To rehome my cat?

[FittyCent]

I'm not saying I definitely will and I'm not sure I want to but I'm so fed up of him ruining every nice thing I have and of him being an evil little shit.

Sofas, washing baskets, divan beds, carpets.

He has multiple scratching posts. I've tried the plug in from the vet to keep him calm, no change. Tried sprays to get him to scratch only his things and sprays to keep him away from mine.

I just be minding my own business and he goes into attack mode.

I've now got a young baby and he can't be around her.

At my wits end. So AIBU to be thinking of rehoming him.

For additional info he's 6. Had him since 8 weeks and he was neutered at 4 months as advised. All up to date with jabs and flea/worming.

Its a cat. They're not hard work. Just keep feeding him and putting him out more if he's a pain in the house

IMO putting an unhappy cat down is kinder than ‘rehoming’ to a rescue centre though. That is stressful for th cat

Actually I agree with this. No animal see future. They don’t think “oh I could die tomorrow”. They all live in the here and now.

Some animals get incredibly distressed being in a rescue centre. Especially if they are there for a very significant amount of time. Having them put to sleep, is actually the least way of keeping their stress levels down.

Agree with many other posters on here. If this was a dog people would be screaming for blood. "How dare he scratch a baby! What sort of monster keeps a crazed wild animal around a small child?!" Happens to be one of my favourite quotes from a previous dog thread.

Actually kittens, here is where the OP states the cat has bitten and scratched her child before so do fuck off.

Charming 🙄

Are you sure? A child near me was attacked by a dog in their home a few years ago. Social services got involved.

Of course SS will get involved with a dog, but there is a huge difference between them and a cat.

Op, is there someone you know, without children, who could have the cat to save it having to go to the rescue centre?

Like I said a small dog the same size as a cat? The cat can do as much damage with claws. Why is a cat different?
A PP told the story of what happened to her as an adult after a cat attack, if that happened to a child are you telling me it's not as bad as a bite from a dog? Why are cats allowed to inflict harm but dogs not?

KittensAndCake

You were so determined to belittle the OP and make her feel guilty you deserve a "fuck off" considering you were completely wrong.

@ichifanny I don't have cats. I am a dog person. But it is still a living breathing animal that the OP took the responsibility on for.

I've had a lot of cats in my life. I currently have 4 cats, one of whom used to be aggressive, mostly towards my other 3 cats, though he did used to scare my 2 DDs occasionally as well. (He used to block the stairs; I could always get him to move out of the way but it was very stressful at times.)

I thought seriously about rehoming him. My other cats have always been very friendly with each other and been very gentle, even with my DDs being over enthusiastic in their affection at times.

In the end Felliway did resolve it for me. But we did need to have 3 separate plug-ins and to buy refills regularly, it's not cheap.

I hope you find the right solution. You do need to think about the fact that when your baby becomes a toddler it will be harder to keep her and your cat apart and toddlers can really annoy cats.

i just thought everyone should know that this thread is approaching the mumsnet record for most uses of the word ‘vile’.

good work, everyone!

as for the cat. feliway has turned my elderly ball of knives into a mostly contented member of a four cat household. she doesn’t socialise much, and spends most of her time in her box in the kitchen, and we don’t try and get her to engage any more than that, really.

she was very stressed at one point and plucked herself bald from the haunches down. we went for the feliway and it’s like valium or something, seriously.

we let her be in her own space, make sure nobody is sharking her food (one of our boys is SUCH A FATTY) and bribe her with dreamies and scritches and lovebombs and she is content.

might be something to try, anyway. good luck and godspeed. cats can be such shits but i think it’s a bit late for humans to start complaining about it. it’s not like they ever said they were anything else.

I had a cat that I had had since she was a feral kitten. She was bonkers and as she grew older, started to attack us for absolutely no reason. She had some health conditions that meant she was in regular contact with the vet. She wasn't in pain, and even the vets and vet nurses said she was unusually aggressive.

When I was pregnant, her attacking levels increased. The vet was adamant that she wouldn't be able to be rehomed due to.her health conditions. She was uninsurable and we had spent thousands on her. She was my gorgeous kitty and, aggressive as she was, I adored her.

Sadly, as the aggression worsened, we had to have her PTS at the vet's suggestion, at the age of 8. She was really hurting us and would not have been safe around a baby at all. It was heartbreaking, but the right thing to do. I honestly think some cats are just bonkers.

PS we had obviously tried feliway and behavioural stuff first, but the vets were all adamant that my cat pretty much had a screw loose.

I was devastated to lose her, but human babies come first.

Sorry I can't reply to individual posters.

He is exactly the same with any man too. Doesn't seem to make a difference.

I have been out today and bought him a new scratching tower which is taller than the sofa and with things on it for him to play with.
Have also bought one of the card board scratchers so will see how these go.

I'd feel guilty for a long time if I had to regime him. I had thought about family but I don't think they'd be too keen either knowing his personality.

I'm not going to make any rash decisions that's for sure.

Can PP link to the cheaper plug in please that I could try?

Thank you for kind comments and people backing me up to the horrible ones on here!

@fiftycent

Its so difficult isnt it ? I have 3 cats. Was desperate for the third one but she is in no way a lap cat.

When our lo was just born she would scratch me all the time, i would end up getting grumpy with her but that in turn would get her on the defensive again and the circle continued.

My other cat started spraying every where. Was a nightmare.

When she scratched i used a water bottle spray which helped a little but does little to help build trust. I tried to keep my tone even and not scold her (verbally i mean ) telling a cat off does nothing. After that tried giving allot of attention, when baby went to bed we would spend time and play with her. Same with the cat that was spraying.

