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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be very pissed off at my friend

120 replies

Coldshoulders · 29/12/2018 22:39

Warn you now this is a rant lol.

So last night my old school pal came over for a few drinks, all is well. I started texting some guy I'm seeing and organising for him to come over once my friend had left. My friend got seemingly jealous of me texting and came over and took the phone out of my hand while I was using it and told me I'm not having my phone back until I stop texting this guy. My friend was drunk so I just left it and forgot about it thinking I will text this guy later once my friend leaves. An hour passed and my friend rang a taxi and left so I decided to text her to check she got home safe and I realised I had no phone. So after turning my full house upside down I realised my friend still had hold of my phone and must of taken it with her by mistake. Tried tracking the phone with my laptop but the phone was switched off. Next day my sister calls round and lends me her phone to contact my friend which I did and asked where my phone is. She doesn't have it! Search my house again knowing its not there and once again try tracking it with no luck. I sent a request to lock the phone also. Ring up the taxi firm no phone has been handed in. Got hold of the guy I was texting who thinks I have ghosted him and isn't speaking to me now. I don't have fb so I cant contact anyone through that. My friend apologises and says she will give me 100 on Monday. Had to order a replacement sim which wont arrive until later next week. AIBU to be really annoyed and pissed off? I didn't leave my house so neither should my phone, lost all my photos of my son aswell as the phone and the contacts. And now the guy I was seeing isn't speaking to me either. I just feel soo pissed off right now, top it off my mate is now out getting drunk with her other friends and her phone and I'm sat at home phoneless no way of contacting anyone and need to wait for her to pay for a replacement. I am really upset she even took my phone off me to start with. Arrrggghhh rant over x

OP posts:
Original poster
Coldshoulders · 30/12/2018 12:30

Hahaha some of these responses are pretty funny. I already said I didnt mean to be a twat on my phone but she was also using hers. So I have the answer then it's karma and my own fault for sending a text on my own phone in my own home that must mean my friend was completely correct in taking my personal belonging off me not returning it and leaving me with no contact with my friends and family over the Xmas new year period? Seriously people text all the time she was doing it herself but I'm not as rude to think I can control someone else or what they do or who they want to talk to I'm just rude enough to send a text (which I never got to the send part!) In the comfort of my own home using my phone. We have already established that texting while your friend is drunk on the couch not speaking to you taking selfies and texting herself is rude of me I'm asking if I'm being unreasonable to be pissed off. Because now i have no phone no photos of my son (which I deserve with me being such a cunt) no way of contacting my family or friends because my drunk "friend" didn't want me to text anyone. So if that makes me incredibly rude what does that make my friend? Is this like a punishment for using my phone? My phone basically gets stolen from my home and it's my fault wtf lol thanks to the posters who understand where I'm coming from. Xx

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 30/12/2018 12:30

Oh I don't think the 'friend' should have done what she did. Sadly drink makes many people behave badly.

Strawberry2017 · 30/12/2018 12:36

I don't see what's so wrong with texting when your with your friend, it's one thing if you are ignoring her completely which is rude but an occasional text is not a bad thing.
If you had been texting family or your child nobody would be saying it was rude.
She was out of order taking your phone from your property and loosing it. I would be expecting more then £100 to replace it, full phone cost back if you ask me!

Yulebealrite · 30/12/2018 12:53

I think you should ask for the full replacement cost.

NotTheFordType · 30/12/2018 13:07

@Lougle

As a general rule, insurers don't cover loss. Most policies cover accidental damage and theft. And for a theft claim, OP would need to report the theft to the police and get a crime reference number - and I would expect the police to not really be interested since OP allowed the friend to leave with the phone.

user1andonly · 30/12/2018 13:15

Sorry about the photos of your son Sad

I wouldn't be surprised if it's not still at the bottom of her bag or somewhere in her house that she put it down when she got in and she just hasn't looked properly.

manicinsomniac · 30/12/2018 13:16

She's offering you £100 for an S8? That's nowhere near enough, surely?
Unless you have insurance?

I think it totally depends on the activity, nature of friendship and age of the friends as to whether phone use while hosting is rude. I have some friends where it would often be more a formal, focused visit and I would feel that total attention on the friend is appropriate. But with other friends we're more just spending time together in the same place and wouldn't be in constant communication - phones, tv, laptop etc would be used without a problem.

Also, OP is, I assume, of the generation who have grown up using their phones all the time (I am too, more or less; not judging it at all).
To massively generalise - I think there is likely to be a big divide between 20s/30s mumsnetters who think it's normal and fine and 50s/60s mumsnetters who are more likely to think it's rude. (I suspect people in their 40s are an even split).

