To think that it's always rich people who insist that money isn't important/doesn't matter?

[KissHerYouBrilliantFool]

As per title really!

DH's friend has a successful business and he and his wife clearly have plenty of money. The wife makes a big deal both on social media and in person about all of the Louboutin shoes and Louis Vuitton bags she buys, and the expensive holidays they go on, and about the fact that their children attend a private school, yet she is always sharing Memes on social media about 'collect memories with your child, not stuff', and 'children need your presence not presents', and always says things like 'I'd give someone my last fiver if they needed it. Money doesn't matter to me in the slightest'

Likewise I have just seen this evening on Instagram that an 'Instamum' who is clearly pretty well off financially (nice clothes, nice holidays, private medical treatment etc) is absolutely up in arms because someone sent her a PM saying that parenting is far easier if you have money like she does! She is protesting rather too much and is insisting it's not easier for her, but there is no doubt that money makes things easier in general!

AIBU to think that it's always rich people who insist that money does not matter? AIBU to think it's a bit patronising that they say this?

Flaunting it on social media is very vulgar and if material things didn't matter to her she'd not do it. The memes are just crass and low brow.

Of course money matters, almost as much as behaving responsibly around it.

She sounds awful.

I actually think the opposite. I think rich people or those accumulating lots of wealth can get pretty obsessed and money really matters.
My younger sister is very well off but she is always comparing herself to others, she will go on an extravagant cruise and meh only notice what wasn't right.
My brother is loaded from saving every penny, he knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. They live counting money. Would rather have money in the bank than bring their DC to a gp.
I really don't have much money, I have enough though the kids are fed, clothes, the house is warm, this year I do intend to build some extra savings but money doesn't consume me.
If it was a choice I would love loads but I have to be realistic, there is no point wasting my mind on if only.

Yes I completely agree that money doesn’t buy happiness. Many very rich people can be utterly miserable.

However being poor doesn’t make you happy either. At least of you are rich and depressed you have one less thing to worry about.

I think it is better to say that material positions don’t make you happy.

Of course money matters, of course you can be rich and miserable.

One of my favourite quotes is from Burt Reynolds “I’ve been miserable rich and miserable poor. Miserable rich is better”

Very few people with money choose to be without it and as no one is making them keep it, they must derive some pleasure from it.

I have had hard times with money and hard without and the ones with money were 'easier' for want of a better word.

Remember a girl at university who emptied her bank account and gave it to her boyfriend - "money isn't important, I'm a gypsy at heart". Of course money wasn't important to her - her dad gave her £5000 a couple of days later.

Much of it is guilt talking.

I know mum who prides herself on parsimonious Xmas presents for her kids and yet she spoils them at all other times.

Eg huge outdoor swing and climbing frame is something we and our friends would give at Xmas etc. Or new bikes, scooters... Computers... She gives it all out all year then at Xmas preaches to everyone about the same things op 😂😂

Emerald I know loads of people who are obsessed with it too. Literally feeling pained, paying for parking when they could park 3 miles away and walk for free. Stressing over 5 pound sale top and whether they need it and taking it back.

Or drilling down over small change from take away and constantly talking about keeping car at one speed to keep costs down.
. These people have several houses, owned outright, huge incomes from rent and jobs.. Few out goings etc... Very cushy... But I wouldn't take on that mantle for all their money.

Perhaps a more charitable way of looking at it is that these people recognize their material possessions are not their most precious belongings?

Then why do they always go on about their possessions – and invariably refer to 'the Range Rover Vogue' or 'my new Louboutins' rather than just ‘the car’ or ‘my shoes’?

Nobody is saying at all that rich people can’t value their families and non-material possessions such as health, and life’s simple free pleasures like a beautiful sunset – some of the richest people are glad never to have to worry about money but otherwise just see it as a practical tool like anything else – but when people talk about nothing else, it’s very telling

Presumably what the instamums are telling you is that despite their wealth, they are unhappy.

Nail on head, IMHO..

She never preaches though, just lives true to her beliefs.

I don’t know your friend – but I like her! What a kind, well-adjusted person she sounds.

Money doesn’t buy happiness though. Money can buy protection from misery (having a warm house, food etc) but it doesn’t buy happiness.

I agree. Money does matter but equally not everything of value is financially expensive.

I've worked with a good few students who are possession rich and attention poor. They are immaculately turned out with all the right kit, but I reckon some staff members know more about their lives and feelings and friendships than their parents.

Equally, I've worked with very wealthy families who've believed in 'presence over presents' and refuse to spoil their children. Their children have benefited from the security of a wealthy home but haven't been bought off with possessions.

I was raised to believe that pursuing money wouldn’t make you happy, but that it’s a hell of a lot easier to deal with difficult times when you are comfortably off vs poor.

It’s not fashionable to say money matters, but having been sole breadwinner, making a decent wage & not having debt except mortgage helped immensely during that time.

I'm not rich, and money isn't important.
Having a healthy, fulfilled life and being happy is more important than anything.

