ml bottle and try giving it to him at 11 or 12? Might very well keep him asleep for a crucial for your mental health 4 hour chunk.

Have also heard great things about the Ollie the owl thing - apparently it plays a heartbeat or other white noise when the baby stirs, helps them drift back off.

Hi everyone, still not any better I'm afraid. Last night we never even made it to 2 hours sleeping at any point during the night. He's so exhausted during the day he actually naps really well + I regularly have to wake him if he's going over 2 hours. So frustrating he won't do this at night!

We've got a Ewan dream sheep, which doesn't seem to help but I keep using it for consistency. He's still refusing dummies even though he used to love them. I did try cosleeping one night but it didn't seem to help, and I slept much worse because I was worried about him. Back in the Next To Me he goes! I've put my top under his head, tried giving him a giant formula feed last thing (he is mixed fed but only one bottle at night), tried an extra blanket in case he's cold... nothing seems to make a difference.

Think I just have to accept that he's going to have to get through this phase and I cant fix it for him. They don't warn you about this at the antenatal classes!

@Mississippilessly how did you get on with the sleep consultant?

Honestly, the best thing you can do is accept it and stop looking at the clock. The more I check the time and count wake ups, the worse I feel. My DD is 13 months now and her sleep has been shit since the 4 month sleep regression. 2hr stretches would have been a good night, 3 would have been amazing. The 8-9-10 month regression nearly broke me, waking every 45 mins for 2 months solid.

Go easy on yourself, try and rest and nap when he does. Don’t worry about house work, cooking etc, get your DH helping as much as possible. It will pass, it feels like forever now with no end in sight but it’s not.

My DD has just started consistently sleeping better and even ‘slept through’ the other night 22.30-5.45 and then got up at 9. I honestly thought I would never see that happen but it is getting better. We co sleep and bf to sleep and for every wake up. Don’t feel like you shouldn’t feed to sleep or believe the crap that they’ll always wake for bf if you don’t train them otherwise. It comes with time. Good luck.

Could he be teething? Have you tried the correct dose of Calpol?

Try different dummies if he is rejecting one type.

A few mouthfuls of baby rice before bottle?

Hungry baby milk instead of normal?

Try putting a thin hat on his head, it was the only thing that worked for one of mine and it's the only one of mine that worked on.

Youngest DC slept with a freshly used breast pad next to them while they were swaddled so it still felt and smelt like they were in my arms.

I used to be a real PITA when i was a baby but me nan had a very good fix and she put a decent swig of brandy into my last feed of the evening apparenty it did work very well.

Course can't recommend it as i don't know the offical measurement of a "swig"

In all seriousness DD2 had this with her boy around that time she was in a sort of dazed state a lot of the time but it did impove and even now sometimes the little monkey is awake all night other times hes out for all night and part of the morning, suppose its all the joys of being a parent:!"

I’m so happy I’ve just found this thread! I’m in the same boat re 4 month sleep regression and I’m holding onto the last strings of my humanity by sneaking chocolate in bed while DP snores like a chainsaw and DD suckles away at her 2nd bottle of the night...

I can’t offer any advice I’m afraid, but it’s just nice to know there are so many other mums having the same shitty time, so there’s that.

DD has been out of sorts for a month now, started just before Christmas (guess she was super excited for Santa 🙄) and I think (I’m jinxing it, I know) but I think I may have found light at the end of the tunnel. For the 2nd night in a row she’s been down by 8:30 (I’m also guilty of feeding to sleep after reciting 4 bloody books from memory, a full body massage that I could only dream about, and so much rocking I’m sure I’ve cracked a vertebrae). We have a MyHummy, which she screams at when it comes on so have instead opted for a hand on the chest when she wakes, a few pats, if that fails I resort to the feeding. My HV advised against any weaning or baby rice in the milk as feeding solids has no effect on their sleeping through the night and that I should just carry on putting her back to bed when sleepy in the hopes that it sticks. (Currently down to 2 hours of constant reassurance and screaming before she settles for the night and then she wakes at 12, 2:30, 5:30 and then 8:30)

I hope your little one kicks their regression soon

Haven't rtft but just wanted to say don't feel bad about feeding to sleep. It's lovely and its natural for baby. And if it helps get him to sleep quicker it's easier for you. 😊

I'm sure I read on here, someone who filled a latex glove with rice or lentils, used that for the baby, so it felt like someone's hand was still on them.

