AIBU about not allowing outside food in restaurant?

[Gnomesrule]

I own a restaurant with play area. We do not allow people to bring their own food. Many reasons including allergies, food poisoning etc and also there is a restaurant so we cater for all food requirements. We do have parties and allow people to bring birthday cakes only, but they are cut and wrapped by us and not eaten on the premises.

We have more and more people bringing their own food especially for unofficial parties etc. Many even leave the wrappers for us to clear, plus mash it into the carpets etc. We recently even had a parent cracking peanuts who was shocked when we told them that it wasn’t allowed (we don’t sell food containing nuts).

Would you find it an unreasonable request to be asked not to eat outside food in a place that has a restaurant?

Also if you held an unofficial party would you find it unreasonable to be charged to have your cake cut and wrapped for you?

Given the issues you’re having I think you’re sensible to at least try a cake-age fee for people that bring cakes (I wouldn’t even specify birthday cakes) without using you for a party package where it is included. Then reinforce the message by pointing out the free cake cutting and wrapping service as part of your party packages. Give it a go for the next 4 months or until the end of the summer holidays or what makes sense to your business and see what difference it makes, then you will have a much better idea.

If you are having a problem with people bringing their own food and leaving a mess, I would go further and say very clearly that you reserve the right to charge a cover fee where people bring in and eat their own food - an immediate charge of £2/head for each individual in the group - even if only one person has been spotted.

Temper it with something along the lines of ‘if anyone has any allergies or intolerances or special food requirements, please talk to us in advance so we will not need to charge you’.

That way, if someone is taking the piss you have a mechanism to charge them. But if someone says my toddler will only eat banana and marmite sandwiches or ds is severely allergic to things on your menu or can my baby eat carrot sticks while we wait for the food, you can be charming and say of course, that’s not a problem, it’s just that we have lots of people that try to ask for a glass of tap water then bring out their own picnic and leave a mess, I’m sure you understand why we can’t afford for this to happen! And have a nice brief conversation, also gives you a chance to say well did you know that this is what we do about cooking for those with allergies or for next time we do sell that brand of babŷ food or we will let it go this time but we do sell a pot of carrot and/or cucumber sticks that we can bring out straight away for exactly that ourpose’ Or we sell a different brand of baby food - why do you like this brand or other questions to find out more from your customers.

I would also be tempted to do a small questionnaire with some of these questions and issues in - make people more aware of the financial consequences for them and you! But remember that the answers will be biased, especially from the cf who think it is time to brink their own picnic and cake!

My local play area charges £100 for the segregated party room and this includes cake, food, and drinks. Extra food is banned and there are prominent signs everywhere that in the case of an allergy caused by outside food both the police and the ambulance would be called.

This is entirely normal in almost every place I have taken my children to. Yanbu.

Some people are arrogant and think they can do whatever they like because ... just they because.
Put up notices. Ask yourself would you go to a pub and crack open a bottle of wine?? Of course not, have confidence in yourself.

Thanks for your reply OP - though I'm still not totally clear, it sounds like you are a softplay where you are charging for entry with an optional (albeit lovely sounding!) cafe? In that case I don't think you can restrict all food - your customers are paying to be there but why does that give them the obligation to purchase food from you? I will admit that unofficial parties and cakes and hot water for tea are pushing the boundaries but even with your wonderful sounding menu there are unlikely to be things in there that I can comfortably eat - I'm not going t go into anaphylaxis on you now but I will have some uncomfortable side effects and I genuinely don't see why I should be obligated when I'm already paying for a service (my kids to play). I totally get it if it's just a cafe but if I'm there for another reason and paying to be there for that reason, why does that mean I have to spend more on your food? I wonder if you need to reconsider your prices for the soft play rather than replying on the food to supplement and getting all bent out of shape about me bringing my travel cup of rooibos earl grey with homemade oat milk! I do sympathise and I'm happy to be called out as a cf but I don't see why I should have to eat what I don't want to eat or not get to eat when I'm already paying to be there. Sorry if that's not the set up of course!

You should take a birthday cake out for the guests to eat if you've allowed them to blow out the candles. When I used to work in a restaurant, I would take out plates, forks and a knife so they could have the cake. It's just a nice gesture since they've paid for lots of main meals. And hospitality like this encourages repeat business.

Other than that, baby food is fine to be brought with customers. As well as, sippy cups of squash/water for children. There's no point in ordering water for a child when you have a cup full with you already.

It not uncommon but it does restrict where I can take the kids.

Both have coeliacs and it's very rare we find somewhere that does gluten free food and even rarer that they do it without cross contamination (unless it's a pre packed brownie!) so we take food every where.

I find it frustrating that most places say no because they cater for allergies but won't make an exception when you point out that they can't cater for coeliacs though. I've been told outright that since they won't die from it as a one off it doesn't really matter if they eat gluten anyway!!

