Asked to leave

[Mumsymum90]

Basically, 6 years ago I found out was pregnant with my son I was seeing someone and I had an ex as well. I was unsure on who the father was so I ghosted him as I was scared and embarrassed. I had the dna test done and the other guy come back as wasn’t the father I was going through a lot of stresses at the time so I left it.

Until, this year I suddenly felt I had to be honest and tell him things got complicated as we still had feelings for one another took 6 months after reconnecting I told him and he blocked me with no answer so all contact was lost I didn’t want anything from him just for him to know..

Rewind to Friday I bumped into a friend who I didn’t realise was with his brother and his bros gf. I didn’t think it was wise to start a conversation so ignored them until my friend tried to introduce us all and his gf said. “ I don’t care what you have to say to us. You’re not welcome over here I suggest you fuck off!”

I moved along as I wasn’t up for drama but his bro looked so uneasy and like he had something to say but couldn’t because she had him on a lead pretty much.

I left in the end as I wasn’t there for drama but have I done the right thing? Could I of said more? I understand his family are more than angry with me and so is he hence why he blocked me from every root possible when I told him.

Also, a part of me thinks he may of already known?

Just feel I need some enlightenment and happy new year!! Xxxxxx

Is this the same relationships you were talking about here?:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/3388096-Blocked

Although I'm still slightly confused

Just seen my typos!

Bonking both not blinking bitb...

So you were seeing two men at the same time, let's call them John and Tim.

You find out you're pregnant.

You ghost John, thinking Tim was the father of your child. Tim took a dna test, and isn't the father.

John, who didn't know he was a father, and who may not have known you were even pregnant, goes on about his life for five more years.

You then decide John should know he's a father. You decide the best way to do this, after five or so years, is to start seeing him again, in an in and off way, for about six months, during which time he still doesn't know that your child is his.

After six months, you text him to tell him.

You're now confused as to why some of his family/friends may dislike you.

Is that it?

"Ex and other bloke, blinking bitb around the same time."

Huh?

Cross-posted.

Seeing as I don't understand most of your post can I just say it sounds like you were in a public place and you weren't asked to leave you were told to fuck off.

HTH and Happy New Year

Oh I read this differently

I read it that OP was seeing man A but also still carrying on with Ex (man B).

When she fell pregnant and wasn't sure who the dad was she cut ties with Man A (the new boyfriend). DNA proved that he (Man A) wasn't the dad so she just moved on. (I am not clear as to whether the Ex is aware he is a dad at this stage or whether he had any role ongoing).

At some point she felt the need to let Man A know the reason she cooled off (effectively that she was pregnant and confused about paternity). We don't know whether he knew she was pregnant at all in the previous six years. He was fucked off and wasn't interested in any kind of dialogue so again, she moved on.

Recently she bumped into the brother and GF of Man A - who didn't want anything to do with them - presumably because she had ended things with Man A with no explaination and had been two timing him anyway. The pregnancy is almost a side-show in this scenario.

What I don't understand is whether Man A was ever aware of the pregnancy or Man B has been involved as a father.

I'm not even 100 percent sure my summary is correct, but it's my understanding.

If this is correct OP, move on. You should have explained the reasons for the break up and been transparent with everyone and you weren't. You can't turn back time, Man A does not have a child (and presumably never thought he did??) If this is the case, just focus on being a good mother and being honest if you ever find yourself in another serious situation where people's lives and feelings are at stake .

Good God, this has given me a headache.

What I think the OP is saying is that she founded out she was PG early into a new relationship and didn't know who the father was. She ghosted her ex and allowed the new guy to think it was him because she wanted it to be him, but she had no idea. The new guy wanted a DNA and it wasn't him.

Exit New Guy.

OP didn't tell the her original ex that it was therefore his baby, for whatever reason - who knows.

Now, six years later, she's got back in contact and after reestablishing a relationship of sorts, she's dropped the bomb that it's his child. He's shell-shocked and upset and has blocked her and his family are all furious with her.

Is that it?

do you write the story lines for Eastenders?

very confusing, I hope you come back and clarify, although if you have just told EX he is the father I can see why they dont want anything to do with you

Not. A. Balls.

I have read the original post around 5 times and I still can’t make heads or tails of it

C8H10N4O2 has the story on that thread link with other man eliminated so it’s easier to follow plus easier to see what a muppet the OP is...

And I feel REALLY sorry for any child caught up in this sort of tawdry nonsense. As far as I am concerned, unless you are Bridget Jones and your biological clock is seriously close to clapping out, (and even that is not as heart warming or as funny in real life as it looks in a film) you never go ahead with a PG when you don't know who the father is, pinning all your hopes on the one you want it to be. What a shit way for your child to have to start their life.

So was the first (October) thread the full story or did she leave out the uncertainty about the paternity. Or is this the full story (albeit impenetrable to understand)

Right so there really only one man to worry about.

You blanked him when you got pregnant, then fit in touch 6 years later and told him he has a son. He is ignoring you. His family is angry. None of this should be a surprise really.

Ok - other story is clearer. You told this man in October that he has a sox year old son and he cut of all communication with you.

You were in the wrong to keep the paternity of your son a secret for all these years. This man had a right to know his son and a responsibility to contribute to his upbringing. But more importantly your son had a right to his father.

Fast forward to now, this man need to set aside his hurt Andy anger and be a dad. He should ask for a partnity test so there is no doubt.

While his family has every right to be angry, the girlfriend displayed a total lack of class by speaking to you like that. It is none of her business.

I would write a letter to the dad, apologising for keeping him in the dark, and asking him to take an active role in his sons life. His family might never forgive you for the last sox years, but they are also your sons family and their priority should be the child.

Is the OP returning to explain or just enjoying the ensuing confusion

OP, you sound unhealthily obsessed with this man. It's a bit scary. People don't gaze into your eyes whilst driving past your house or block you on everything then create an extra public profile in their own name to admire you from afar. They just don't.

What did you want from this thread?

So how long did the other guy get strung along for, before the DNA results came in?

Hmm..ok I didn't AS back far enough. So second thread OP, my mistake, first thread linked above was actually your first post.... Why do you think he already knew about the baby being his?

myrtleWilson left out the paternity bit there, left out the sexting bit here...

who's sister she was?

WHOSE

What sister?