AIBU about not allowing outside food in restaurant?

[Gnomesrule]

I own a restaurant with play area. We do not allow people to bring their own food. Many reasons including allergies, food poisoning etc and also there is a restaurant so we cater for all food requirements. We do have parties and allow people to bring birthday cakes only, but they are cut and wrapped by us and not eaten on the premises.

We have more and more people bringing their own food especially for unofficial parties etc. Many even leave the wrappers for us to clear, plus mash it into the carpets etc. We recently even had a parent cracking peanuts who was shocked when we told them that it wasn’t allowed (we don’t sell food containing nuts).

Would you find it an unreasonable request to be asked not to eat outside food in a place that has a restaurant?

Also if you held an unofficial party would you find it unreasonable to be charged to have your cake cut and wrapped for you?

I think it’s reasonable to either ban or charge for non party cakes.

Some posters seem to be saying YANBU unless it affects them in which case you are then being unreasonable

*planespotting

I might be the only one then that sometimes giver her toddler food from by bag.*

No, I did that when DS was younger. He was also an incredibly picky eater and wouldn't eat any of the standard children's menu food. Or any of the nicer children's menu food. He pretty much lived off broccoli, yogurt, cheese (but only the right cheese) and rice cakes for a while. Then he branched out to crackers and chicken. Eating out was really awkward and we bought many children's meals that ended up wasted before giving up, feeding him before we went out and just slipping him a few rice cakes to keep him happy while we ate. It was never a problem, we always got sympathy and understanding, and now he will eat more normally those places still have us as customers, so they've not lost out.

@dramalamma if I say soft play with restaurant people will think typical crappy cafe with chips and not much more. We are certainly not that. But yes children do pay to play.

I've taken in my own food to places for DS because I can't afford to buy food there, once I've paid the entry

Then you can't afford to go there and need to choose a different outing for you and your DC.

I'm actually quite shocked that you need to have this explained to you TBH

You only care about people getting food poisoning or eating food they are allergic to, if they are on your premises? If someone eats the cake on the doorstep outside you’re fine with that? You know you aren’t liable if they eat their own cake in your restaurant and become unwell, any more than they would be if they ate it once they got home.

Or is it actually because if they eat cake (or their own food) they aren’t buying yours?

I have no issue with places banning people from eating their own food, but don’t pretend it’s for any other reason than the loss of revenue.

I have worked in a few places that have charged to cut cake (it’s called cakage?) and I think it’s fair. Don’t charge a fortune though.

And no one should be bringing their own food into a restaurant (other than cake).

I wouldn't allow unofficial parties to bring cake. A big 'only food bought on the premises to be consumed, including birthday cake!)
I would be asking people to put away their own snacks too. Am sure a kid can go 2 hours without a packet of pombears!

Yanbu. It's C.F. to take your own food into a restaurant or cafe to eat, except for baby food or unless someone has serious allergy (then I'd ask to see epipen) that they've spoken to you about & ask nicely. I agree with your comments about cutting cake charge as you're supplying staff member and napkins to cut & wrap it.

I agree with @Olennaswimple

Yup, I wouldn’t let non party bookers bring cake

Wow @Yabbers obv I run a business and need to make money but no this really isn’t about that. The cake we cut and give back to parents for parties is included in the cost so no money being made. The charge I’m talking about is to discourage others bringing cake for unofficial parties. They still don’t eat the cake but it’s a pain having to cut it etc. As for being responsible, once cut we return to parents to distribute so its their choice if they want to give to the kids on their way out.

Argh I have a tearoom and this drives me nuts!! It is amazing what CF there are! I am more than happy to heat up baby food, also if someone has a serious allergy etc no issue as it is easier for me if they eat their own food. People are so brazen though, we once had a group come in and ask if they could eat their pack lunches in the cafe because it was raining, I said no and they left. 5 minutes later one of the staff found them all eating in the toilets!!

I'd say toddlers and under food is (just about) acceptable as toddlers can be so fussy. Young children own drinks likewise (as often they get fussy about cups/bottles, or can't drink easily from ordinary glasses. All this if the accompanying parents are eating and drinking a usual amount for themselves and paying full price.

As for other food and drinks, no.

As for cakeage, if it's a large group and they've spent a decent amount then I wouldn't charge, as a goodwill gesture. I've brought a cake just for the "Happy Birthday" moment for family/friends do's, but I wouldn't dream of asking for it to be cut up and distributed by the restaurant, it's just there for the candle blowing show.

It really depends on if you get a lot of liberty-taking customers. If there's enough that's it's problem to your profits then you need to stand up for your business. But people can be touchy and getting customers in the door is good, so... (shrugs) what's your competition like?

