AIBU about not allowing outside food in restaurant?

[Gnomesrule]

I own a restaurant with play area. We do not allow people to bring their own food. Many reasons including allergies, food poisoning etc and also there is a restaurant so we cater for all food requirements. We do have parties and allow people to bring birthday cakes only, but they are cut and wrapped by us and not eaten on the premises.

We have more and more people bringing their own food especially for unofficial parties etc. Many even leave the wrappers for us to clear, plus mash it into the carpets etc. We recently even had a parent cracking peanuts who was shocked when we told them that it wasn’t allowed (we don’t sell food containing nuts).

Would you find it an unreasonable request to be asked not to eat outside food in a place that has a restaurant?

Also if you held an unofficial party would you find it unreasonable to be charged to have your cake cut and wrapped for you?

I think anyone who brings food in is being very cheeky as long as there is a good variety on offer.

and

If you offer a good range of food then YANBU

Sorry - no!

Since when does the range of food proferred by OP's restaurant dictate whether 'customers' can use it as a drop in centre for eating their food?!?

I don't think that matters. If OP's so,e offerings were oysters, mushrooms and arctic roll, Imstill think you would be CFs to bring along your own food.

Just don't go if you don't like the range!

The odd Ellas pouch thing or pack of raisins is fine, it's ordering a cup of tea and tapwater for your 4 kids then opening a backpack of food that gets me. I had a family come in with a fucking picnic hamper last summer.

Ah shit. I've just realised I've done this today!! If this is soft play with food, then very different to a restaurant with play area.

We paid for lunches for all the kids and most adults there. One of the mums brought mini eggs and shared them. I brought Christmas chocolate to get rid of share as well. We probably left wrappers on the table. Ooops.

Some tolerance for autism might be appreciated. Some DC with ASD may only eat a very, very small range of foods, eg, only Walkers brand ready salted crisps or McVities jaffa cakes or something. Similarly with serious allergies. These children still deserve to go to parties. Otherwise YANBU.

I wouldn't take food to a soft play, I would expect them to sell snacks suitable for a toddler if that is their clientele, so fruit, boxes of raisins, toddler meals. I wouldn't allow punters to bring cake unless they have paid for your party package but I wouldn't then expect to pay extra to have it cut, or to not be able to eat it there if we wanted. Don't you have a seperate 'party' room or area?
I do take my own sweets to the cinema though, I'm not paying their ridiculous prices for pic'n'mix. On the other hand I would not try to waltz in with a huge bottle of Coke and a bag of popcorn, because that feels like taking the piss.

There is nothing to suggest he op doesn’t have tolerance for autism. What an odd comment

Ds is autistic, with an eating disorder, as I said earlier I would make prior contact with a venue to discuss food/the need to take my own, I certainly wouldn’t expect to be able to take my own!

It's fine to prohibit outside food, with the possible exception of snacks for small children. To the extent that those snacks keep the kids quiet it's to everyone's benefit. I think you should try to be a bit more accommodating about the cake.

We had my son's graduation party at a restaurant and the price per person hors d'oeuvres, starters, mains, coffee, tea or sodas but not alcohol or desert. They were fine with putting the two cakes we brought out on a table with plates and forks and anyone who wanted cake queued for it and cut their own piece. I'm sure they just upped the per head price a touch to accommodate this and other than more dirty dishes to pick up and wash it was really a big additional burden or expense for them.

We put the leftover cake back in the bakery boxes and took them home.

Main reasons for not allowing people to eat their cakes are allergies and food poisoning issues.

Many cakes for eg contain traces of nuts which people don’t consider. Also home made cakes (we have had some that have had hairs in 🤢) we have no idea of what they have in them. If a child eats these things at one of our parties we could be seen as responsible.

On the allergies side of things we cater for pretty much every allergy and on a regular basis. My staff are fully trained and have attended various courses. We also have a book showing ingredients in our food if a customer would like reassurance.

Just to clarify if an official party the cake cutting is included. It’s the unofficial group parties that are causing the issue of whether to charge for cake cutting etc. This isn’t a way of getting more money, more a way of trying to put people off from bringing a cake.

We also have various snacks for sale and healthy options including fruit, houmous and veg sticks etc.

In house made soups, chilli, pasta etc (inc gluten and dairy free).

I'd have a 2 tier system.... 🤣.

If they are buying party food from you I would agree to cutting and serving a small cake included in price..

If they are coming in, and not buying anything I would absolutely charge cakeage.... For about 50-£1.00 per head...

I would also get together with other local proprietors so you all agree the same policy.

When DD was really small (like just weaning) I used to take carrot sticks or similar in my bag for her to suck on, because it kept her quiet while we ate. Similarly I think taking in baby food is fine, unless of course your menu caters for babies.

Is it primarily a restaurant that has a play area though? or is it a play area with a restaurant on the side?