I will add though I'm assuming you are a soft play with cafe. I know you've said you have gf offerings but what about cross contamination? Seperate fryers/utensils/ cooking and prep areas?

It would be beyond rude to turn upto a restaurant with a small play area and wack out a picnic!

Saying no to outside food is fine, if you use correct judgement for each situation. Say no to adults sitting around eating their own food from home of course. But you need to understand that if a group of mum's and toddlers decide to visit at say 2pm on a quiet weekday, have already had lunch, and are paying to use your softplay equipment, you can't chastise them for cracking open a pack of pom bears or some fruit if the kids get hungry. They are obviously not going to want to order meals, at said time, and on a quiet midweek day, you should be welcoming their custom, and hoping to create return custom, not scaring them off by policing their toddler snacks.

Cake-age?! wtaf. I worked in a restaurant for 16 years and gladly lit candles, brought out cake, sang happy birthday, and brought out extra napkins, etc for thousands of CUSTOMERS as part of my job was to give great customer service, not try and screw people out of every penny I could. (We even let them EAT the cake at their table 😱) and shock horror, cleaned up after then when they left, as thats part and parcel the duty of the restaurant providing service. I would have been mortified if my boss said we'd have to start charging them... for what?! Some napkins that cost next to nothing when you're buying in bulk. Jesus Christ. It seems you've lost sight of the bigger picture here... your customers are what is keeping your business up and running, charging for a pointless service is just pathetic and will drove custom away. Who really cares if they want to have their cake and eat it?! 😂😂😂 Give then a good, relaxed, enjoyable experience so they recommend you to their friends. Good customer service is so hard to come by these days, so why not stand out from the crowd and make yourself known as the "friendliest softplay/restaurant around" instead of the "place that doesn't let you eat your own cake in there, and charges you for bringing it!" as that really sounds pretty embarrassing when it's written down doesn't it? I know you don't want customers taking the piss, but there's a fine line between letting them take the piss, and taking the piss yourself. If the issue is the staff time it apparently takes up while they're cutting the cake, why not invest in a plastic cake knife, and leave the customers to cut it themselves? Tell them they need to supply their own napkins if you really must, but for God's sake don't charge them for cutting a damn cake they're forbidden from eating! Think of the awful online reviews you'd get.... 🙈

I might be wrong but I think I know OP - HT at W?

Yoghurt and hummus are terrible options for toddlers. My 18 month old loves both, bit I wouldn't dream of feeding either in public, especially if I didn't have a full change of clothes with me (for both of us).

I think with very little ones you have to accept they their mums are going to be fussy about what they eat and you probably won't be able to suit everyone. If I'm ordering food for me and and multiple kids, I wouldn't have thought twice about feeding the baby snacks from my bag while we wait to avoid a meltdown.

Also - I try not to leave a mess. But if you are serving one year olds grated cheese in sandwiches then you are really asking for it. (Soft play pet peeve there...)

The ban on them eating cake (from parties) on your premises seems draconian and rather petty. I would go elsewhere for that reason alone. Most restaurants manage it without getting their knickers in a twist, and given you encourage birthday parties, b it just seems mean. Let then cut it themselves if you want, bring their own napkins etc, but just let them eat cake for goodness sake.

A for the rest of it, i agree with you, though I do despair at the children's food options available at most places. I do worry though that your meaness when it comes to cake is also manifesto other areas of the business. It would definitely put me off as a potential customer.

Are you maybe coming at this unofficial party/cake issue all wrong? It's not about the cake, it's about the unofficial party. Why are they not booking an official one?

Price
Minimum guest numbers
Pay for all guests in advance, when unofficial can be flexible on numbers and just pay on the day.
Food package

If it is cheaper to pay 10 kids in, buy fish fingers chips and beans x10 and a few jugs of juice than it is to book a party, then there is your problem.

If they get to run round crazy for an unlimited time, but party time is limited to 1 hr, perhaps that's the problem.

You need to create a party package that is flexible and gives/is perceived as having more value than the unofficial route.

Start asking your unofficial party hosts why, in a very nice non confrontational way, why they didn't want to book a party. You will be amazed at the variety of answers you get.

A lot of people on this thread seem to think that restaurants are free, warm places for allergy sufferers to sit with their friends. They’re really not. Of course it’s frustrating to struggle to find somewhere to eat out, but it’s not realistic to expect a free seat to eat your own food.

Exactly!!

Although you may cater for more of the popular diets it is extremely difficult for a restuarant to cater for all types of diet so I think so long as there are paying customers at the table, it is fine.

A lot of people on this thread seem to think that restaurants are free, warm places for allergy sufferers to sit with their friends. They’re really not. Of course it’s frustrating to struggle to find somewhere to eat out, but it’s not realistic to expect a free seat to eat your own food.

