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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Bringing child with chickenpox to family party

171 replies

Eemamc · 30/12/2018 13:06

Not sure if I am. LO cousin has just got chickenpox so still in infectious stage. MIL thinks it’s no problem if they come to family party tomorrow. We’re staying at IL until next Tues, so not a case of just staying home as party is here where we’re staying. She thinks it’s fine as all the adults have had chickenpox. My LO is 12 months, so I know unlikely to be dangerous, but it just doesn’t feel right to bring an infectious child to a family party. Will be no way of keeping the children separate at party or stop them sharing toys. Am I being unreasonably anxious? I know she will prob get it at some point, but I feel might be better if she were a little older? And an if she does it can’t be helped scenario, rather than basically guaranteeing it. Thoughts?

OP posts:

Redgreencoverplant · 30/12/2018 14:40

We got the vaccination at the local private hospital (just before Superdrug started offering it ). By far the easiest vaccination, no fever or grumpiness or disturbed sleep. Chickenpox has hit nursery several times since but avoided DS and he saw a child with chickenpox two weeks ago but no sign of anything. Worth the money I have to say.

BucketLid · 30/12/2018 14:48

The younger, the better. I'd like my 10 month old to get them. They suffer much worse, the older they get.

dementedpixie · 30/12/2018 14:50

Did you read what i said earlier? Getting chicken pox under 1 year increases the chances of childhood shingles. Is that what you want for your child?

DeRigueurMortis · 30/12/2018 14:54

Bucket is clearly one of the people I posted about earlier who underplay (likely through sheer ignorance) how serious CP can be and that the younger you are when you get it the less likely you are to get immunity - which is exactly what happened to me.

Applesandpears23 · 30/12/2018 14:57

My first child had it at about a year, just after starting nursery and it was miserable for all of us. She didn’t understand. So I got number 2 vaccinated at a year. You can get it done at some chemists. I asked for recomendations locally but you can just look at boots or superdrug website. It is two jabs done 4 weeks apart and it also has to be 4 weeks from the MMR jab I think. Obviously jabs are unpleasant when they are being done but otherwise no issues and hopefully I have saved myself 2 weeks off work which means they have paid for themselves.

Lumpy76 · 30/12/2018 15:01

You should not willingly and knowingly expose your baby to chicken pox. There is very good reason that the majority of the world vaccinate against chicken pox as part of their immunisation programme - it is usually extremely unpleasant and sometimes dangerous! I have 8 children - the youngest 2 I have had privately vaccinated against it. The other 6 have all had chicken pox - 1 (at 10 months old was in hospital for 5 days with sepsis and a temp of 41.) 1, had to be sedated, 1 is scarred, 1 has had it twice despite a really good dose aged 3 and the other 2 had a very unpleasant illness indeed!! Please tell the relatives not to bring the child or go home yourself!

BucketLid · 30/12/2018 15:03

Thanks for the ignorance comment. I'm a GP. Mumsnet really is a hysterical place. Chickenpox is not a serious illness.

DeRigueurMortis · 30/12/2018 15:04

Here - the reality of CP on another current thread right now....

Really bad chickenpox on nappy area. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/3464348-Really-bad-chickenpox-on-nappy-area

Why people seek to underplay this is beyond me.

DeRigueurMortis · 30/12/2018 15:04

Well I'm hoping you're not my GP

dementedpixie · 30/12/2018 15:06

As a GP you should know about the cons of getting it under 1 year then

BucketLid · 30/12/2018 15:06

Equally, I'm glad you're not my patient.

Jaxhog · 30/12/2018 15:07

You aren't being a drama queen, you're being a responsible parent.

This.

thebaronetofcockburn · 30/12/2018 15:08

Chickenpox is not a serious illness.

Wow, sure am glad the peads at the hospital where we took DD1 didn't agree with that.

Jaxhog · 30/12/2018 15:09

Chickenpox is horrible at ANY age. I had it twice as a child and still have the facial scars over 50 years later. They have no right to knowingly expose your LO.

