Not to allow dd to spend this Christmas money in this way?

[flythewindmill]

I find dd (10) very difficult to buy for. She doesn't really play with toys, though often asks for shitty figures and playsets she won't ever play with and there are so many clogging up the house, soon to be in landfill.

She loves gaming, but it's a struggle to ever get her off it so I didn't want to encourage that. She loves dancing and, after gaming, her favourite pastime is to put videos of various singers on and dance along. She was in a dance club last year and seemed to be doing really well but we had to drop it as she always complained about going, despite enjoying it once there, and her dad always gave in on his weekends and so she missed too much.

She does love building lego, though never really plays with it once it's built. With that in mind I got her a huge set, thinking it would take a while to build at least. We did it together last week over the course of a few days and she really enjoyed doing it. Once it was up she played with it for about 10 minutes then declared she couldn't play anymore as she needed another 2 figures - it was a Friends set and came with 3. She has had all of the girls in one set or another, but of course the ones not included in this set are lost, so she needs to buy more.

She had enough cash given to her to buy the smallish sets she wanted but I said no until she had played with the big one more. She left it and now I have just seen that the big set has fallen apart and she has said she's not building it again until she gets the new figures .

AIBU to say she can't get them? She'll just built them, play for 10 minutes then either declare she needs to buy more or discard them. She's dancing to fucking YouTube again and I wonder why I bother buying anything tbh.

I have two boys who are completely crazy about Lego. For them it's definitely the building, not the playing with the finished item. They will build something according to the instructions, then it's all about modifying it. Adding to it to make it better with bits from other kits. Using parts to make a whole new item.

Lego isn't just about building one kit, playing with it, then putting it on a shelf to be admired. That's a very narrow way of looking at the bricks.

I didn't agree with my child spending £70 more than I would have spent on shoes but she did and that was her choice her money.
Yabvvu

At that age, having some freedom of money is the best lesson. If they blow it on crap, that’s their choice and hopefully a good learning opportunity before they get access to larger amounts. If you want to control your 10 year old’s spending, at what point do you let her have some freedom? In a few years she’ll be spending it on crappy magazines, nail varnish and face masks and you’ll look back and wonder why you said no to Lego.

If she enjoys building Lego (and it sounds like she’s using it as a chance to spend time with you) then there is a great secondhand market on eBay. If she’s not attached to that set then suggests she sells it to buy another one. There are so many ranges there is bound to be something else she wants to build. There may also be local Lego clubs she could go to. You can also get sets of instructions online to build alternative models, so you may be able to reuse what she’s got. It is her money so she should be able to spend it how she wants. How about compromising with getting her to save some then she can blow the rest on whatever? If you think she’s got too much stuff, encourage her to either give some things to charity or sell things on eBay (any money she gets is hers). Lego is a brilliant thing to be into as is dancing around the living room like a loon! Let her be 10.

OP, what do you seek to achieve by banning DD from spending her Christmas money on Lego?

Do you know of some better gift she ought to spend it on that will be more instructive or more enjoyable to a 10 YO? If you did, did you know that DD would want to play with them? It strikes me as restrictions for the sake of them, rather than helping your DD.

I don’t know why so many are being hard on you! No-one knows your financial situation.

I understand fully where you’re coming from. My niece gets a decent amount of money for her age plus a tonne of gifts. Often she wants to buy the next thing, or buy cheap slime, blind bags or general crap. But if she collects something she’s more playmobil she will save for it.

Maybe explain to your daughter about the value of money, for instance how many hours you’ve worked (if you do) to pay for the Lego. I agree that she should be able to buy the figures, and it’s her money and should spend it on what will bring her joy but I do think appreciating what she has already is a good start.

It’s a completely different generation as to years ago and they do spend endless hours on YouTube, and naturally they spend less time playing and more time viewing.

Lego is in the building (and completion). I think you are mean not letting her buy 2 little figures that would complete it. It's a bit like a jigsaw with missing pieces and someone saying you can still see the picture.