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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - New York?

115 replies

Croft1971 · 30/12/2018 16:34

DS is going skiing with the school Feb half term. Whilst he's away DH, DD and I are considering going to New York for a few days to visit friends. AIBU to go without him? I know he'll be away enjoying himself anyway but can't help thinking it's not right. Plus I think he'll be really miffed when we tell him.
TBH the only reason we can even contemplate going is that it will just the 3 of us to pay for so prob wouldn't even be an option for the 4 us until way down the line.

Please tell me i'm being ridiculous and it's not as if he's being left out of it at home!

OP posts:
VioletCharlotte · 30/12/2018 17:46

My parents did this a couple of times. When I went on school trips, they'd go off somewhere with my younger brother. It always made me feel left out and not part of the family. And it never worked the other way, as when he was old enough to go on school trips, I was never asked to go away with them (not that I'd have wanted to at that age!)

AGHHHH · 30/12/2018 17:50

Surely it can't cost that much more for 4 people than it does 3? It's not like he would cost you adult prices. confused

Couldn't the flight alone be an extra £500?

chocolatecoveredraisons · 30/12/2018 17:51

I think that is so mean. And never would I consider doing this.

chocolatecoveredraisons · 30/12/2018 17:51

We've booked flights to NYC for £200 per person. School holidays

IceRebel · 30/12/2018 17:54

Couldn't the flight alone be an extra £500?

Perhaps, but surely the Ski trip will be more than that? Op said the only reason they could go was because it was 3 people. If she looks at dates outside of Feb half term it could end up being cheaper even with all 4 of them.

WeAreSailing · 30/12/2018 17:56

But we do have to go in school hols
and Feb half term is prob the cheapest one to take.

MerdedeBrexit · 30/12/2018 17:57

I'm really confused about why you couldn't afford to take DS with you as well to NY now but you'd be able to in the future? I'm feeling really stupid at not getting this - but couldn't you save the money you might use for the NY trip now and put it against a trip for the whole family to NY in future? Am I adding 2 and 2 and making 3, or what?

Shadow1234 · 30/12/2018 17:57

I couldnt do it. He might be on a skiing trip, but if its anything like the trips at our schools, they are very structured. They get up at certain times, have to eat at certain times, ski at certain times, not exactly the same as a holiday really. I am sure he will feel like he missed out big time by not getting to go to NY with his family!

SheWoreBlueVelvet · 30/12/2018 17:58

I am fretting about this one now.

Can you imagine you all sitting down when he's back and him showing you the photos of " top of a black run" , "bottom of a red run" and endless group shots of his mates in a tiny chalet room.

And then you get yours of his sister up the Empire State building, on a ferry passing the of Statue of Liberty, skating outside the Rockefeller Centre, walking through Central Park....

I can hear you really want to do this Op. Can you send his sister off somewhere for a few days ( friends, PGL) and just do you and DH? Then you can take both kids together with a bit of an idea about how to do it.

CatnissEverdene · 30/12/2018 17:59

I couldn't leave one out.

Even if they were skiing.

NYC is a trip of a lifetime.

AGHHHH · 30/12/2018 17:59

chocolatecoveredraisons

You what? £200?
I am so tempted to look for flights right now!

@IceRebel ah possibly. I've never been on ski trips or anything like that so no clue about pricing. But I wasn't thinking about that part, I was thinking about how adding only one extra person could have cost a lot more. But I see what you mean, if it would be instead of the ski trip then the extra cost wouldn't matter.

Is the ski trip refundable?

AGHHHH · 30/12/2018 18:00

Ooh just saw it's in February I imagine not

Ragwort · 30/12/2018 18:01

My DS is currently on a school ski trip & I just wouldn’t want to be out of the country during this time in the (unlikely) case of an accident.

However ski trips are very expensive & presumably your DS wanted to do this trip? It will cost a lot more than his ‘share’ of a NY trip & I believe children have to appreciate the cost of these expensive holidays. Could one parent go with the DD to NY so the other is home if there is a problem with the ski trip?

Years ago my brothers always went on the school ski trips (I wasn’t interested) but I had a lovely few days away with my mother in Paris.

TacoLover · 30/12/2018 18:01

Seeing as he would be upset not going I think it is unfair. And a big trip like NYC and leaving out one family member I think is mean.

shirleyschmidt · 30/12/2018 18:08

Like PP I wouldn't leave the country while DS is skiing in case something happened, and I also wouldn't leave him out of such an exciting holiday. NYC is one of those destinations where you can't leave just one child out unless they actually don't WANT to go. Sorry that won't be what you want to hear 😬

luckylavender · 30/12/2018 18:08

I wouldn't be so far away when a child was away skiing. I also think it's a little unfair.

PattiStanger · 30/12/2018 18:10

I dont understand the flight times posts above, assuming the OP is in England it's a couple of hours to most European ski resorts and probably pretty easy for a parent to get a flight at short notice. Trying to get back from NY and do the same would be complicated and costly and take 4 times as long. I wouldn't go to NY without one of my DCs as I know they'd all love it but even if they wouldn't the possibility of injury would put me off as I have a friend who had to fly out for her DC, it does happen.

rookiemere · 30/12/2018 18:16

Wearesailing - not sure if you are the OP with a name change. Yes you do need to go in school holidays, but it feels very much as if it's been decided that it must be the Feb half term. It literally takes minutes to have a play around on sky scanner and see when the cheapest flights can be had and it's entirely possible that they could go in a different school holiday and get the 4 flights for the price of 3 so it doesn't cost any extra for DS to go.

It would be very sad for DS not to join the family trip to NY and experience everything for the first time together.

Original poster
Croft1971 · 30/12/2018 18:18

sorry, yes name change fail Grin

OP posts:
AGHHHH · 30/12/2018 18:19

@PattiStanger the poster said they meant from UK to New York would be similar to most of Europe to New York

Tryingbutfailingmiserably · 30/12/2018 18:19

Totally do it. He's having a great time skiing.

AGHHHH · 30/12/2018 18:19

I was confused too

Original poster
Croft1971 · 30/12/2018 18:21

Just seemed like a good chance to go. We saw it as the perfect opportunity for DD to see her sorely missed friend and for DH and I to spend a bit of time together, whilst DS was having a great time skiing.

OP posts:
PattiStanger · 30/12/2018 18:21

I'm missing something AGHHHH, where do flights from Switzerland to NY come in Smile

Original poster
Croft1971 · 30/12/2018 18:23

To clarify, we are in UK!

OP posts: