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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about not allowing outside food in restaurant?

312 replies

Gnomesrule · 03/01/2019 17:54

I own a restaurant with play area. We do not allow people to bring their own food. Many reasons including allergies, food poisoning etc and also there is a restaurant so we cater for all food requirements. We do have parties and allow people to bring birthday cakes only, but they are cut and wrapped by us and not eaten on the premises.

We have more and more people bringing their own food especially for unofficial parties etc. Many even leave the wrappers for us to clear, plus mash it into the carpets etc. We recently even had a parent cracking peanuts who was shocked when we told them that it wasn’t allowed (we don’t sell food containing nuts).

Would you find it an unreasonable request to be asked not to eat outside food in a place that has a restaurant?

Also if you held an unofficial party would you find it unreasonable to be charged to have your cake cut and wrapped for you?

OP posts:
mindutopia · 03/01/2019 21:18

It’s quite cheeky to rock up somewhere with an entire cake and expect to cut and serve it in someone’s restaurant. But frankly, my 10 month old doesn’t really eat a full meal and I can’t imagine having to buy a toddler meal or packet of crisps or something for him when I can give him two slices of apple for a snack. I’ve never bought a meal out for mine under about 18 months as it’s not like they eat fish and chips. But difference is I do always clean up after us and we buy adult and other kids meals. Anywhere that didn’t allow outside food for babies though I just wouldn’t bother giving them my business.

Original poster
Gnomesrule · 03/01/2019 21:21

@Mookatron we bought this place after having kids and hating all those places. We thought we could do better! Our place is clean and has good food. Yes we sell chips but also lots of food cooked from scratch in house. We are a husband and wife team and we work bloody hard. Our only day off is a Sunday and even then we are calling in and pop by now and then.

People have no concept of how much work is involved and how much profit you actually make. Also how the business is largely seasonal, yet we still have costs to cover all year round. So when you next ask for a cup of hot water because you brought your own tea bag consider how much that cup of water actually costs. The cost of food stuff in Tesco etc is cheaper because they have massive buying power. Our suppliers are much more expensive.

OP posts:
Cuddlykitten123 · 03/01/2019 21:23

I would expect to be able to bring snacks/pouch for a little one (say under 18months) as most places don't offer a kids snacky option suitable for a weaning baby, only full meals. But beyond that yanbu.

Twickerhun · 03/01/2019 21:33

Op can you confirm if you have a problem with people brining in god for babies or young toddlers?

Twickerhun · 03/01/2019 21:33

Food not god

Original poster
Gnomesrule · 03/01/2019 21:36

Toddler snacks are generally basic but these are also often the people who make a mess and don’t clean up. Considering under 1s are free and we have dustpans and brushes around, I think this is rude. We do have toddler snacks available inc yogurt and rice cakes or houmous.

OP posts:
HauntedPencil · 03/01/2019 21:37

The cake thing seems to be causing confusion but you generally pay a venue a set price for a party package, though some people to have a party on the cheap just arrange to meet friends at the venue and whip out a cake.

You might not see anything wrong with this but if it's generally done then it would affect the venue as no one would bother booking parties.

Which is why a few around here ban cakes.

The last party I booked was actually cheaper per child than paying entry and buying the food, however people I know that do this expect you to pay for your own entry!

HauntedPencil · 03/01/2019 21:37

The cake thing seems to be causing confusion but you generally pay a venue a set price for a party package, though some people to have a party on the cheap just arrange to meet friends at the venue and whip out a cake.

You might not see anything wrong with this but if it's generally done then it would affect the venue as no one would bother booking parties.

Which is why a few around here ban cakes.

The last party I booked was actually cheaper per child than paying entry and buying the food, however people I know that do this expect you to pay for your own entry!

OnlyaMan · 03/01/2019 21:38

When I was a little boy, back in the austere 1950's, some seaside cafes would allow you to bring your own tea bags, but would sell you a little teapot of boiling water.

Walkingdeadfangirl · 03/01/2019 21:49

YANBU - Totally agree no outside food.

Also if there is an increase in 'unofficial' parties then are you sure your party packages are correctly priced? You might make more money if they were less expensive.

I would also consider offering Birthday cakes as part of the deal, I am sure they are easily supplied.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 03/01/2019 21:52

Your place sounds lovely OP. As a customer I would think it was ok to feed a small child a small snack while waiting for food from the restaurant. I would be willing to buy your snacks rather than rely on the ones out of my handbag but I wouldn’t plan on buying snacks and a meal unless we were staying for ages. If you offered party packages I would expect birthday cake to be off limits unless you’d paid for a package. Basically you’re running a business so I’d expect to spend a reasonable amount for your facilities through entry fees/food/drinks.

HannahnotAgnes · 03/01/2019 21:56

It sounds like you need to start charging for adults to enter & also charge for under-1s (assuming there is somewhere for them to actually play).

You also need to get tough with customers & make it very clear that no food is allowed to be brought onto the premises (although likely I'd allow small snacks eg raisins, bananas, Pom bears & such like, but not full on lunch & no sandwiches or sausage rolls etc).

