to think that 2 hours isn't that far?

[SkylarkMA]

An old friend thinks that 2 hours is a long way to drive to meet up for the day (it would be 2 hours back as well).

I don't think 2 hours is bad if it's only very occasionally and if this is a half way point between us.

Would you drive 2 hours to meet an old friend a couple of times a year? Or AIBU?

I think only the person doing the driving can say if it's too far or not. Once upon a time I'd have driven that easily and more, but since having DS I've suffered from chronic sleep deprivation and just couldn't cope with it. My DD lives 2.5 hours away and I can just about cope with that as I stay over so don't have to do the return on the same day.

@PhilomenaNewYearButterfly leave at 7:30. Get there by 9:30, spend 8 hours together, leave at 5:30, get home for 7:30.

It's a long day but we are both confident drivers in our 20s who have known each other for 20 years, and are financially secure.

2 hours to me just seems like nothing. I've spent that on my phone when I cba to do anything else.

My DP had a 2 hour journey to secondary school every single day.

@BollocksToBrexit that's completely understandable. If you have health problems that prevent you from driving safely for long distances then I say don't attempt it.

My friend simply thinks our of principle that 2 hours is too far to drive each way and that I should visit her and stay over as she lives in a city with hotels and I am rural (very rural) with no spare bedrooms and a DH who works silly hours.

I think it's unfair for me to have to drive 4 hours in a day in one go but for her to say 4 hours divided in to two is too much... 🤷🏽‍♀️

We haven't fallen out over it. Just wanted opinions...

If no young children are involved it isn't too far but I'd be less keen in the winter than summer. With young children the reality may be far longer than two hours.

@Ameliablue I just disagree. I think it's good for them to get used to travelling and if I do a feed before leaving and set off half an hour early that's plenty of time for a nappy change. I think 2 hours for a young child is nothing. I did 4 hours when he was 4 weeks, stopped every 45 minutes and he was fine... I've done it again since!

Surely there’s a hotel within an hour or two of you.

She can stay there and then you can drive to meet her. You do a drive you’re happy with, she doesn’t have to drive 4 hours in one day.

What's the problem with driving alone with a baby? You can't get them out of their seat when they're driving so why would having someone else there make a difference?
Someone else can entertain them, give them the dummy, check they aren't actually choking, ( sometimes it sounds that way when driving and you can't look to see what's happening) see if they are being sick.

So she wants you to travel always and do overnights? She could do a night in the lounge and you alternate travelling if you did overnight visits (should not always be on you).

Is she saying this works best for her, if you dont do the leg work all the time then no meeting? In which case the 'depends on how good friends you are' really comes into play.

I replied before reading that you had a baby. If you're baby is fine to travel that that's fine and your choice. I have a baby with additional medical needs so a two hour journey is a big deal and not worth it for a day trip.

I would happily drive 2 hours each way for a full day out. Lunch only id expect to meet in the middle so 1 hour each, each way.

No way would i have done either with a 2mo as I was so sleep deprived.

Depends on which roads - I drive that far to meet my parents to drop off the dog then drive on to the airport another 2 hours and it's pretty stressful due to the traffic as I approach London, whereas I drive to my friend north of here over 3 hours without a problem as there's rarely a point I slow below 70!

@Ameliablue that makes perfect sense that you can't travel that far then. Must be very difficult.

Also even with healthy babies 2 hours could easily be far longer and stressful with a screaming baby. Some journeys they'd be absolutely fine but others were horrendous, young children can be unpredictable.

I routinely travel 2-3 hours on public transport to meet friends or go to gigs/clubs, then back again.

But you are comparing oranges and apples. If you are traveling on public transport, then you aren't driving. You are (unless having to change several times) sitting on your backside, relaxing.... reading / playing on your phone / snoozing / whatever.

SkylarkMA - Maybe you've had a particularly easy baby then. Which is nice, for you. Not every 2.5month old just lies happily in a sling all day after (and before) 2 hours each way in a car.
With dc1, in particular I wasnn't getting a lot of sleep at that stage. Probably not a good condition to be setting off to concentrate on driving for 2 hours with baby whimpering away in the car seat.

Thing being, you have asked people if they would. The responses (I haven't counted) seem fairly evenly split. Some people would, others wouldn't. Arguing with the people that wouldn't doesn't change the fact that, for about half the people responding, it wouldn't feel worth it.

@Ameliablue very aware that I'm extremely lucky to have an easy baby. I may eat my words if he changes!

Not particularly far. I have to spend much more time than that driving for work.

As an Aussie, not too far at all! But I've noticed that here in the UK the same people who would happily fly to the continent for the weekend, wouldn't spend a few hours driving somewhere. Completely bizarre to me.

This.
I spent several years working in the UK and was always amazed when I said let’s go to X, or I was driving to Y and people reacted with absolute horror and made out a 2hr drive was akin to going to the ends of the earth. Weird.

It is quite far but I would do it (if I were allowed to drive - I'm not). My dh has been known to drive at least that far to look at a guitar but he wouldn't do it for any other reason. I can just about manage to persuade him to go somewhere about an hour away but that's his limit really.

@BackforGood I think I've been pretty reasonable with my responses which of course are only my opinion.

very aware that I'm extremely lucky to have an easy baby. I may eat my words if he changes!

I do also acknowledge this!

He is very young yet and would probably sleep easily for a 2 hour journey but still preferable to break up the journey. In a few months though things will change.

Far too far. My rule is - 2 hours and I need to stay over.

Ameliablue Sun 30-Dec-18 23:27:44
He is very young yet and would probably sleep easily for a 2 hour journey but still preferable to break up the journey. In a few months though things will change.

At which point her friend will be being even more unreasonable expecting her to do two four hour drives, even if they're either side of an overnight stay.

I live 2 hours from San Francisco, and 2 hours from Lake Tahoe. We love driving to either one for lunch or just to spend the day. We do it all the time, no big deal!