AIBU Grandparents taking in refugee

[LittleMissQuick]

As of this week my parents in law have taken in a refugee (through a charity but there vetting process is not great tbh) into their home. However me and my partner are now very uncomfortable about leaving our 19 month old over night. In the day she is never left alone but she sleeps in her own room at night and this is what bothers us. We feel this leaves our baby really vulnerable because they have a large house, don't use monitors and rely on hearing her in the mornings (which we tested this past weekend when we stayed, they dont hear her till she is full balling - another thing we're not happy with now). We are now in the position of telling them they cant have her overnight without us, but we dont want this to stop them offering out there space rooms. But it's a complete stranger we know nothing about and we wouldn't be there. Are we being unreasonable?

Their vulnerability doesn't make them more of a risk to the young child but it doesn't make them less of a risk to the child either.

I'd like to bring up a point that hasn't been mentioned. You don't know what type of trauma the refugee has faced. It's possible that being woken by a screaming child might be an extremely difficult situation for them (for instance, if they traveled with young children who had to be silent for safety or if they've witnessed violence against children). I wonder if they've made the refugee agency know they have a young child who comes over fairly regularly because it's possible the placement might be chosen because they are a household without children.
It's worth showing the refugees sensitivity by gradually exposing your daughter to them and being aware of their response. The refugees and your daughter are all vulnerable in different ways, so it's best to be aware of that.

OP - can you let me know the name of the charity your parents used? I would like to see wI could do something similar on a short term basis.

Many thanks

'Refugees at home' do this. They have a fb page.

I wouldn’t leave mine with their perfectly nice grandparents at that age so yanbu

I wouldn't have left either of mine at that age overnight. Just tell them they're welcome to yours to see DD. There's absolutely no need for them to have her overnight.

I wouldn’t let mine stay with a stranger to me also staying let alone a refugee. At least a stranger gives you a name and you could ask the police to check there is nothing that would make them a known threat and yes I know that’s still not 100% but it’s the same as say a dbs in the fact it flags up no child/violent issues doesn’t stop someone being an uncaugt twat though teacher or stranger. A refugee there is nothing you only have their word.