That you don't kiss your mate's wife on the lips?

[SheNumpty]

I don't know if this is just me being more reserved than most, but a handful of my husband's mates always kiss me on the lips when they see me. One of them even goes in for seconds when he feels like it.

It's always in front of my husband, and he obviously knows me and his friends well enough to know there's nothing in it, but it still makes me feel a bit weird.

I've been with him for seven years, and married for five with a three year old, just for context - not that it's particularly relevant.

So guys and gals, I'm just wondering if your partner's friends do this to you too? And, if they do, how do you feel about it? AIBU to think it's a little odd?

No way.

Guys and gals???

No. Just a kiss on the cheek. I don't like all this hugging and kissing random people anyway.

Very odd. I wouldn't be happy with this.

Nope. Not normal. Master the art of the cheek flip.

Hah! We have one friend who does this, and I really don't like it because he's a bit of a perv. But we have another who does it, and I don't mind it because a) we've been friends for a very long time and b) I like him (as a friend) and c) I know he's not a perv!

You haven’t learnt to swerve in 7 years? How odd.

No this is not a thing but we do tend to go for one on each cheek.

You can say no, you know. I don't mean that in a blamey way but it's fine to say no, don't kiss me.
We don't have to be polite to people when they're not being polite to us.

Is it a cultural thing? Where are they from?

I have an uncle who does this and I find it really weird, but I think he just does it to family members (not that that makes it less weird, for me, personally). He's British, FWIW, and a Londoner.

@ElizabethMainwaring sorry, bit of a Mumsnet faux par there. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't excluding men from my query, I wonder if any of their wive's friends do the same - I suspect this not the case. I can't imagine the reaction of my friends if I insisted on kissing their husbands on the lips.

I don’t like it when a friend does it to me. It’s too intimate.

What nationality are they?

If you're not willing to tell them to get tae fuck, start eating onions or garlic (or both) before you meet them.

No I think it’s wrong

We're all in the UK. I have honestly tried to swerve, and give them my cheek, but one of them is like a heat seeking missile and literally swerves with me!

They are all nice people, not a single one of them has ever made me feel uncomfortable by being inappropriate. It's just this. I wondered if it was just me. I spoke to another of my friends about it earlier and she's experienced the same so I thought I would canvass a wider audience.

Urgh!

One of DH's friends makes actual contact to kiss me on the cheek. That's too far for me. If he went for my lips I'd smack him! I wouldn't be able to control the reflex to push him away!

Agree with pp just say no!

I think it's a bit weird when grown adults kiss other grown adults, other than their DH/DW/OHs on the lips to be honest.

Unless it's a cultural thing then just swerve them. If it is a cultural thing, explain you don't do that, then swerve.

but one of them is like a heat seeking missile and literally swerves with me

I'd just politely laugh and say I offered you my cheek for a reason, please go for that next time, and leave it at that without making a thing of it. If they do it again next time, then make a thing of it.

I think kissing should be reserved for people willing to have sex with each other.

I'm a man, I don't even shake hands with women unless they offer first.

@gimmeadoughnut123 I've been thinking that making a joke about it to them might be the best way. I genuinely like them, I don't want to offend any of them, but it's just something I would never dream of doing to my friends' spouses so it's strange in my book.

Exceptions for children, I do kiss DD, or at least I used to, but now I have to stay out of range as she retaliates by licking my face.

Could it be an accidental mutual swerve? I managed to kiss my landlord on the lips yesterday - we were both going for the air kiss thing and didn't synchronise

I find the fact that you can't simply say to him 'please don't do that' rather odd. You are all adults. Just communicate.

I remember my exDH being delighted that his friend kissed me on the lips.
Personally, I felt v awkward..but that was irrelevant to him.

Yuck.

@UtterlyDesperate that's hilarious, sorry. I properly just sorted at that, I hope you were both able to laugh about it.

Definitely not a mutual swerve, I considered that and stayed absolutely still one time to see if I was getting it wrong haha. Nope, still straight on the lips.

@potatoscone I'm just too worried about upsetting them, I know that sounds lame. I'm just painfully polite, I always have been.

Am I a gal?

< looks around>