AnnieOnAMapleLeaf · 30/12/2018 15:09

It blows my mind that the chicken pox vaccine is not a standard vaccine in the UK. I am in Canada and both kids have been given the varicella vaccine.

If my children were not vaccinated, I would refuse to allow them around someone with chicken pox.

Divgirl2 · 30/12/2018 15:20

My DH is immunocompromised (transplant recipient) and its people like your cousin who scare me. CP could literally kill him and because people don't think it's that serious they just parade their little infected rugrats around shops and parties and restaurants. "Better to get it while they're young" well...no, not really. Better to not get it at all.
My DS will be getting the vaccine on the NHS at 12 months, but even if it wasn't available on the NHS for us I'd absolutely pay for it.

DoubleNegativePanda · 30/12/2018 15:21

YANBU in the least, well done result.

I'm also not in the UK and the chickenpox vaccine is standard here for which I am very grateful. I had chickenpox myself at 10 months and by my mother's account it was horrendous. I've also subsequently gotten shingles twice and won't wish it on an enemy it's so painful.

People used to think Measles was a "no big deal" childhood illness as well, but thanks to waves of non-vaccinated children it is making a comeback here and has already killed people.

Helix1244 · 30/12/2018 15:38

I think you can still get shingles after the vax.
Thing is the herd immunity is based on kids catching it.
Clearly it is going around anyway (whether op DN or whatever takes their kid about with it).
Especially with a DD in would rather they caught CP as a child (if not vax) then be in the op position if PG having not had CP but having seen DN on boxing day.
Obviously CP is serious for some people. I got the vax because dd1 was very very ill with hfm. It started off lots of illnesses and she wasnt right for 18m. And Cp meant a likelihood of temps and V etc or ear infection which i just couldnt risk.
Dd2 was vax to be equal however she has turned out to be the worst picker so that would have been horrible for CP.
it is like dd1 is allergic to viruses/bacteria as they make her go a bit crazy- even vaccinations.
In some ways hfm is worse than cp (despite no exclusions etc) because they think it can cause T1 diabetes.

chocolatecoveredraisons · 30/12/2018 15:58

My son got it at 16 months and struggled a bit. Some kid didn't want to miss out on Santa and infected every child in the grotto...

My daughter got it at 3 and it was so mild, we were lucky. She was miserable the week leading up to it though

I wouldn't be happy. My daughter had to miss nursery and cancel 2 parties she would have attended. Not worth the risk.

UnicornSlaughters · 30/12/2018 21:04

My daughter has been vaccinated privately. It was two injections if I remember correctly, spaced out across a couple of months. I also had to time it so that there was at least a month between the CP vaccine and usual Childhood vaccinations.

She's already swerved two CP outbreaks at nursery. I don't regret getting her the vaccine at all.

caroline161 · 30/12/2018 21:17

I wouldn't see it as a bit deal and to be honest if you saw them on boxing day then your LO probably has it already and it's just a matter of time. I had it when I was 17 blooming awful and needed 2 weeks off school. Wish my mum had invited and infected cousin round when I was a baby!

dementedpixie · 30/12/2018 21:28

If OP saw them on boxing day (26th) and they only came out in spots today (30th) then they wouldn't have been contagious on boxing day. They are contagious for 1-2 days before spots appear and until they crust over.

SalmonLeBon · 30/12/2018 21:53

If MIL doesn't see the pox as an issue and DH has told her you will leave if his sister comes, will MIL actually pass that message on? Or keep schtum and hope everyone 'forgets' by tomorrow? Or will the sister potentially ignore the request to stay away?

I feel sorry for the child who has pox being dragged out to a party when they would probably be better off snuggled up at home recovering.

Toughtips · 30/12/2018 21:55

So your kid has already been around the cousin?

Chances are she's already caught it. It can take about 2weeks to come out.

So 12months is a year old right? I wouldn't leave.

agnurse · 30/12/2018 21:57

Yikes. Here in North America we vaccinate for chickenpox as part of routine vaccines (it's included with MMR; we now have MMRV - varicella is the clinical term for chickenpox). Don't go.

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