That you don't kiss your mate's wife on the lips?

[SheNumpty]

I don't know if this is just me being more reserved than most, but a handful of my husband's mates always kiss me on the lips when they see me. One of them even goes in for seconds when he feels like it.

It's always in front of my husband, and he obviously knows me and his friends well enough to know there's nothing in it, but it still makes me feel a bit weird.

I've been with him for seven years, and married for five with a three year old, just for context - not that it's particularly relevant.

So guys and gals, I'm just wondering if your partner's friends do this to you too? And, if they do, how do you feel about it? AIBU to think it's a little odd?

Cold sores are the answer!!! Don't go near me, I have a cold sore!!!! (guaranteed to work :-) )

@Bringbackthestrioes Not on the lips, but they do kiss each other.

@apintofharpandapacketofdates it's perhaps just as well, some mind's depths are definitely better left unplumbed.

@DadJoke I'd certainly love to see what their reaction to that would be. Haha

I would absolutely hate that! Totally inappropriate.

No , they’d get an impolite, but jokey rebuff , eg “fuck off I don’t want your herpes”

No one does this to me (fortunately!) Not a fan of hugs and kisses in general, I hate the one where you think you've successfully navigated the air kiss cheek thing then realise they're going for the one cheek then the other rigmarole, I'm already firmly backing off at this point, just so awkward!

@Polskieexpat that's awful, I don't know why people think your belly is fair game when you're pregnant, I suffered similar when I was pregnant so I sympathise.

Seriously, though, it seems very peculiar. My BiL and SiL argue about whether it's OK to kiss their kids on the lips.

I kiss my daughter on the lips, but she's three.

I'm going to go the cold sore route I think, I'm sorry to be disappointingly non - confrontational.

Whats wrong with using the term guys and gals?

@Polskieexpat trust me, it's better that way! Sadly, my landlord is British, so as OP says, I'm just going to have to move

@Toughtips I thought I was being friendly. I think I must have been being "unMumsnetty", it's probably in the same league as "Hun".

Oh right. I don't see how people care enough lol

@Toughtips it's amazing what people focus on sometimes.

It's very strange. I wouldn't have that, they'd only do it the once.

@shenumpty

Very well put. I spent years trying to plumb the depths but kept banging my head on the floor

I don't feel the need to kiss strangers or friends tbh. I barely kiss my parents. Kiss my kids all the time.

A few of DHs mates do, they are life long friends of his, really doesn't bother me at all. We are all quite tactile. I have a close male colleague who I go to work dos with as we live close by. He always holds my hand when we walk to and from the venue. We both have long term partners who neither of us have or ever would cheat on.

That's sounds weird! Has never happpened to me nor my friends. I actually don't like a kiss on the cheek either, but will tolerate it. I'd step back at the appropriate time or just turn my cheek.

No! That would seem very wrong to me
I'd go the cold sore route or announce that I'm just getting over a cold

Yes there are a few who do this! I always feel a bit weird about it but never say anything

We all do this in our friendship group and family.

I'm not surprised to see those posters taking issue with 'guys and gals'. Ignore them, SheNumpty, I don't mind what terms posters use. I personally like 'M'duck' but, another time.

I've done that accidental lip kiss with a colleague. He's half my age, was leaving the company - and I think he left at warp speed after that.

Generally I'd rather not be kissed or touched. I was in a minibus with the office team coming back from the Christmas lunch and my boss put out her hand and put it on mind. Without thinking I whipped my hand out from under. I think she was a bit shocked.

Does anybody else do a body swerve manoeuvre when they see a likely hugger coming towards them? I dislike being hugged so much I tripped up the stairs in my effort to get away rom them. I need a tazer!

I kiss my two female friends on the lips and one of their husbands. We've always done this and it's no big deal.

But there are people who would make me feel uncomfortable if they did this ....it has to be mutual.

Nope, never had this happen!

Do they kiss you on the lips in front of their wives / girlfriends? Or just when it's your DH there?