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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU about not allowing outside food in restaurant?

312 replies

Gnomesrule · 03/01/2019 17:54

I own a restaurant with play area. We do not allow people to bring their own food. Many reasons including allergies, food poisoning etc and also there is a restaurant so we cater for all food requirements. We do have parties and allow people to bring birthday cakes only, but they are cut and wrapped by us and not eaten on the premises.

We have more and more people bringing their own food especially for unofficial parties etc. Many even leave the wrappers for us to clear, plus mash it into the carpets etc. We recently even had a parent cracking peanuts who was shocked when we told them that it wasn’t allowed (we don’t sell food containing nuts).

Would you find it an unreasonable request to be asked not to eat outside food in a place that has a restaurant?

Also if you held an unofficial party would you find it unreasonable to be charged to have your cake cut and wrapped for you?

OP posts:
Kim240687 · 04/01/2019 21:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pleasedontdrawonyoursister · 04/01/2019 21:23

Oh my goodness some of the entitled people on here!!! Honestly, they will pick holes out of why you say just to cause offence or wind you up, it’s so unnecessary - even on AIBU! I would say no to the cakeage fee, just refuse to cut it up! Say you can’t do it in the kitchen as you have strict cross contamination procedures. If they ask for a knife just say no - obviously that’s a health and safety hazard. I would make this clear on signs around the building and on your website/social media. I have been a cf and taken a sandwich in to some places before for my daughter who has severe food issues, but always purchase everything else from the establishment (crisps, drink, dessert) along with a full meal for myself and my older DD. If at any time I had been asked to remove the sandwich I would’ve taken her outside to eat it because I completely understand the rules! And I can’t believe in this day and age that people still take nuts and nut products into soft play Shock. Sounds like a lovely business OP.

Twinmumuk1981 · 04/01/2019 21:37

We allow birthday cakes as we don't offer the chance to buy one from us. We accompany it by singing, our own provided sparklers and often give a free cocktail to the birthday girl/boy. I would like to think it would encourage a tip. No one is allowed to bring in outside food, the only exception would be sometimes our regular gluten-free guests may bring in suitable pitta which we will grill up, as it's the only thing we don't regularly provide...

fluffiny31 · 04/01/2019 21:44

We had this issue today with a cake. At a soft play. Friend wanted to sing happy birthday to 1 year old with cake. They said we wasn't allowed the cake on the premises. Couldn't book a party as it was minimum of 10 children and she doesn't know that many kids. They eventually let us sing happy birthday in a small room but said we weren't allowed to light the candle as we hadn't booked a party. They then said we weren't allowed to cut the cake and wrap it even though we weren't going to eat it just take it away with us. They were quite rude about it. 11 of us were going to have food there but because of how they handled it they lost out on that money and we ate else where. We knew they wouldn't want us eating it which is fine but to cut a bit of cake up ourselves wasn't too hard to ask I don't think. Especially when there were quite a few of us putting money in there tills.

bourbonbiccy · 04/01/2019 22:01

I think with regards to people bringing in their own food, it should just be a case of asking nicely not to consume it on site or leave.

I really don't understand people who think this is acceptable when you serve food. I do take some snacks for my DS as I don't like him eating sugary snacks or crisps but it sounds like you offer a good range for toddlers so I would not need to use my own.

Although even when I take my own snack for DS i do still order say a side of veg or a bit of Pate for him, so the venue is still receiving something for accommodating him. I have a few friends who run gastro pubs and one has soft play in his portfolio, he says it can be a nightmare for his managers to monitor as the soft play is on an outhouse type building and people show it no respect.

I think it's best just to ask them to leave if they can't respect your rules.

ReanimatedSGB · 04/01/2019 22:19

Excellent suggestion from a PP that you create a 'picnic' section where people can eat their own stuff. The thing about softplay centres is that eating/drinking there is optional anyway, and you make your money on the admission...

Greensleeves · 04/01/2019 23:08

I'm not sure how much actual increase in revenue would be generated by having a hardline "no toddler snacks" rule, although I can see it's a point of principle and must be galling for you.

There must be a certain proportion of your customers who come in intending only to pay for their children to play - no meals/drinks/snacks budgeted for. That is an acceptable use of your facilities, is it not? Even if you would understandably prefer it if every customer bought a meal.

So if you put those customers off (it would certainly have put me off, and my friends) by refusing to allow them to give their children a drink or a piece of fruit, you will be losing customers who were never going to pay for food, but would have paid regularly for play. So you'll be losing money, losing potential long-term custom, and losing relationships/reputation. That seems bonkers, for the sake of a biscuit or a cup of juice Confused

I'm glad mine are teenagers now as this sort of mean-spirited nonsense used to drive me mad.

