I'm sure I'm just feeling sorry for myself but please be kind. NC'd for this.
We've had the crappiest year - big stuff. Loss of my DM (we were close), near loss of DF which will happen soon, redundancy with associated financial worries, and a few other lesser things. Have another job now so financial worries no longer an issue.
We're quite social and try to make an effort with other families as our DC (age 12 and 10) don't have cousins. This year we hosted two big events (and a few small BBQs) - one for a big birthday which was a weekend away for 55 including children. So much fun that everyone has asked me to organise again for 2019 with everyone chipping in this time (I paid the first time). The other was a garden party at ours. Since September we haven't been able to host anything as our house has been a building site due to major works which are almost but not quite finished (only two families offered us a meal in the 10 weeks we had no kitchen but that's another moan).
We love new year and have always tried to do something. We saw one family three years running but then they dropped us. Don't know why. We tried to organise something but got brushed off. No falling out - they were at both events we organised this year and were one of the families that cooked us a meal when we were kitchen-less). The last two years not seen them at NY. Two years ago invited another family round (in fact by 3.30am we really wished they'd leave!) but they dropped us soon after (by dropped I mean started walking past us in street and not acknowledging us but they're a funny pair so I don't read too much into that).
Invited a few families to pop round last NY but all said they had plans (this was true, I know). A relative of mine always holds a big NY party and have been invited once or twice but not this year - again I'm trying not to read anything into it - we were invited to another party they had this year.
So this year, for the second year running, we have nothing to do. But we wanted to have a social night with friends and their children, but it feels like no one wants to do new year with us although they do all spend it with other families.
I think we'll get a takeaway and watch tv. This is what we did last year. Going to a pub full of strangers doesn't appeal.
I know it's just one night - I just feel disappointed. I wanted to mark the end of a rubbish year - I know 2019 won't be better, the one thing I do know is I'll lose DF. I know some aren't bothered and want to stay in, but for NY we wanted to be with friends. But they're all doing stuff that doesn't include us.
Reading this back it feels childish and U. I'm not miserable - everyone comments that I'm still smiling after everything.
I suppose the AIBU is WIBU to just give up on NY for future years. Not in a huffy way, I just feel so low how the last two new years have turned out. I know lots of people are at home alone and so will we be, despite not wanting to be and despite best efforts to build a social life.
Are we doing something wrong?