To give up on socialising - I'm just so bloody awkward

[Butteredghost]

I feel like all my social interactions are just so awkward I can't bear it.

I have a few friends but not super close ones, but that's OK, within the normal range I suppose. I try but I never really hit it off with people. I used to have an issue where on the rare occasion I was out, I wouldn't be able to think of anything to say, literally. Think silence for hours and people commenting on it. So these days I sort of force myself to say anything that comes to mind. I also make a list before any event of conversation topics from the news, etc.

But I just come off so awkward I'm cringing even as I'm speaking. And cringing 100x more thinking about it later. I was kindly invited to a NYE party and there was a foot in mouth moment every ten minutes. And not big things like asking someone if they are pregnant and they aren't. (Although someone asked me and I'm not - adding to my humiliation). More just small things, everything I say is just boring, not funny or weird. Someone talked to me for a few minutes, then said "good chat" sarcastically in bored voice.

Today visiting my in laws it was similar. It's either sit literally in silence or have everyone like

And before someone says, this isn't about to high expectations on NYE. The party was a small one and I don't care about it anyway specifically, but it's any time I go out or speak to anyone, including at work.

Should I just give up and become a hermit?

I’m socially awkward too and have no close friends really. It gets me down but it’s really nice reading these threads and realising there are many of us out there.

I get what you mean about someone looking awkward. Body language etc. I feel I give off that awkward body language.

But your examples does seem bad at all. I feel like their reactions make it awkward. Not what you actually said. Judging by their short answers, they’re not putting much into the convo either - don’t put all the pressure on you. It’s a two way thing.

It’s hard I know but I have definitely improved with age.

I wish I met people like you in real life.

Therefore the wankers are the ones making you feel awkward .

I'm the same OP- totally socially inept! Find it really hard to make friends as just come across as weird, dull and stupid ....and all my attempts at small talk descend into stagnant inanities as my mind goes blank

Can we start an awkward wierdos support group?

I’m the same, I’ve given up. I replay conversations over and over and cringe, I can recall my awful conversations from over 20 years ago and frequently do. When I do I sigh out loud so loud anyone else in the house asks if I’m ok.

Your not alone op

MargotLovedTom1 That's true, I much prefer to talk to people who are just plain nice and I'm not really interested in subtle putdowns. If that makes me boring then so be it.

Thanks everyone for all the good advice. I'll try it out. And for all you fellow awkward people, hopefully we'll meet out there someday, I'll be the one telling the waiter to enjoy their meal

SaveKevin
I replay conversations over and over and cringe, I can recall my awful conversations from over 20 years ago and frequently do.

Oh gosh this is so relatable. Don't you hate when you say something and straight away you think "damn, I'll be cringing about that one for years".

In response in those situations say ‘oh sorry to hear that’ then ask a question to move the conversation on. (Have you a large family? Do you have any pets? What was your favourite place to visit? Etc)

@MsRosewater, yes please! I want to join a support group!