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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that 2 hours isn't that far?

257 replies

SkylarkMA · 30/12/2018 21:26

An old friend thinks that 2 hours is a long way to drive to meet up for the day (it would be 2 hours back as well).

I don't think 2 hours is bad if it's only very occasionally and if this is a half way point between us.

Would you drive 2 hours to meet an old friend a couple of times a year? Or AIBU?

OP posts:
MarinaMarinara · 31/12/2018 06:14

On my own or with DH - not too far at all. With my baby and toddler also in tow that two hours each way would easily become three and at that stage it is a bit far. For context we did a day trip with similar amounts of travel (7 hours in total due to traffic and a half hour stop each way) over Christmas. It was to visit an elderly disabled relative and I’m that context I would and will do it again but both children were frazzled and bored and pretty unhappy by the end of it. Public transport (which would involve driving to the station, three trains and a bus or taxi, then the reverse to return) would have been worse.

Batteriesallgone · 31/12/2018 06:32

Aus is different because the roads are different - wider, straighter roads with less traffic. It’s the traffic that is exhausting, generally. Doesn’t surprise me that she’s a city person - her daily experience of driving is probably very different to OPs and her 2 hr drive would likely be more stressful with more traffic.

Grannyannex · 31/12/2018 07:24

An hour and a half each way is managable. But two each way would wipe me out.

Grannyannex · 31/12/2018 07:27

However meeting halfway is ideal. Or she could come to you

Original poster
SkylarkMA · 31/12/2018 07:36

@BlueBinDay wow how patronising are you 🤣

OP posts:
WishIwas19again · 31/12/2018 07:41

Pre DC yes we did it regularly. In summer with the longer days and a nice outing/day trip included yes. In winter with our two young DC no, because travelling in the dark and just going to meet for a couple of hours for lunch and quick walk etc with only a short window of daylight then not worth it

Original poster
SkylarkMA · 31/12/2018 07:41

I think, perhaps, this new mother is just being a bit over confident and hasn't thought the whole thing through.

Seriously? And you call ME patronising?! How utterly rude!

OP posts:
Original poster
SkylarkMA · 31/12/2018 07:43

And yes maybe I will change my mind when I have a toddler, I probably will, but I don't at the moment so what on earth has that got to do with anything?

OP posts:
MaxTeyon · 31/12/2018 07:43

Jesus wept, my commute is sometimes more than a 4 hour round trip and that’s with a full day of hard work in the middle. 2 hours each way to see a friend is nothing.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 31/12/2018 07:46

Depends...two hours to get to the seaside, not far. Two hours to get to MILs...too far....

This!

I wouldn’t mind driving that far, but I’d want to spend at least as long with the person as I had on the journey. So a long lunch and a walk/activity would be worth 2 hours each way.

cheeseismyspiritanimal · 31/12/2018 07:49

For me, 2 hours would be fine. My MIL lives 2 hours away and I used to live 2 hours away from my own family (live closer now) and I very regularly drive to visit. My DD made the journey with me from birth and luckily both children travel extremely well as they've been used to it from such a young age.

I'd be happy to make the journey for a friend but know that not everyone would. In which case, would they just never see the friend anymore?

Evennow · 31/12/2018 07:50

I would willingly drive 2 hours each way to see a friend. If coming back after dark on unfamiliar roads I would look into staying over somewhere - no problem with distance, just tiredness.

IvyFluids · 31/12/2018 07:51

Two hours isn't far IMO. I drive that to go out for lunch. Admittedly I am Australian so it's not that far for me.

starabara · 31/12/2018 08:02

I had no idea there were so many people who stayed so close to home.

I drive a 6 or 7 hour round trip for work several days a week.

I genuinely had no idea, and feel very naive that people honestly wouldn’t drive 2 hours for friends for the day.

Most of our friends drive further than that for competitions, most weekends, many of them have children like us. Surely if that’s your life then that’s what your children become accustomed to? You build in more breaks of course, but my DC have been travelling distances like that from 5/6 weeks and much further. I remember driving an HGV lorry with three of my horses, alone for two hours in each direction for a jumping class qualifier when my daughter was 9 weeks...we had to stop on the way there to feed and stretch, but that’s ok, you just factor it in.

PicaK · 31/12/2018 08:50

I think your friend is cheeky asking you to drive 4hr one day and 4hr the next. I think you underestimate the horror of dealing with a baby who has had routine disturbed for two 2hr drives in a day and yes they may sleep in car but not in cot that night.
My solution would be to throw money at it and rent a bnb house for the night/weekend mid distance. Or meet up camping in the summer.

fiorentina · 31/12/2018 08:57

That’s not far to have a nice day with a friend.

2isabella2 · 31/12/2018 08:57

I don't think it's too far in principle and did it regularly pre children. Now i would only do it for a special occasion because I'm tired at weekends and don't like having to manage their naps and sleep (or lack of it). However you're the one with the baby and happy to travel!

My children have always been good travelers too - we started very young going to visit family (but staying over!).

AgentJohnson · 31/12/2018 08:58

Everyone’s different and not everyone likes or is confident at driving. I don’t drive and am reliant on public transport and I am happy to take on long journeys but I know many (especially people surgically attached to their cars), who wouldn’t.

It doesn’t matter what you or what we think, your friend isn’t willing, end of.

BitOutOfPractice · 31/12/2018 08:59

I regularly drive long distances for work so this works both ways for me

On one hand I'd drive that no problem aa I'm used to it

On the other hand the thought of driving 4 hours on my day off makes my heart sink to my boots.

RedDwarves · 31/12/2018 09:05

Two hours is fuck all, but I'm Australian and that's a reasonable daily commute here.

I couldn't get over how many Brits thought we were mad to be driving around the UK. You can get from one end of England to the other in the same time it takes to get from one end of my state to the other (and it's a small state, comparatively). Grin

CripsSandwiches · 31/12/2018 09:05

I'd do 2 hours on the train no question, I'd probably do it driving too but it would give me pause for thought. I'm not the best driver and find that much driving in a day exhausting.

AgentJohnson · 31/12/2018 09:14

It comes down to personal preference and hers is not to drive for that long.

Apple103 · 31/12/2018 09:38

I wouldnt do it in a day. To me that's an overnight stay. I definitely wouldnt have done it with ds. At 2.5 months he was in no way an easy baby like yours. And now as a toddler we wont even try it. Hes brilliant on a flight though.

abacucat · 31/12/2018 09:39

No way would I want to book a hotel because of a 2 hour drive. If she does not want to drive 2 hours, she needs to come to yours and stay over in a hotel. Otherwise, forget about someone who can not be bothered to make that much effort to see you.

marvellousnightforamooncup · 31/12/2018 09:42

I'd happily do 2 hours.

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