So I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable so completely ready to be told so! It also might be long because I don't want to drip feed!
DS is 3. He has never really been a sit still and watch TV kind of child and DH and I don't really watch a lot of tv while DS is awake. Sometimes I'd love him to sit and watch a film or half an hour but he just likes to be up and active. It's not a stealth boast or anything but I'm quite glad he doesn't spend hours looking at a tv/phone/iPad not that I think there's anything wrong with children having screen time at all. He has in the past watched maybe half of a film in one sitting and has seen all the Julia Donaldson films but things like ceebeebies he won't watch for more than 5/10 minutes.
SIL knows this. She has been there when we've had tv on and we have said how he doesn't like to sit and watch. She has asked if we can watch a film at PILs and tried to make DS sit only to have him not interested in sitting and watching and to have us both say that he just doesn't want to and we're quite happy for him to not be bothered by TV. I suggested watching the gruffalo because it's shorter and he loves the book only to have him get up and bring me the book to read to him instead.
Last Christmas she sent DH a photo of a portable dvd thing and asked if DS would like it as a present. DH said that it was a good present but he probably wouldn't like it or use it and he didn't want her wasting money on it so to just get him some books or paints which would be cheaper and he'd definitely use. She replied saying that his idea was better but then for Christmas she still got him the DVD player and a load of dvds to watch on it. DH didn't say anything but just thanked her for it.
We used the DVD player once and he wasn't interested. We have asked him if he wants to watch films or programmes and he just doesn't want to. I ended up using it to play music which he much preferred so he could dance around.
SIL came to Pils and ended up looking after DS for a couple of hours when they had to take their dog to the vet and DH and I were at work. DS said later on he didn't play with SIL and she made him sit and watch the tv. He said he felt sad and wanted to play with his toys but she wouldn't let him and told him he had to stay on the couch. DH asked SIL about it and said that we've told her in the past DS doesn't enjoy watching tv to which SIL said "Well I'm going to change that." When asked what she meant SIL said "I think it's weird that he doesn't want to watch films, all the babies I know watch tv and it doesn't hurt them." I told her that we're not against him watching it but it's him who doesn't want to do it and we're not going to force him.
I should add that There are no SEND issues and we're not concerned about his attention because he will spend ages at activities he chooses whether that be reading stories, role play, drawing. He just doesn't like watching tv. DH and I aren't the type of people who go on about this either. If someone asks about screentime we say things like "He's not really in to watching things" or "He prefers to be up and about" or even "I wish he'd just watch an episode of peppa pig so that I can do the dishes!" We don't make a fuss if he doesn't watch something or on the rare occasion he will watch something. We watch tv when he's in bed and DH will watch Netflix/prime on his way to or from work as he has a longer commute.
So this year SIL has bought him a full sized tv for his bedroom and a load of dvds to watch on it. She handed the box to him to open and smiled at me and DH saying "Inknow you've said he doesn't like tv but I think we should let him decide don't you?" I thanked her for the present and DS did too but this morning he asked if he had to watch tv and I said no to which he said "I don't want SIL to come to our house because she will make me watch the telly."
I feel like she's done this to make a point, although I'm not sure what it is. I'm sure in a few years he will want to put a film on but I don't really want a tv in his room. I didn't have one when I was younger until I was about 13 and think that 3 is too young for a tv in the room. Not that he'd watch it anyway!
Sorry for rambling! I just don't know what we should do. Should we return the tv to SIL or keep it in storage until he's older or even store it but speak to SIL about her weird obsession with making DS watch tv? Or am I just over reacting?