To give back a half eaten cheese board?

[Chaosandmadness]

Ended things with my DP last night. Understandably he is a bit upset and has been messaging me today having a rant. He has asked for everything he has given me to be returned so I intend to bag it up and deposit it by his house under cover of darkness tonight. AIBU to also return the half eaten cheese board he gave me before Christmas? When I asked him what to return he just said "everything"

Goats cheese is great with lentils, or with a salad, toast and some honey. I appreciate that recipes aren't top of the list of priorities right now, but you know, you started the cheese talk and I'm on a roll.

I disabrie that you should give back the cheese.

Don’t be philly.

Speaking of being on a roll Belenus....

I’d have the goats cheese in a tiger roll, with chilli jam and rocket.

Sweet dreams are made of cheese
Who am I to dis a Brie
I cheddar the world and a Feta cheese
Everybody's looking for Stilton

Some cheese wants to be Bleu, too
Some cheese wants to be Buchette d'Anjou
Some cheese wants to be cubed
Some cheese will be braided by you

Sweet dreams are made of cheese
Colby or Chevre, if you please
I ferment the milk and then I squeeze
Everybody needs penicillium

Mold is better, on the rind
Mold is better, leaves taste behind
Mold is better, cheese is confined
Mold is better, use my enzymes

Some cheese ought to be grated
No cheese should be ammoniated
Some cheese will always be hated
No cheese wants to be called rancid

Sweet dreams are made of cheese
Casein and rennet curdle it with ease
Whey from the curds it eventually frees
The best cheese comes from Wisconsin

@AnyFucker
i used to think that about 'cucumber'

Love that NikiFree, whet did you get that from?

If he wants you to return the small horse you’ll have to hide that as well. Do you know how to mascarpone?

@NigelGresley

The first verse I saw on a board outside a cheese shop in Muswell Hill.

I thought of it for this thread, googled it and found a whole parody song of that Eurythmics song.

The cheese recipes are appreciated. It's a good distraction

What type of cheese is it?

Don’t apologise for eating the cheese.

Legally speaking you could keep all the gifts and re-sell them or do whatever you want with them.

We're not talking here of anything with a value above about £100, right?

That said, in order to get shot of the game-playing fucker I'd probably just give him the gifts back and then block him forever.

I'd DEFINITELY keep the cheese though. I'm not very good at puns like some of these clever posters, so I'll just say "Eat the lot and fuck him" :D

stuff the cheese in his pockets. Maybe it will linger long enough before he finds it.

You have all made me smile whilst trying not to cry so thank you

@NikiFree

LOL, I remember that parody from about 6-7 years back. Foo Fighters wasn't it?

*cheese

It's a really silly word when you keep saying it in your head, isn't it ?

Like toe*

What, like heads, shoulders, cheese and toes , cheese and toes?

Put the cheese in the PS4, and in any clothes or other items you can stuff cheese in, then give it back to him.

RETURN THE GOAT'S CHEESE.

No-one should be subjected to that in their life.

Put it in the bad and accidentally stamp on it so the cheese really gets into all of the other things inside

Would be quite immature

I agree. Gruyere the fuck up.

When I split with my twat of an ex years ago I came home and he had literally taken half of EVERYTHING! Like a lamp set he took one left One
Half of the glasses, cutlery left me half etc
Fukin idiot I binned majority

Have you got a ddog? Let them have a lick before you package it up.

I’d have the goats cheese in a tiger roll, with chilli jam and rocket.

Sounds good.

RETURN THE GOAT'S CHEESE

Philly-stine. Goats cheese is right up there with blue and the really mature cheddar that makes your face sweat.

I've never tried goats cheese so I wouldn't really know what goes best with it but I will give it a try later