It’s absolutely fine to not allow people to bring in food. The only exception would be if you can’t cater for a specific allergy. I wouldn’t make an exception for cake though. Instead I’d make it clear that NO food is to be brought in, including cake. If you want cake then you book a party and buy cake on the premises.

I think if someone says they want you to cut a cake I think it's ok to say we have a £5 policy for cutting and wrapping up cakes due to the time it takes for a member of staff.

To be honest I'm sort of one of your rule breakers. My dd 2.5yrs is allergic to dairy and soya. I always take a packed lunch for her but do buy bits for her from the menu eg drink and apple as I feel bad. I buy stuff for myself too. Although if I knew you had safe food then the next time I'd go I'd buy food from you. And sometimes if I get somewhere and they do have safe food I'll buy her a meal and bin the packed lunch. and you do just get very fussy kids - my friend has a 5 year old who will only eat marmite sandwiches on white bread.

Some posters seem to be saying YANBU unless it affects them in which case you are then being unreasonable
Or some posters realise the world isn't black and white. If we do soft play we do it and eat there. So three adults eating paninis etc plus one child eating a kids meal. DS won't eat a kids meal. He might eat a bit of my panini. I can't buy just cheese there, I can't buy crackers, I can't buy pepperami. So I can take those three things, and collectively we can spend £20 on food and drinks or we can leave early and not spend £20 on food and drinks. DS is PEG food with significant oral aversion issues. A £5 kids meal is a waste of money and food. A kids sandwich meal is a waste of money and food. The group we're out with have all bought food and drinks. I'll have bought DS a treat. Thry can choose to turn away £40 for a few bites of food if they want to

Also OP I'd just put a sing up saying no food. If they are unofficial and ask about cake cutting give someone a dinner knife or tell them no. I wouldn't say no unofficial cakes but here I'll cut and wrap it for you.

The cake thing is a bit weird, whenever I have taken cakes anywhere they bring napkins/plates/a knife and you can cut it up. I think not letting them eat it there is odd.

I suppose you could charge but it seems a bit churlish if they’re spending money.

YANBU otherwise re the food though unless it’s baby food.

I said you were being unreasonable a while back. It is a pet hate of mine when scummy fried food expensive soft play centres don't let you bring your own food - especially big chain places. But you don't sound like that. I've changed my mind. Anyway you are entitled to do what you like and enforce whatever rule you like! You just need to get tough!

My colleague left a hilarious bad review on Facebook for a cafe that had an outdoor picnic area for anyone, but he wanted to sit in their cafe instead because his son was scared of wasps.

One of my team commented asking exactly where he had planned to eat his PICNIC in the first place.

A lot of people on this thread seem to think that restaurants are free, warm places for allergy sufferers to sit with their friends. They’re really not. Of course it’s frustrating to struggle to find somewhere to eat out, but it’s not realistic to expect a free seat to eat your own food.

OP - am I right in thinking that ‘unofficial’ parties are when people pay for the play time but not food, balloons etc., but then start asking if you could ‘just quickly’ cut up the cake and so on? I personally would just say it’s no cake if you haven’t paid for a party. People will try to argue if you say there’s a charge; it will be more hassle than it’s worth.

Can you guarantee food is gluten and dairy free with no cross contamination??
Do you have a separate pot of butter just for the gluten free sandwiches? Please don't rely on the good old fashioned standby of jacket potato and Heinz beans. After 6 years DS is getting rather sick of it.

If you can guarantee gf/df and no x-contamination then I want to know where you are.

Re my post about tolerance for autism, I wasn’t suggesting the OP wasn’t tolerant. I couldn’t tell from the OP. Just that if they were tolerant towards food brought for those with disabilities and allergies, then otherwise they WNBU.

My own DS has autism and he’s become slightly more adventurous with food over time, but as a young child of soft play age he was really over particular.

Having not been to a play place for a while now, as mine are older, thankfully yay, a long 11 years was spent in many a play place. It was just a given that you didn’t take your own food in, I may of taken a bag of teddies or a pot of fruit while they waited for their lunch. However on one trip I saw a family sitting brazenly eating a macdonalds, I couldn’t believe how they quite dared do that

@sharksonmyswimsuit as serious as you take it is as serious as we do. We have separate boards, knives and plates etc. Depending on the allergy depends on how we deal so yes gluten free (if dairy ok) we would use individual packets of spread we have. We also have gluten free pasta with sauces made in house from scratch. We also have gluten free fishfingers etc. If a child does require something like this the only difference is cooking time may be a little longer etc as not using same equipment. We also have a selection of snacks which cater for allergies or pre packaged biscuits and cake bars etc.