If they bring their own food, then they get a polite but firm warning to put it away or they can leave immediately without refund.

No cakes for parties that haven't been properly booked at the venue. (Why would you even consider facilitating this? Charging to cut the cake is madness & will get you a reputation for being grabby, rather than your actual reason for doing it).

Exceptions only in cases of extreme allergies or intolerances.

Purpleartichoke · 03/01/2019 21:57

I’ve seen several kids places that have an expensive cake fee posted if you are trying to get away with hosting a party without actually paying to host a party.

I do still think you would be well served by allowing birthday cake to be eaten onsite. I would not plan a birthday party at a venue that did not allow it. However, there are probably parents who prefer it. You just have to decide which policy works better for your business.

HannahnotAgnes · 03/01/2019 21:58

Agree with @TestingTestingWonTooFree - your place sounds lovely.

anotherdaygoesby · 03/01/2019 22:05

Gosh I'd go for some GF fish fingers!

A kids play space with decent food catering for allergies with allergy book, cross contamination in place is my dream.

Cuddlykitten123 · 03/01/2019 22:06

Your place sounds ace... wish it was near me!

ErickBroch · 03/01/2019 22:11

Cake thing is odd. Worked at independent restaurants/pubs for years and we would always take a cake out back, put the candles in, then bring it out to the table for the party... we would never charge. We didn't cut or wrap it either though, the table would be given a knife and napkins and we would put it back in the box for them after. Most places do this. Charging for that is weird.

Love51 · 03/01/2019 22:15

I think charging cake-age dilutes the message.

No outside food.
Vs
No outside food, unless you want a big cake, or you are on a diet, or you don't want the food we offer, or you Do want the food we offer but at Tesco prices.

People with genuine issues like the pp upthread gave an example of (ham sandwich and wotsits cannot be replaced with ham sandwich and other crisps without distressing her son) or allergies will ring ahead, or just play on the first visit while thry check you out. Clear boundaries are more respected than woolly ones.

ShesABelter · 03/01/2019 22:18

People who haven't booked as a party turning up with a cake are ripping the piss. You can't leave them to light the candles and get on with it for health and safety and why should your business cover the cost of the napkins etc. Yes you should charge something or try to discourage it.

subspace · 03/01/2019 22:27

I think a firm no food rule, but I'd allow a cake for free as long as they were actually paying for something. Sorry if I missed it but why are you wrapping and making them take it home? I don't know anywhere that does this but perhaps I'm missing something. I've worked in many restaurants, and customers bringing their own birthday cake, no problem, they've eaten a meal of ours first.

If you sell snacks for kids that hit most parents' wishlist (kid will actually eat it, is healthy, isn't ridiculously overpriced) then crack on. But I think that as you are finding out, signs alone don't work, you'll need to be the food police (sadly) especially outside. Hopefully after an initial period people will in general get the idea.

DinoDave · 03/01/2019 22:34

There is a mid ground between banning cake and taking it away and cutting and wrapping it for people.

Just ignore the cake bringers - surely that’s easiest? Let them bring a cake and do what they want with it. And less likely to piss off customers who are presumably bringing a good amount of custom to the door in X children to play plus drinks/snacks/maybe meals etc.

LittleTipple · 03/01/2019 22:36

I think it's a balancing act OP. You are running a business and need to make a profit, but equally you need customers to feel you are friendly and welcoming. Too many rules and signs up, doesn't sound like a fun or relaxing place.

Obviously all main food should be purchased onsite and this should be made clear, but I wouldn't expect to be told off for giving my toddler a box of raisins, if I'd bought food and drink for myself and other DC. I would reconsider your pricing structure, including a nominal fee for under 1's, depending on your facilities. Sometimes people have unofficial parties because it's only a small group and not worth booking a party room etc. As long as you are still getting business from them being there (including purchasing your snacks/meals), I would still welcome them, but say there is a charge for cake cutting.

Whenever we eat out I'm very conscious of any mess we make and always clear under the table etc, but many people don't. As a business owner this must be so frustrating, but I think it has to be expected when catering for young children.

Returning2thesceneofthecrime · 03/01/2019 22:47

I think you should have an official policy of no outside food allowed.

If someone calls to enquirer about a party and wants to bring a cake, say that you can come to an arrangement (cakeage). Likewise, if someone calls and advises of allergies etc. But the first line, official policy is no outside food.

Mammylamb · 03/01/2019 23:00

Yanbu. A local business which has a cafe and play room seems to have this trouble too. A few weeks ago the owner found a left over happy meal box!

Cheeky fuckers all over!

MidniteScribbler · 03/01/2019 23:04

I might be the only one then that sometimes giver her toddler food from by bag. The other day we ate in a pub, we were leaving and waiting to pay was taking long. Maybe my toddler is the only one that can't seat quietly for long but I gave him tangerine from my bag.

But why do children have to constantly snack? People can go a couple of hours without eating. If you'd just had a meal, then he doesn't need more food. You could have actually interacted him whilst waiting to pay, rather than just shoving food into his mouth.