I would have thought any restaurant would rather have a table of clients eating and drinking though one of the party brings his/her own supplies rather than lose the whole table full of customers because the allergy sufferer can't be accommodated.

Also, in OP's shoes, I think I'd only object to people occupying the cafe tables to eat stuff they'd brought in, because presumably there are customers who just bring the kids in for a go on the softplay rather than to have lunch. For someone like the PP who can't afford snacks at the softplay as well as entry, it might be better to have the snack on the way home, I suppose, but it's not that big a deal.

Big sign on door and reception desk and walls. Due to hygiene concerns and allergy precautions, NO outside food to be consumed on the premises. Thank you for your cooperation.
Then police it firmly and politely, pointing out the signs.
Our local softplay used to make you sign in, had this on the top of the page and also on the till receipt and disclaimer. Their food was nice, reasonable price and plentiful.

Another one used to have food police that scanned tables for offending parents who were asked to bag it or leave. Was always packed with kids. Their food was astronomically priced, think 120% on a bag of crisps, bananas at £1 each (2005).

Set your own rules and then enforce them. Some will be offended and !make a fuss, most will realise you are running a business.

Cake cut and wrap fees here are pretty standard unless you buy the cake from them.

@Gnomesrule but you are cutting the cake, so why such a big deal to let them eat it there? Nowt to do with allergies and everything to do with them not eating the food you are selling if they eat their own cake.

Again, nothing wrong with that but at least be honest with your motives.

I have no issue with places banning people from eating their own food, but don’t pretend it’s for any other reason than the loss of revenue.

It's a business, not a charity! Do you have any idea how tight margins are in restaurants? They go to the wall every day, I'm sure in part due to CF who buy a cup of coffee and then take their own food in.

OP, you're not being unreasonable at all. No-one should be bringing their own food in.

A lot of people on this thread seem to think that restaurants are free, warm places for allergy sufferers to sit with their friends. They’re really not. Of course it’s frustrating to struggle to find somewhere to eat out, but it’s not realistic to expect a free seat to eat your own food.

It makes business sense to allow one person to eat food you can't provide (allergy wise) if it means the rest of the party stays. It's not great but ideally allergies would be better catered for and it would be less if an issue but no one has ever turn us away and we eat out a fair bit

its a very normal rule to have, and yes to charging to cut and serve a cake is also normal ( same as a byo wine is charged corkage) you have to cut and serve and supply plates and forks and then clean up, you make no actual profit on the cake, so you at least need to cover the staff time, washing of plates and clean up time... and remember that because of the cake they wont be buying a desert from you so its also lost revenue... so cover the costs at least...

A lot of people on this thread seem to think that restaurants are free, warm places for allergy sufferers to sit with their friends. They’re really not.

This is one of the nastiest, most thoughtless and insensitive things I’ve ever read on MN. Should allergy sufferers just stay at home alone all the time because restaurants can’t cater for them? Should they sit outside in the street while their friends and family pop in for lunch? That’s mean and discriminatory. As an allergy sufferer I’ve had to take my own food many times because I can’t be catered for. It’s bad enough sitting there with a sandwich while everyone else orders lovely food. Without being ostracised from social occasions altogether! What about people with disabilities that require feeding tubes etc - should they also be refused entry to restaurants with their families because they won’t be eating?

With my youngest son [anaphylaxis to nuts, milk & severe IgE allergy to eggs, fish plus epipens et al] I would contact places in advance and ask if they could safely provide anything from his very limited medical diet.

Most understood a kid with anaphylaxis complete with epipens and a care plan is way different and would be willing to deep clean and provide a very simple mains. Most would allow us to bring in a milk & nut free yogurt or similar for his dessert as that was safer.

With current improvements to allergy awareness in food prep' I think posting signs to ask people to alert you to their allergies so you could cater would cover most who may be faddy rather than have a life threatening allergy. You can always add if your carry epi-pens to contact you in advance for advice on menu choices.

Yanbu

Other than proper baby food you are ok with not allowing any other food. You don't need to be apologetic for not allowing it either.

Problem with letting some people do it is that everyone will think it's ok. You need to politely ask people to stop and continue to promote the fact that you have food available to suit (almost) everyone.

Parents of kids with extreme food allergies etc know the score too. They can just phone ahead or ask to speak to someone when they get there. It's not difficult.

So for those of you that say “let them eat cake” what if that cake contained nuts. What if, as they do, they squished the cake into the carpets. A child with a nut allergy came into contact with the cake and had a reaction. We would have no idea what would have caused the problem and and no way of providing ingredients information to parent / hospital. Also no idea of knowing where the child came into contact with the nuts. So no for the millionth time it isn’t about money it’s about caring for customers and keeping the environment safe for all.

The idea of a charge was more to put people off rather than to make money. A fee for cake is hardly going to have me rolling in the riches.