Our eldest (ASD) eats very few things. We have taken food for him in the past, when he was under 5. Thankfully, he will at least eat chips now. If the establishment hadn’t allowed us then we wouldn’t have been able to eat there. Very grateful to those restaurants, and we continue our patronage now and all order full meals.

You need to be amenable OP, you cant possibly cater all allergies, as no food premise can promise this.

You would not have been able to cater for my ds, who cant digest protein, however also had allergies to casein, dairy, egg and citrus...

So on the whole you are not BU, but to make a blanket ban, you would be.

Doesn't always work ringing ahead. DBIL took the extended family out for dinner at a 5* hotel over the Christmas break. As his 2 kids both have serious food allergies/intolerances (as does my 11yo DD) he checked when booking that the kitchen could cater for them. No problem at all he was told.

Until we got to dessert. Whilst the chef rustled up an off menu apple crumble for nut allergic/gluten intolerant nephew, there was nothing at all dairy free they could offer for DD. Luckily I'd taken along some homemade chocolate Yule log for her otherwise she would have had to switch and watch 8 other people tucking into food with nothing on her plate.

But op you are right to be cross with unofficial parties and food ground into the floor. I would always be down on my hands and knees picking up stray crumbs when DD was younger

Sadotter It’s a reasonable size play area with a restaurant.

Adults don’t pay to enter

Sometimes my OH will bring part of meal and will order a side of chips plus a drink because he’s lactose, gluten AND soy intolerant and very few places can cater for all three! or will sometimes bring lactose free cheese in a pot to make a jacket potato if we know where we are going provided jacket potatoes with beans or something. The rest of us will have a full order from the menu. We’d never all come in and eat our own food and not order at all!!

For me it depends whether I can trust your knowledge on food allergies.
If I explain that my DD can't have milk or soya and you say oh no worries we have loads of gluten free or lacto free stuff I'm going to continue bringing what's safe for her.

Last week we went to a party at soft play where the staff took a list of allergies and gave certain children stickers but my DD was still given jelly and ice cream. I had to practically jump over the table and grab it as she dipped her finger in thinking it was safe.

People shouldn't eat their own food in resturants. You don't need to explain.

If you have a play area I assume you sell DC friendly snacks like pom bears etc.

The play area is attracting people that want to have a party a minority of whom are cheeky fuckers that don't want to pay.

I think a cover charge to serve a bought in cake is reasonable. There is cost to you in terms of staffing, crockery and clean up. If you have a party plan I'd maybe include it as long as you can still make a profit.

Do you mean cut and wrapped for party bags kind of timing? I'd just absorb it into the cost. It sounds petty if you're gonna charge X to supervise blowing it of candles, cutting and wrapping of cake. It takes what 30 minutes tops? Minimum wage staff so £4

DS has food issues, it isn't always a guarantee that what is for sale will be suitable, or a packet of crisps costs a small fortune so I do tend to take him a snack but I would buy a meal for me and drinks

Sorry cross post.
If I was confident that you and your staff could safely feed my DD then I wouldn't bring food again after the first time I visit.

In all honesty any establishment that can cater for allergies is a massive relief. I love going somewhere without lugging a pack lunch or seeing my DD's disappointed face.

Only problem with soft play is usually some one's little darling being allowed to cram quavers or chocolate into every nook and cranny.

A wee but unreasonable on the cake front but the rest i can see your point

SleepingStandingUp Cake cut for party bags for official parties is inclusive. It’s for the people who turn up as an unofficial group and bring a cake that I’m considering the charge for.

I think people taking out whole lunch boxes and basically having a picnic is rude but I definitely give my kids a banana from my bag and their own water at softplay. It's €12 in for the 2 of them then if I have a cup of tea that's €14.50. If I have to pay €2 for 2 bananas and €3 for two bottles of water then it's no longer an affordable 90 minutes and I wouldn't go. My local softplay completely turn a blind eye to people bringing their own food as far as i can see though maybe they're stricter in unofficial parties. It seems a stretch to call softplay a restaurant. Maybe the layout of it is relevant.

Sorry for asking the same as a few others but it's still not clear to me - is it a soft play with a restaurant attached or a restaurant with a play area? Do you pay to play or get free play when you eat? It makes a difference I feel

In your shoes I would say:

• no outside food except for birthday cakes (brought in for official parties only)
• blind eye turned to pots of baby food
• sell packs of Pom Bears, Organix veggie stix and other kid / baby friendly snacks at reasonable prices
• cakes for parties to be provided by the parents, along with napkins. Staff member will do the candles, cutting etc. Cake to be consumed at the party or handed to parent to go into party bags as they wish. Cost included in the party booking fee
• people get asked politely not to eat outside food the first time; then asked more forcefully a second time; then asked to leave if they persist. REgular offenders can have the second stage skipped