We also went to the vet who recommended calmex cat which has worked wonder as well can get it not too bad a price off amazon. She still isn't a lap cat but she does command your attention in more appropriate ways. She does also seem to like my little girl, though i am still wary and trying to teach my little girl not to pull tails etc.

Calmex didnt work for the male cat. I ended up see a herbalist vet who recommended a few drops of cbd oil which stopped the spraying almost over night.it is expensive, but we find it worth it. We have had a blip over Christmas which i think was he to anxiety over changes and tree going up, but was no way as bad as this time last year.

Has your cat been neutered at all ?

Also plug ins didnt work for us :(

Link for calmex cat

www.amazon.co.uk/Calmex-Cat-Stress-Relief-60ml/dp/B008YPQQEW/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1546615108&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX200_SY289_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=calmex+cat&dpPl=1&dpID=21pgXaFaUOL&ref=plSrch

It is £16.99 for 60ml but we find 1/2 ml works fine so one bottle lasts 4months.

A link for pet remedy. This didnt work for us in afraid though, and it STINKS like smelly socks.

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B0043QPL4W/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1546615231&sr=8-3&keywords=pet+remedy.

@FittyCent completely feel you OP.

My male cat was an absolute nightmare, he was lovely one minute and curled up on my lap then out of nowhere he would pounce and not let go from his bite. He had half of Pets at Home in toys but my arm was much more fun!

I was close to rehoming him but so glad I didn't. He's been neutered now and has grown up a lot, I used various tips id read online such as not making eye contact or looking at him when he does it and walking away, spraying a water bottle at him etc and now he's a different animal, he's so chilled out and happy.

I'm not sure if you've said but is your cat neutered?

KittensAndCake

You were so determined to belittle the OP and make her feel guilty you deserve a "fuck off" considering you were completely wrong.

Sorry can you tell me where I 'belittled' OP or made her 'feel guilty'? I have recommended putting the cat in it's own room away from the baby or suggested someone else have the cat.

I feel for you, OP. I have a similar cat.

Have had cats all my life. Now have three (older cat and siblings now aged nearly seven). Boy cat (one of the siblings) is driving me insane. He is neutered but still sprays all over the house regularly. He is destroying a brand new carpet (he scratches his catnip cardboard floor box, and then turns to the new carpets and attacks that too).

He can be lovely and calm, and then turn in an instant and sink his teeth into you. He will beat up all other cats in the area (his sister, our other cat, the neighbours' cats). He loves to hunt, brings in dead rats regularly and gallops around the house loudly.

With hindsight, he'd be a brilliant cat if he lived in the countryside as an only cat. We're in a terrace in a city and it's not an ideal environment. There's nothing much I can do - don't want to rehome or anything and just have to put up with clearing cat pee off walls and bemoaning the destruction of the carpet.

Have tried feliway etc and makes no difference.

Some cats are just twatty.

Cat was neutered at 4 months old. He doesn't spray anywhere and never has so thankfully I don't have that issue.

From how you describe the attacking it sounds like your cat is switching from passive to play or leave me alone mode and you’re not picking up on the signals. If the cat starts shifting position or giving any indication it’s done with being petted then it’s time to leave it or get the toys out ime.
Making sure you play with your cat regularly and they get enough time outside will also decrease ‘attacking’ behaviours as they’ll be pouncing in toys and leaves etc to get it out of their system.
I would also make sure that your little one isn’t stressing the cat out. At that age children tend to just see them like toys and if your dd is grabbing at it, petting roughly or carrying it about or trying to when it wants to be left alone that will equal you having a stressed cat.
Things getting scratched is just part of having a cat imo. We’ve had various scratching posts that have always been ignored in favour of a certain bit of carpet and the side of my bed.
I don’t think you should rehome. I’m assuming that the cat isn’t actually a physical danger to your child as presumably you’d have rehomed before they were born rather than letting it go on for 18months since you say the cat has always been the same. The odd scratch and nip when you’re unintentionally pissing your cat off is part of having a cat imo. You just need to watch for signs that it’s had enough stroking and teach your dd to do the same.

With hindsight, he'd be a brilliant cat if he lived in the countryside as an only cat. We're in a terrace in a city and it's not an ideal environment. There's nothing much I can do - don't want to rehome or anything and just have to put up with clearing cat pee off walls and bemoaning the destruction of the carpet.

Well yes there is something you could do about it and that is to find a cat a different home where he isn't stressed out. Keeping a cat in circumstances in which it is unhappy is cruel. If your cat is spraying everywhere and destroying things, it is a stressed out unhappy cat. Why is it better for the cat to stay in your home? Isn't it selfish to put your needs before the cat?

As mentioned previously the cat will go into a different room most of the time with baby around.

If he does come into the room she tends to ignore due to previous incident.

The attack from him could be me sitting at the breakfast bar with a cup of tea with a friend and he will appear in front of me ready to fight. What am I supposed to do? If I ignore him he will just pounce anyway!

In that circumstance I would get a cat toy that you can throw for them to pounce on or on of those fishing rod type toys you can dangle. Cats will pounce - it’s in their nature - you just need to discourage them from pouncing on people.

Some pathetic replies on this post from idiots comparing animals to children. Would you dumb asses prefer it that people keep animals when they can't meet their needs?! Better all around if the animal is rehomed to someone who loves it and can meet its needs. No need for the amateur dramatic shit

I’m not sure he deserves you. Sorry if that’s harsh. You made a commitment to him at 8 weeks old. Honour or find him a good home (dont sell him on the internet, it’s dog baiters who buy).