To ask what the age gap is between your first and second child...

[jayne310]

Just that really .. I have a 5 year old and been trying for another baby for a while now. But I'm abit worried about the age gap now if I get pregnant say this year ? Is it a big gap ? I dunno. There's two years between all my brothers and sisters.

2 years 7 months between my 2. By the time mat leave ended with my youngest, eldest was getting 3 yr old funding at nursery so didn’t have to fork out full childcare rates for 2 dc.
They are 2 academic years apart (eldest now yr2 and youngest in reception) and I take most of my annual leave in half terms and holidays, plus now they are older and a bit more independent GP’s are happy to look after both on inset days etc so apart from the odd day at holiday club and one afternoon of after school club there are no more big childcare bills.
Obviously the age gap between dc isn’t always in our control as per pp above mentioning secondary infertility. I also have a close friend with 2 dc: Ttc for their dd1 took ages, so they ttc for dd2 when dd1 was just 6 months assuming it would probably take 18 months or more again, but fell pregnant straight away.

13 years.

Age gaps are meaningless in terms of whether your children will get on. It’s personalities. There are 18 months between DB1 and me. We are NC. DB2 and and me (almost 6 year gap) are great together.

Similarly DHs closest sibling in terms of friendship is his eldest sister who is 13 years older than him but they are very similar personality wise. Whilst he is friendly with his closest sibling in age (2 year gap) they only see each other and big family events and don’t make an effortless to speak to or see one another. They played together as kids but as they got older they became different.

The age gap may seem big when they are little but as they get older it will seem smaller. For example when they are 21 and 26 or 30 and 35.

From personal experience I don’t get the angst over having two kids two years apart that some people feel they have to do. It may make a difference when it comes to taking them to Disney and whether they can get on the same rides or whether they’ll play together on holiday but in the grand scheme of things their personalities and how you treat them will determine whether they’ll be BFFs or not.

2 minutes for my dc.
My dsis has 12 months between her first and second and 25 months between her second and third.

4 years between 1 & 2, 20 months between 2 & 3. Same story as a few others - multiple mcs when trying for 2, so cracked on asap after that for 3, stopped bf, one period and pregnant again
Going from 1-2 was a breeze. 2-3 was unbelievably fucking hard work, still is sometimes (youngest coming up to 9mo). But, the point - 5.5yrs between 1 & 3 and they adore each other. Baby absolutely lights up for her big sister in a way she doesn’t for anyone else. And life would be lovely, calm and fun if it was just those two. You will love the next one whenever they arrive. There’s pros and cons to any age gap.

Just under 4 years between my two dds.

Eldest dd likes to think she's mum to dd who is now 20months.
But littlest absolutely adores the ground her big sis walks on.

My second is due in a few months. There will her 2years 3months between my son and this baby.

I think there are pros and cons to every age gap. And FWIW, I'm closer to my brother who is 5 years older than me than my other brother who is less than 2 years older :)

My DH (23 years old) has a 5 year old brother. Age gaps aren't important imo

About 70 seconds. Not what I planned but there we are!

I wouldn't stress at all about it. You could have children with a 9 month age gap who despise each other and refuse to play with each other. You could have children with a ten year age gap who are partners in crime. My DH and his 5 year old brother get on brilliantly, he hasn't spoken to his other brother in 10 years. The age difference between DH and his estranged brother is 18 months.

We have a 4.5 year old and are trying for baby number two .. looking like a 5.5/6 year gap for us too.
My husband has a 5 year gap with his youngest brother and they get on well so I'm hoping it will be okay.

7 years. As someone said, there is benefits and cons for different age gap. Mine never argue DD is a great help, but is a little bit more difficult to make plans and had to take one kid each and do different things a lot. But now that DS is 2, it's getting a lot easier.

I mean my husband and I had to take one lid each!

Kid!!

18 minutes

@onwardsand your daughter didn't take to him yet you went on to have two kids with him?

15 years, then 17 months

Ten years.

It's not the same as having DC close together, of course it's not but it does seem much much much less stressful than my friends with 2 under 4 or so.

It's hard in some ways because I wanted that close gap but actually the variety is quite nice, DS1 adores and dotes on his brother and we get to have time with both of them (at least at the moment). I feel really laid back about loads of baby stuff my friends are stressing over because I have the longer term perspective - it really doesn't matter. And the benefit of seeing 10 years of changing advice etc. In fact we had originally planned to TTC again straight away because we wanted to have that small age gap experience too but I'm really hesitant now because I love what we have and I can't imagine changing it.

Come back in 3 years though when they are 3 and 13 and I'll tell you how awful it is

FWIW, when we first discussed TTC DS1 would have been around 6 and I worried that 6/7 was too large an age gap (it took us a long time to conceive) and I spoke to a few friends who had 5-6 year gaps, thinking that was a large gap, but now their DC have grown up 5-6 years really doesn't seem like a massive difference at all.

5.5 years. Longer than planned due to ttc being harder and a mmc at 13 weeks. However, it is perfect. They play together beautifully. I have a 7.5 year old and an almost 2 year old meaning I still get to have a baby as well as watching my first born become an independent little person. Dd1 loves being a big sister and dd2 idolises her. I wouldnt change a thing.

2yrs 7 months between first two and then 4 years between 2 & 3 :)

3 years and then 6 years. Eldest child and youngest child have an almost ten year age gap.

The two with the three year age gap fight like cat and dog but they dote and help out with youngest one and find him cute/funny rather than annoying or a rival. I personally prefer longer age gaps, I couldn't be doing with a baby and toddler all at once. If I could go back I would have given it longer before number 2. If I was going to have another one (which I won't!) I'd try and aim for around the time youngest starts school. But everyone is different. You can only do what works for you and make the best of it.

My daughter was 5yrs and 6months when her brother was born.
It took us a long time to fall pregnant, we had a huge amout of IVF but I actually became pregnant naturally after we gave up having another.

The age gap really works for us, I’m able to give both time. Baby while dd is at school and then dd when baby naps.

Dd loves him and he totally adores her. Although he’s 9 months and is only starting to try to crawl so it could all change once he starts to touch her things.

7 years between my DC. There was a thread on this only a couple weeks ago if you do a search.
FWIW there are 2 years between my DH and his DB. They are not close.
7 years between my DD and DS. They are very close and site on each other

9 years. Very easy as the eldest was very independent by the time the youngest was born- does not need that much help with homework or daily routine.

17 months and I find it really hard. DD1 is nearly 2 now and I’m hoping to reap the benefits in the future. The last 7 months have been a slog. I feel I would have enjoyed DD2 more if we’d had a bigger gap. 5 years+ has many advantages.