to think that 2 hours isn't that far?

[SkylarkMA]

An old friend thinks that 2 hours is a long way to drive to meet up for the day (it would be 2 hours back as well).

I don't think 2 hours is bad if it's only very occasionally and if this is a half way point between us.

Would you drive 2 hours to meet an old friend a couple of times a year? Or AIBU?

It's funny - I'd do it in Australia, no worries, but in the UK I probably wouldn't.

Wouldn't bother me, but I'd choose a lunch date rather than dinner.

I've got some really close friends who live miles away.

I would not drive for two hours there and two hours back to meet a friend. I would invite her to stay over for the weekend at my home. I would arrange to stay over at a halfway hotel for a meal and drinks(have done this a few times!) or I would arrange to come and stay overnight with her. Or in a hotel. I would not do a 4 hour round trip in one day to see a friend, however dear he/she might be.
There's got to be a more sensible way of doing it.

I have a friend from teenagerhood who I see a couple of times a year.
We live 200 miles apart. We book a hotel somewhere in the middle, have dinner and a catch up, spend a boozy companionable night then go home in the morning. That suits us both nicely.

It's ridiculous to me, that one would spend 4 hours driving to spend a short time with a friend, when, with a bit more planning, you could make a proper evening of it.

I agree with OPs friend that a 4 hour round trip isn't very rewarding.

I

I don’t regard a two hours drive as too far at all

See, I don't know if we're all singing from the same page.
A two hour drive isn't all that far, I agree. But a two hour drive to have dinner with a friend and then a two hour drive back home again is just too much.

I regularly drive four hours to visit my daughter, then another four hours home again 2 or 3 days later. I think it's just the 4 hour round trip in one day. All the pleasure is taken out of it if you've got a 2 hour drive ahead of you. Such a massive waste of resources as well.
All that petrol usage for virtually nothing much.

It's fine - I'm about 2 hours from the coast and take the kids down for the day a couple of days a year for a nice daytrip - I'd be a bit hurt if a good friend thought that too much effort.

Any healthy adult that could not be bothered to travel that far to meet me, I really wouldn't bother with

We're talking about a whole 4 hours travelling here, in one day.
I'd happily travel 2 hours one day, stay over, then travel 2 hours back the next day.

I don't have any friends who would want to do that themselves, or reasonably expect me to do it. We usually just meet in the middle and do an overnight.

They are all healthy and they still bother with me!!

All this has been said upthread, but:

I know people in proper big countries (the US and Australia) and they think NOTHING of driving 5 or 6 hours and then driving home again. I think that's about living somewhere with a proper landmass.

For myself, I'm happy to drive up to 4 or 5 hours (and have done so, AND longer), but wouldn't be keen to repeat the return journey on the same day unless I absolutely had to.

Ideally, I wouldn't want to drive more than an hour or so for a lunchdate.

Having said that, I had a meeting with a cousin a few months ago, we REALLY wanted to talk about a particular family situation (we'd been emailing, but both of us wanted to discuss face-to-face), so we ended up both driving around 3 hours, having a conversation over a pub lunch and then both driving back. But because we were meeting to talk about such a high-stress family situation, I don't think either of us begrudged the time/effort in meeting up. We met because we both needed techniques to deal with something very difficult.

He's a baby... he goes in a sling. Looks around at the world around him. Attaches himself to my boob when he's hungry etc. I go out regularly for the day with my son. Do some people just stay home all the time?

No, of course they don't. They just don't have such easy babies as you appear to have. We all go out as much as we can manage with our babies. We work within our own limits. What an arrogant and patronising post. When your child is a nightmare toddler, write back and ask for advice. And refer back to this post.

If your baby is still young and small enough to be encompassed in a sling - lucky you. You really do have a rude awakening ahead if you think this is as hard as it gets :)

Oh the joy of knowing this mother who is being a smartass is going to eat her words in 12 months time. Not that I'd wish that on anybody.

We do it a couple of times a year to meet up with friends and family, so I'd have no problem with it.

Perfectly reasonable.
Leave early, good day out, leave straight after tea to come home.