LyndaLaHughes · 04/01/2019 23:23

Surely if you are allowing people to bring cakes for "unofficial" parties you are also doing yourself out of official party trade. I would ban outside food completely the only exception being cakes brought in for a party organised by you and arranged in advance. I'd put clearer signs up stating exactly that and get staff to verbally reinforce the policy for at least a few weeks.

LyndaLaHughes · 04/01/2019 23:25

Oh and people who don't wish to pay for food for whatever reason are perfectly capable of arranging their visit so it doesn't correspond with meal times given the usual soft play session is 2 hours so I don't support the "I can't afford it" or "why should I have to buy your food" argument. It's not your problem.

Superpooper · 04/01/2019 23:48

Unless you can guarantee a safe meal for my child with an extremely low chance of cross contamination then I'm bringing my food. I would challenge anyone to challenge me about it.

Or you could just eat before going to softplay?!

SilverBirchTree · 05/01/2019 00:26

@fluffiny31 why would you bring a cake if it wasn't allowed and you weren't going to eat it there anyway?

I don't think the one year old would have noticed.

SilverBirchTree · 05/01/2019 00:31

@MerryMarigold I don't think OP should have to set aside limited table space to make a 'cake area' for people who aren't paying for it.

OP is running a business that offers a finite number of services and products. She shouldn't have to provide everything to everyone for no charge.

Nat6999 · 05/01/2019 00:51

When my DS was little we had his 4th birthday party at a local soft play centre, invited 20 guests, paid a per head price for play & food. We were allowed to take our own birthday cake & wrapping to go in party bags that we had provided. In each party bag I had put a tube of sweets, pack of colouring pencils, a small drawing pad & a yoyo, the party organiser asked for the party bags, I handed them over, 5 minutes later she returned to say that the bags couldn't be handed out by them due to health & safety, I asked why & was told it was due to the pencils. If I wanted to hand them out it was at my own risk, this was health & safety gone mad, the bags were to be handed out as the children were leaving, not played with inside the centre. We never went there again, it had been our go to place on a Sunday morning or if it was raining, we must have spent at least £80 a month there over the previous couple of years.

abacucat · 05/01/2019 01:02

I suspect some of the replies on this thread is why so many soft plays have crap food. Basically it must be hard business wise to put the time and space into providing a decent menu and to deal with parents who still want to bring in their own drink and food. Just providing the usual crap food does not take much staff time and requires only a tiny kitchen, so far less investment.

Vivianebrezilletbrooks · 05/01/2019 01:48

YABU. If they can't buy a cake from you then it's cheeky to not allow them to eat their cake there.
The charge is fair for cutting if they're not buying other food from you and for foil to wrap the rest of the cake to take home but wrapping it so they can't eat it there..nope.
Restaurants in the US won't let you eat your own food there at one time, not sure now I think so that's not BU.

Vivianebrezilletbrooks · 05/01/2019 01:52

Oh and the nut ban is a good thing. You need signage up for that.

TheDarkPassenger · 05/01/2019 01:58

I don’t think charging to cut a cake/not letting people eat it there is good customer service after they’ve presumably spent money on meals for everyone.

My last hotel used to make people sign a waiver if they were bringing their own food in, I guess they got tired of people trying to get money out of the place by saying they got poisoned or whatever! (People will try anything for a free spa day- believe you me!) but they could get away with it because it’s a multimillion pound resort and people would do anything to stay there

Raisinbrain · 05/01/2019 08:33

A lot of people on this thread seem to think that restaurants are free, warm places for allergy sufferers to sit with their friends. They’re really not. Of course it’s frustrating to struggle to find somewhere to eat out, but it’s not realistic to expect a free seat to eat your own food.

This!

You’re running a business. You have no obligation to cater for anyone’s allergies just as they are under no obligation to come / buy your food. It sounds like you have a great range of food to cater for lots of diets which I’m sure your customers appreciate. If there’s really nothing for them to eat then their options are to not go or to eat first.

fluffiny31 · 05/01/2019 08:33

@silverbirchtree
We didn't know the cake would not of been allowed. The cake maker delivered the cake to the soft play as she was attending. It saved doing an extra trip. As I said we weren't aware we weren't allowed to take it. The mum had asked the previous week about it all no one told her no cake was allowed. And she wanted to cut the cake so the guests could take it home as most kids take a piece home after a little party/small gathering. We didn't want to take the business away from the soft play just celebrate.

hibbledibble · 05/01/2019 08:43

Not unreasonable to say no outside food, but baby food should be tolerated.

Cake situation is a bit weird. Children want to eat cake straight away. Why not just say no cake with nuts, and include the cost of plates in the party package?