What most people mean when they say that money doesn't matter (although they quite probably don't realise it) is that an EXCESS of money doesn't matter.

Is it that terrible if you can't afford a takeaway or a meal out this week/fortnight/month? Not at all.

Is it frightening if you have absolutely no food whatsoever to give your children and absolutely no means of buying in even some economy-range pasta, rice, bread, veg or beans until you receive your wages/benefits/other expected money in three days' time? Very much so.

I'm not rich, and money isn't important.
Having a healthy, fulfilled life and being happy is more important than anything.

But how do you define rich? Do you know where your next meal is coming from? Can you afford to pay for travel to get to a place of employment and thus to pay the other bills? In no way a dig at you personally - just ruminating.

I'd definitely say that having loads of money doesn't necessarily make you happy (sometimes the exact opposite); but not having enough to meet your/your family's basic needs makes you upset, miserable and quite probably permanently scared.

Moneyatters am awful lot when you have no idea how you are going to feed your kids next week, let alone top up your electric and pay for your dcs school trip.

Money maters an*

"The only people who say ‘money doesn’t buy happiness’ are people who’ve never known poverty."

"Money makes life easier"

Both of These!

It doesn't buy happiness - but it eliminates a lot of the things that make people stressed and UNhappy!

Your friend and the "instamum" are just plain hypocrites! The types who'd be the first to complain if their income was suddenly much less!

Poverty exacerbates ill health (mental & physical), stress, poor relationships etc

Some people genuinely don't realise they're the people many of us refer to when we talk about rich people.

Just a thought.

But I've grown up in an upper working/ lower middle class family and my parents own two properties and are retired early. Another family member is definitely well off, but never had children. And the common things about them all, are that they scrimp every single penny, go on about money saver ideas, shop at Lidls and Aldi regularly, and don't shut up about money all the time.

I didn't follow their footsteps and have had it so hard. But I'm much more easily parted from my money. Ie, I have a friend who is worse off than myself who I refuse to take fuel money from when I take us anywhere. Including when it was somewhere she needed to go, not a day out. It's not that the money wouldn't have been beneficial to me, but I see the bigger picture in a different light.

Where as if we have to go anywhere with my mum, she usually says we should use my car and goes off on one about her pension.

Money can’t buy happiness.

But it’s easier to be happier in warm clothes that fit, without bailiffs at your door and with food in your children’s tummies than without.

It’s easier to raise happy children if you are actually there to raise them and not have to work all the hours.

It’s easier to raise happy children when their parent isn’t il or depressed due to money worries or inadequate living conditions.

You can be unhappy in designer clothes, whilst sitting on a tropical beach sipping £100 cocktails. But it’s a different kind of unhappy and it’s usually easier to change.

I agree with you, money does matter. We all have our problems, health/relationships etc. But money can make it better or easier. If I won the lottery I could do so many amazing things, like travelling the world etc, paying for private healthcare. If I was poor I’d still have my problems and if I was rich it could make my problems a little better. You can’t get buy in life without money, nothing is for free. They say money doesn’t buy happiness but how would you actually know unless you do have millions of pounds? I could win the lottery today, but doesn’t mean that I’ll suddenly make friends or become beautiful but i would be in a better position than what I’m in now. It’s better than nothing.

Because you realize your problems haven't magically disappeared because there is another couple of zeros when you open your banking app.

I don't know, about half my problems would disappear and I'd have the mental space to work on the other half. In the grand scheme of things I don't even need that much money to fix those problems, but I don't have it and am unlikely to get it so there we go.

I have always placed happiness over money

I believe if you obsess or chase money it will run away from you.

A friend chose money over happiness.

If she had chosen happiness then her life would have been much better Instead after putting up with an abusive relationship she has ended up with probably less than if she had just carried on working and met and married an ordinary guy.

When i chose happiness I forfeited a roof over my head. I didn’t have a bean but it was always the right decision

Maybe (hopefully!) the people you’re taking about on social media are just having fun with the excess money and recognise that there is more to life than money. (Yes pulling at straws).
But agree with webuiltthiswho said it’s excess money that doesn’t matter (although highly subjective on what’s classed as excess) as no-one’s happy when they’re cold, wet and hungry.

Been skint, now comfortable.

No comparison.

When skint I was still always so grateful for all of the wonderful non material things in my life.

However, the feeling of cold hard dread in the pit of my stomach when we couldn’t make ends meet/the car we relied on to work broke down and we couldn’t repair it..... Terror-unable to sleep, considering begging relatives-horrible feeling to be that dependent / believing yourself to be that incapable.

There is no comparison.

I am still ridiculously grateful for the non material things in our life.

We’ll never be rich but being comfortably off is like being able to breathe for the first time in years.

A whole weight of worry has been lifted and I can smell the roses 😊.

Enough money to survive on buys you security and that is actually priceless!

The health and happiness of those I love is still (and will always be) my number one priority but money makes everything so much easier.