I drive 1 hr 45 mins each way to visit my mother for the afternoon three times a month .

I did it every single week for 18 months ( on top of a full time job and having a child to take care of). So in theory I would be absolutely fine with a day visit occasionally like this, although as I already do it almost every week for.my mother, in reality I really would not want to do it for anyone else on the same week

2 hours to me just seems like nothing. I've spent that on my phone when I cba to do anything else

It might be nothing to you, but to the next person it's a lot. Capiche?

Sometimes, DP will drive to get her, stay long enough for a cuppa, then come back to ours, bringing her with him!

That's not just a visit though. That's going to collect her. I drive 4 hours to collect my mother, have a cup of tea, and then drive 4 hours back. But that's her here for the week.

A four hour round trip in one day is completely different.

She she wants you to drive 8 hours so she doesnt have to drive 4? Stuff that, selfish mare!

It's a perspective thing. When I lived in the UK, that was a huge distance and would be done once or twice a year at most. Now being in Aus- I'd do that several times a month to visit a friend for lunch, and it wouldn't be seen as a 'big' trip.

It’s ok to drive that much I think. Had a friend who lived about 2hrs from us. My DD (then 4) and I used to visit her for a day trip. Although we always had amazing time with her as she always planned something fun for us. There was time when we gave bath for my DD ,put pj’s on, brushed her teeth in the evening then drive home. So it can be easy done.

Two hours is nothing, we're 45 minutes from a big supermarket. We have to drive at least 3 hours to see friends, it all depends on your mind set. Convert the distance into km, they go faster, 100km always seemed nothing when we lived in Germany, 62.5 miles seems much further!

I think it's unfair for me to have to drive 4 hours in a day in one go but for her to say 4 hours divided in to two is too much..

I think she's right. You can stay over and have a very nice time.
She is entitled to her opinion. You think 4 hours driving in a day is fine, she doesn't. What makes her wrong and you right? Are you the Mileage Goddess who decides how far is too far to drive in a day?
From whence did you acquire your superior knowledge?

By all means tuck your baby under your arm and sally forth for x numbers of hours on the road, but please don't expect everyone else to subscribe to your own judged idea of what is ideal for all.
One size does not fit all. One's own personal plan does not suit all and indeed will not work for others.

I don't really know why I'm bothering to post because the OP is obviously convinced that a 4 hour round trip to have a coffee with a chum is absolutely normal and fine. I can live with that concept but I'm livid at the utter and complete waste of fuel. There's not much benefit to the baby either really. Crossed fingers on whether it will sleep during the journey. Wonder how old it is?

I think, perhaps, this new mother is just being a bit over confident and hasn't thought the whole thing through.

She she wants you to drive 8 hours so she doesnt have to drive 4? Stuff that, selfish mare!

PyongyangKipperbang

She's 92 and she's never had a driving licence. She has one of those walker things with wheels and handles, and if the authorities were aware, she wouldn't even get a licence for that.

She failed her driving test more than a dozen times from age 25 to 60. I'm happy for her not to drive.

Where I live, everything is at LEAST 45 minutes away (ok, everything GOOD anyway)..

I regularly go two/three hours up the country to see a friend up north for a few hours.

When I lived less rurally however, I would have thought a 2 hour trip one way to see a friend was a fair bit, yeah.

No, I'd do an hour but not two. I don't have that good a friend that I'd do two hours drive for, mainly because of the cost.

I get way too car sick, half an hour is my limit, and i generally really dont like to go anywhere more than a 15 minute drive

Pre child and in my 20’s, no problem. Now, no. I’m far too ill.

Suggest staying over. She’ll love the experience of sharing a Bedroom with a tiny baby.

We regularly drive 90 minutes to see friends. It's not too far to do every now and then.

I drive 2 hours or more each way to visit family, visit friends, go for a walk by the sea, go for a walk in the hills...with radio, audiobook, music, drive time doesn’t seem long. I actually find any form of non routine travel liberating, takes me away from the day to day. I particularly enjoy trains and will do a 3 hour journey each way to visit family in London (car, train, Tube).