Lillyringlet · 05/01/2019 09:16

So you need to be clear on entry as it is clear this is a key issue and pillar of your business to be a safe place for those with allergies.

"welcome to x - just a reminder that no outside food is allowed due to allergies and health and safety issues."

If they raise any external issues such as a severe allergy, diet, etc then they can have the option of a special wrist band with the items allowed and checked written on it. If it is a baby food thing, give it to the mum and again it needs to be checked and listed. If they don't have a special wrist band and are eating outside food then ask them to leave straight away as they have broken an important rule and risked the safety of others.

If you don't want it on their wrist you can get a table sign for them which you can attach branded paper with either the information printed on or written on. Could even do it on laminated stuff and use board pens.

It should be clear if people are bringing a cake in with a cake box or big bags. Also they may come in big groups or other traits that you can pick up on (if not start a spreadsheet to pick up on trends). Ask them directly if they look like birthday parties that if they wish to have cake it will need to be an inhouse cake or pay for cake age which can be collected as they leave. If caught in with a cake the whole party will be removed immediately.

Other option is that you have a pram and big bag area and lockers - if they try to bring in big bags, which they shouldn't need, that they need to lock them up. Have a staff member between food area and bag/pram area so they can stop them taking in food unless they have a preapproved wrist band. If they need a nappy bag, purse, etc then that is possible but this will stop them accessing food especially bigger items like cake.

Any one making a fuss point to terms of use of the venue and that if they wish to have a cake to blow the candles out, they will need to pay for that to be in a safe spot for fire alarms and to stop exposing those with severe allergies. They can also upgrade now to a "last minute party package" if available which will include x, y and z but in future that it is cheaper prearranged and would be x.

I've been to three soft play places with the separate pram/bag area and it's very successful at eliminating food or external food getting in. It might mean a reshuffle on the lay out but it might work wonders if you can do it.

When it comes to designing things for people you have four options cognitively: stick, carrot, undo or restrictions.

Stick is kicking them out of caught eating external food. You need to be strict with this and always stand by it no matter what "bad reviews" they might threaten you with. Go to the press with stories of "soft play centre trying to protect vulnerable customers attacked online by x" and you will find that you demonised those who are doing it for selfish means but want to protect those under your care.

Carrot is making it easier and cheaper for them to have your food or use your processes. Planned and Last minute party packages is this option.

Undo is not really an option here but it is to do with creating an environment where you can literally undo last action and correct it. You could do this in form of an official first warning that they can then go remove and clean up food, get an allowance wrist band (if relevant) or last minute package etc. Would need to enforce this however straight away literally taking them to the front desk/pay desk /party area.

Restrictions would be putting literal barriers to stop them bringing in bags of food from a separate area for bags and prams with bag checks for those ones going in (much like those at many London venues like tate, shows, etc). Been to a show recently where all bags checked for food and drink and as I had a medical issue I was allowed to bring in my bottle of unopened water. This is much like the "restricted access" windows that appear when you are on a computer etc. You can also spin these lockers and area as an added safety positive - no chance of someone stealing your purse or shopping if locked away! Or unsafe items damaging the soft play. One place asks if you have a pound for the lockers when you come in so it is clear that they must be used - this is a bouncy park so they have to be strict about shoes and valuables going into the bouncy areas, ball pits and soft play.

A mix of them together is you best option but might not be possible. Restrictions will make a huge difference and make it easier for you in the long run but might not be possible due to cost or layout.

I hope that helps. Without knowing a better breakdown of the layout I can't help much more.

manicmij · 05/01/2019 12:13

Lots of play facilities serve food. Unless food brought in is for a small toddler or for a child with a rare allergy YANBU to state no food other than provided on premises. You obviously have tables, do you have a notice on each one about the food restriction. Maybe even add one about a penalty being applied if found doing so eg food will be cleared away and binned or please ask staff if okay to use own food on visit, kind of che king if it is for a baby or an allergy sufferer. Does seem strict but unless you are determined to stamp it out folk will just keep doing what they want especially if they got away with it before. As for cake cutting let them get on with it. Usually wrapped and stuffed in a goody bag by kids anyway. They bring it, they deal with it.

Flamingchips · 05/01/2019 13:04

Cake situation is a bit weird. Children want to eat cake straight away. Why not just say no cake with nuts, and include the cost of plates in the party package?

Cross contamination, most products “may contain traces...” and how do you police that? I make an amazing cake with ground almonds through it - you’d never know it as it just looks and tastes like a normal cake.

PhilomenaButterfly · 05/01/2019 13:20

Not really Lynda. What if my DC wants his or her birthday at a venue but we can't afford a party, we can only afford to take siblings and one friend? The people who can afford parties will still book them.

MikeUniformMike · 05/01/2019 13:28

Then you have the party at home or in the park.

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