A very wise HV once told me to put my son down earlier when he wasn't sleeping so I started putting him down at 6 instead of 7. It worked a dream. It was 15 yrs ago but don't think babies change much!!

Also we didn't have iPods/iPhones etc so relied on a CD that I played every time I put him in the cot. It was Norah Jones! I played the first few songs every time I sat on his room and left it playing quietly to soothe him to sleep.

Now he is a 6ft 3in 15yo rugby playing teen, but if I put Norah on in the car he says it makes him sleepy!! It makes my nipples twitch and I can smell baby milk so it's obvs traumatised us both!!

I'm so sorry you're going through this, OP.

Please don't try to sleep train your baby though, it's so damaging to them.

This is all just normal. Since the 4 month sleep regression, my baby hasn't sleep through the night. He's now 8 months old and still only sleeps in our bed with us.
It's completely normal for babies to wake through the night, though I know it makes you want to crack your head against a wall.

for you OP.

How's it going OP? We're still having bad nights over here too. 3 hours sleep for me last night! Feeling dead on my feet as baby is EBF and is so far refusing to take a bottle so 4.5 months of doing all night wakes pretty much solo is taking its toll. Teeth and wind are our main problems I think (DD's not mine )

A few things we've tried in case it helps.... cranial osteopathy - took DD for an MOT as it worked wonders for her feeding issues when newborn. Nothing wrong with her, but confirmed teething (which I knew anyway) but good to have ruled out anything else.

Teething - have been using Anbesol gel which seems much better than bonjela/dentinox which I used to use with DS1 when he was going through it. They can have the gel from 4 months and the liquid from 5 months. Also using Ashton and Parsons powder when I remember.

Wind - I used to use Infacol but that just didn't seem to be doing anything, so have gone to gripe water. Bit more of a faff, especially if you feed to sleep like me, but boy has it been doing the job at getting the wind up! Much better! Don't think DD is too keen on the taste but it's working.

DD also seems to have Eczema so am trying to get that under control in case that's annoying her at night. She also had cradle cap which had lingered for a while and she used to scratch it when she got upset so I bought some Colief scalp oil (I know you can use olive oil etc but I'm at the desperate stage of chucking money at the problem!) which has worked a treat.

Sleep environment and temperature - I know they should sleep with you til 6 months due to SIDs risk, but DD was being woken up by us and creaky floorboards/DH going to work etc, so have moved her into her own room -she's 4.5 months. I think this has helped (if she's not suffering with anything else ) so I'm glad we did it and if we have a bad night and she's still sleeping in the morning, mentally I feel better being free to get up and not feeling like a prisoner having to stay in bed in case any noise I make wakes her! I've also just invested in a Gro Suit in case she gets cold arms (but haven't used it yet as only arrived yesterday!).

We've got a Ewan, which isn't a miracle worker, but helps her stay asleep for a bit. Was wondering about getting one of those with the cry sensor as I'm getting desperate!

I'm sure you've probably tried all of the above but thought I'd share in case any of it may potentially help or give you a glimmer of hope. You're not alone

And it will pass. It's a totally shit time whilst you're in it though.

Thanks for all the ideas everyone. Another crappy night last night sadly! Waking almost every sleep cycle around 40mins - you could almost set your watch by it. He is definitely teething, you can see one about to come through so I'm hoping that will help.

Bizarrely he is much more settled during the day when he naps, barely moves a muscle and regularly has to be woken once he reaches 2 hours (trying to limit the length because he is almost now sleeping more during the day than at night!).

to everyone going through similar issues. This shall pass. This too shall pass. This too shall pass.