To think that it's always rich people who insist that money isn't important/doesn't matter?

[KissHerYouBrilliantFool]

As per title really!

DH's friend has a successful business and he and his wife clearly have plenty of money. The wife makes a big deal both on social media and in person about all of the Louboutin shoes and Louis Vuitton bags she buys, and the expensive holidays they go on, and about the fact that their children attend a private school, yet she is always sharing Memes on social media about 'collect memories with your child, not stuff', and 'children need your presence not presents', and always says things like 'I'd give someone my last fiver if they needed it. Money doesn't matter to me in the slightest'

Likewise I have just seen this evening on Instagram that an 'Instamum' who is clearly pretty well off financially (nice clothes, nice holidays, private medical treatment etc) is absolutely up in arms because someone sent her a PM saying that parenting is far easier if you have money like she does! She is protesting rather too much and is insisting it's not easier for her, but there is no doubt that money makes things easier in general!

AIBU to think that it's always rich people who insist that money does not matter? AIBU to think it's a bit patronising that they say this?

@Xmastinseltown
I am totally with you on that sentiment!

Money indeed does not make anyone a better person!

Yep. Money matters an awful lot when you have none. It's easy to say it's unimportant when you have plenty of it.

Totally agree OP. When you have cancer and your landlord decides to sell your house and have to move but can’t afford anywhere because rents have gone up, money certainly matters then. Far better to be ill in a house that you own outright!!

For all of those been strangled financially and those with sickness.

Your health is your wealth, but when you have bad health and no wealth it is all consuming.

Yanbu. Money buys choices and security.

Once you've got the bills paid and the basics covered and above a certain level of security it seems extra money doesnt always bring extra happiness . Big money brings its own problems and I have worked with some very unhappy rich people , for whom the money has caused more stress than anything .

Money buys choices and security.

Quite. By some of the standards of people talking about their six figure incomes on MN we are not "wealthy", but are more than comfortably off. It gives us choices about work, choices about housing, choices about everything. Paradoxically, knowing you can afford to tell your employer to get stuffed and walk out makes you much more tolerant of shit your employer does.

Of course money matters if you don't have any, but many people don't want more than they actually need.
Some people are greedy and want more and more, others are happy being poorer because they believe money doesn't buy happiness.
All the money in the world won't make you happy if you are ill.

If you have money, though, you can afford to take better care of your health. You can afford private healthcare rather than having to wait years for a referral/appointment. You can afford better quality food if your illness is the sort that can be treated or at least managed better with special foods. You can afford to pay for domestic help eg cleaner, taxis. If you are physically/mentally unwell and on benefits/minimum wage, you just have to get on with it.

reanimated

I think it depends on the person and their situation.
We are all the above you mention, including one min wage and we don't struggle for anything. Dh went to A&E at 5.30am had an operation and is home now. Has a strict diet, and between us we paid for 3 taxis.
Maybe it's a struggle for others, I appreciate this but we feel rich and don't struggle.

I think when you have money and can pay bills and do things without worrying then you are able to appreciate the things that money can’t buy.

Last years study indicated that income above £150,000 a year didn't make people happier

So let's all think about happiness once we all have that income

Money is incredibly important. People that think it isn't have no concept of what it's like to be unable to afford to have your child in hospital (due to car parking costs) - like someone I know.

You need enough money to attend to your basic needs but after that the extra money doesn’t matter here or there. A £200 dinner isn’t really going to make you happier than a £20 one. Stuff is nice to have but it’s not what matters long term. I don’t think anyone is saying you don’t need any money at all just that sometimes you have enough and chasing after the latest bag, bigger house, newer car isn’t worth it. A bit twatty though if you are buying all the above then saying money doesn’t matter.

I have never known anybody who is short of money to say that money doesn't matter. I have only ever known people who are comfortably off,or wealthy to say that. Incidentally,I have an ex who was ALWAYS short of money (drinking and gambling,but that's a whole other story).When I said that I got the got the impression sometimes he the was only interested in my money he said 'Money is not important,I don't care about money',then in the next breath say 'Lend me a tenner'. Right......

All the money in the world won't make you happy if you are ill.
People who are well off have a higher life expectancy and lower levels if illness. That is because of issues like access to decent housing that is not damp, less stress, being able to retire early if your health is poorer, access quickly to private healthcare, etc etc.
Certainly I have seen people with chronic health problems who are not ill enough to get PIP, make their health worse by having to work.
Also in the older generation you still have plenty of people suffering from industrial diseases caused by work and most of these people are not well off.

And I have a chronic health problem. If I was well off it would make my life easier.

Money buys choices and security

Completely agree. For us having money is not about “stuff”, it’s about the ability to choose a different option (school/area/job/medical care) if we are unhappy with what is available. And having a cushion if something goes wrong. And being able to help our children out in future if they need it.

I don’t understand people with a high income who choose to buy a big house and a flashy life and have high debt levels, they don’t have the main benefit of money IMO.

Having money also saves a lot of stress and arguments - life is a lot less stressful if you can just get a new boiler if yours blows up. Money worries contribute to a lot of divorces I believe.

I don’t understand people with a high income who choose to buy a big house and a flashy life and have high debt levels, they don’t have the main benefit of money IMO.

When I read about lottery winners buying huge mansions all I can think of is the upkeep. I'd buy a modest house. And carry on working, though with a large win I'd consider going part-time. Not that it will ever happen as I'm too sensible to waste on money on it.

Completely 100% agree with you op.
It’s very easy to sit back and say money doesn’t matter when you live in a good area with access to nice schools. You can cook fresh healthy meals for your children and they have access to extra curricular activities.
If you lived in a poor and run down area, where you feared crime, your kids barely benefit from their education because the schooling is so poor, you are relying on cheap Iceland microwave meals and food banks, money would seem almost everything because it would be your ticket out of there.

Deprivation is well known to impact on a child’s development.
Of course money alone isn’t everything, and you don’t need to be ‘ritch’, but without access to a safe area to live, good schooling and healthy food, sadly so many children just don’t reach their potential.
It makes me angry how dismissive some more well off people are towards the barriers faced by the poorest in society. shite like ‘presence not presents’ is easy enough to spout, whilst conveniently forgetting some kids will have parents slaving away in a zero hour contract, minimum wage job and benefit from neither their parents presence, or their presents.

The people on my FB who share those kind of memes (memories and presents etc) are generally less well off. I roll my eyes a lot mainly because it is just virtue signalling.

Bluntly, I'd feel sorry for her and assume she wasn't very smart or possibly grew up in poverty.

Why do you care?

I don't have a lot of money and don't think money makes you a better person. I do think it's important to be able to live and don't understand the "money doesn't buy happiness" rubbish. I think being to buy what I like without worrying about rent/bills would certainly be a happy occasion.

I grew up well off and then poor after my dad had an affair (or 6) and my mam kicked him out doing car boots every weekend and selling all our possessions to pay the mortgage and still loosing the house sucked!! So I'd say money certainly does make a difference.