Insomnibrat · 30/12/2018 13:27

I think she either flushed it or stole it.

Bet she turns up with an s8 before January is out.

Poodloo · 30/12/2018 13:36

The more I read this thread the more strange it is. I don't agree with you texting your bootycaller while your friend is still there. But surely she needs to properly look for it. Can you go round today? I can't imagine losing my friends phone and not being frantic with worry looking everywhere. Please go round and talk to her.

Lougle · 30/12/2018 13:49

@NotTheFordType Geek Squad cover loss, theft and unauthorised use, which is the cover I've always had if I've had an expensive phone I can't afford to replace.

Hezz · 30/12/2018 13:52

Check the toilet cystern

LittleKitty1985 · 30/12/2018 14:14

I bet she hid it in your house but is too embarrassed to admit it, and when she comes to give you the £100 she magically "finds" it instead

Handprints2018 · 30/12/2018 14:26

She's obviously not bothered or she'd ask you over to search hers or offer help searching yours. If she's in, go over and search it.

Is she even a friend now?

Handprints2018 · 30/12/2018 14:27

Check your freezer and icebox.

Original poster
Coldshoulders · 30/12/2018 14:50

She doesn't live in the same town as me so I cant just go over to hers or I would of done lol. I have checked everywhere possible from the sofa to the freezer the bins everywhere my garden is only small and flagged it's not there. She said she thinks she must of put it somewhere safe but can't rememeber where. She also msg my sister on fb n said she will pay me 100 tomorrow which is better then nothing I suppose. Giffgaff sim replacement got ordered yesterday and said it's been sent out first class so hopefully it will be here tomorrow or Wednesday. The sim has been blocked and the phone has been blocked through imei number so it's no use to anyone. She has now apologised. So will get the money wait for my sim and just get on with things and probably won't speak to her after this. What a night I wish to forget lol I still keep looking hoping I will find the phone but it's not here so I'm gunna have to just give up. Xx

OP posts:
shpoot · 30/12/2018 16:21

She can afford to pay for a taxi to a town which is too far for you to travel to but can only give you 100 for your phone which she took away and then lost?

LagunaBubbles · 30/12/2018 16:38

So many people jumping on the OP and saying she's rude to be texting whilst her friend is there, and yet seem to be ignoring the fact the friend was also on her phone!

Hannnnnnnxo · 30/12/2018 17:14

A good lesson to learn in backing up your data (photos especially) regularly. I assume android/google has an equivalent to iCloud photos and device backups so losing all your data was avoidable. It’s not even difficult or technically advanced to set up automatic backups

If I’m being honest, I reckon she still has your phone and doesn’t plan on giving it back - not because she needs the phone or money but because she doesn’t want to lose face and admit she was being ridiculous.

Hannnnnnnxo · 30/12/2018 17:18

Also when you get a new sim, it only activates as soon as you start using it. That means that you won’t receive any texts/calls sent to your number before you have activated the new SIM card so no, you won’t see the texts received since your phone disappeared

Kelsoooo · 30/12/2018 17:36

You say your chair reclines.

On the back at the base of the chair, is there a join in the fabric? This often has velcro or another way to open it, I often find my phone/money etc has slipped down there and it's acting as a pocket. But you need to open it and stick your hand up, there's usually a shelf thing and it often lands on there.

Icantfindausername · 30/12/2018 21:17

Only on here would people blame the OP. I hope you find it and get a new friend x

Original poster
Coldshoulders · 30/12/2018 21:38

Yeah I know what u mean about the sofa I have already done that. I have literally checked my flat from top to bottom, I looked everywhere hoping It would show up but no luck. Shame about the sim I thought my unread messages might of been retrievable, unlucky again. And I don't think I'm going to find it now i have gave up looking. I knew I would get some stick on here about me texting but majority of people have made me realise I should be pissed off and I should find better friends x

OP posts:
Osirus · 30/12/2018 22:34

If you have a Google account your photos may be backed up there? Despite having iCloud, my photos are also backed up on my Google account. You can never be too careful! Might be worth a look?

Original poster
Coldshoulders · 30/12/2018 22:43

I have checked an unfortunately they wasn't backed up, I do have some photos on snapchat memories so all is not lost yet pretty gutted about it all tbh but now i know to always have a back up x

OP posts:
Poodloo · 30/12/2018 22:59

Are you going to confront your friend?! You seem so placid about it all. Now that you know it's not in the house, you should be focusing on getting the phone back from the friend. This whole thread is bizarre

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