to hate my teenage son's music

[Treessy]

Drill, rap, whatever, how I loathe it.

I grew up with and even looked back to - Sinatra, Fleetwood Mac, The Cure, The Clash, Shirley Bassey, Madonna, The Beatles, Iggy Pop, Johnny Cash, the Cars, the Beach Boys, Sister Sledge, Joan Armatrading, T Rex, 10 cc, Manic Street Preachers, Simon & Garfunkel, Nirvana, Siousie and the Banshees, Happy Mondays, Donna Summer, etc etc etc. Some of these artists were before my time but I still loved them!!!! So much!!! Some of them I discovered more as an adult it must be said. But even as a teenager I had a sense of other music OK I drew the line at John McCormack which my mother liked.

40 years on, my son listens to the most awful (IMO) misogynist, violent, dreary crap rap, drill whatever the hell its called and watches their shite violent music videos. But he insists its artistic, melodic and wonderful.

AIBU? Genuine question.

The kid’s music these days are crap, the 90’s were better

Get him headphones. You shouldn't have to listen to violently misogynistic lyrics in your own house. That's not about the musical "merit" ift the song. Back in the day I listened to some east coast rap and grime and stuff and it sounded great but some of the lyrics are really hard to listen to as a woman and I don't out that music on anymore, I just got fed up of musicians I really liked having little space in their music for women to be anything other than hate figures or objects of desire.

my son listens to the most awful (IMO) misogynist, violent, dreary crap rap, drill whatever the hell its called and watches their shite violent music videos. But he insists its artistic, melodic and wonderful.

I like opera, some of it is dreadfully misogynistic and violent.

Don Giovanni might not refer to women as itches but he doesn't have much respect for them.

YANBU to not like misogynistic rap. YABU to not understand what trolling means.

I find ithe that my kids and friends listen the music I did as a teenager due to Spotify. Ds listens to rap stuff, not my cup of tea but as 9th erst Ave said parents aren't supposed to like it!

My son (17) listens to : Rich the Kid, 21 Savage, XXXTentacion, Li'l Pump and others.

He will share some songs and associated videos with me. My opinion is: most of it is designed to shock; there seems to be some crossover between the lifestyle of the artists and their music and some artists gained popularity once they were dead. I could say the same about the music favoured by young people in the Sixties, Seventies, Eighties and Nineties.

However, I was concerned that my son was drawn to the rather disturbing and haunting songs of two young artists: one who had been murdered and one who had almost certainly taken his life. My son is prone to depression and there is something about the sound and the content of the songs that is unnerving.

Yet, like many posters have said, the music can be a starting point for serious discussions with our sons.

My late mother was a huge Tom Jones fan, and would sing "Delilah" while pottering about the house.

It's practically a justification for murdering your (female) partner, ffs - misogyny in music is nothing new.

I watched a docu about Frank Sinatra last night and part of it focused on his loathing of rock and roll music. He couldn't bear it.

My dad liked ACDC before they were particularly famous and had to order the LPs in to the record shop specially. He remembers how back then they were too extreme to be played much on the radio.

It's just part of culture. It's interesting. I cringe a bit when you get children who only listen to their parents' curated music.

Drill is a disturbing genre due to its links with gang culture. Listening to it won't turn someone into a gang member, just like listening to George Michael will make you gay.
I'd be annoyed if my child listened to this sort of music purely because of the lyrics. And yes, lots of 'old' music has some lyrics that would not be acceptable today, but that's historical. I listened to similar music to my parents ( as a child growing up with young parents in the flower power era) and my children listened to the same music as me in the 80s and 90s. My DH has played in bands all his adult life, and still does. His music is more punk influenced than anything else. But we wouldn't listen to drill or other similar genres purely based on the messages being promoted in the lyrics.
If you wouldn't accept your child speaking with friends about similar things, having it under the disguise of music is very worrying.

I'm torn on this. Teenagers are supposed to like noisy music that their parents hate. If you liked their music, it wouldn't be THEIR music. Twas ever thus.

If you do have a wide appreciation of music then maybe try and find some common ground. Open your mind and don't dismiss it all as shite. Your DS might enjoy the challenge of finding something you both like.

Having said that, I would have to mention misogyny in music if I heard it, and do. DS 13 knows my thoughts on Ed Sheeran and his objectification for example.

yabu, because:

1. Rap music isn’t notably more misogynistic than other genres, and to single it out as being exclusively so is often subliminally racist.

1. Just because you don’t understand it doesn’t mean it isn’t good. If you genuinely don’t think someone like Stormzy is melodic and lyrically complex that’s fine, but you should be able to appreciate that it’s a valid viewpoint that others justifiably hold.

1. It’s a rite of passage for parents to hate their kids’ music and complain about how it was so much better in their day, and you shouldn’t attribute this inevitable feeling to something specific about your son’s music when it is one of life’s universal laws.

OP you can't control what music someone listens to and you're being ridiculous to say that rap isn't music. Some rappers rap about the most painful things in their lives and I doubt you've even bothered to listen to what the artists are saying, would you rather he listened to pointless pop songs? I wouldn't listen to a single one of the artists mentioned in your OP.

Can you name the artists be likes?

I'm not into any of the music you've mentioned. People like different things. It's expected that you and your son may have different music tastes given the generational difference. Let it go and let him enjoy whatever music he likes. I agree with the person who mentioned that not all rap and hip hop music is misogynistic and that you're playing into the stereotype of black people listening to ‘thug music’. Yanbu to dislike your son's music because everyone has different taste. YABU if you want to restrict his music. Keep your opinion to yourself.

OP you can't control what music someone listens to

I sometimes have this conversation with my teenage DC - I have a right not to be subjected to violent/misogynistic music in my own home.

We talk about why I have an issue with it and if they still want to listen to it with headphones that's up to them.

That said, I find it difficult sometimes since, as PPs have said, lots of good music is misogynistic because that's the world we unfortunately live in. I'm not condoning the misogyny, it's just sadly everywhere.

God know what my parents thought when I used to play the rude version of -“BoomBoomBoom(let me hear you say whayo”

I agree with OP, to a degree. There's nothing positive about Drill music; BRITISH rap on the whole is terrible.

I fail to see how not liking a particular type of music equals snobbery, especially when that music is terrible to start with.

Educate yourselves:

I think the teenage years are meant to be time to become separated from your parents. Since time almost began (1950s at least), teenage music has offended parents. I’ve never encouraged loud music playing on anything but a piano, bassoon or violin. Modern rock/pop/garage whatever is for noise cancelling headphones. I don’t then have to listen to it and can continue to offend the children with Carmen.

If anyone can point out anything positive about it, I'd be happy to hear it. If you can point me to any drill song which instills any positivity about any aspect of life, let me have it.

Drill music isn't about the struggles of life, it actively boasts about how nasty they are and the criminal lifestyles they lead.

It's not good just because people like it or because somebody created it.

Learn the words and pop in and out of his room whilst rapping them.

That’s what my mum did with the, “Arseholes, bastards, fucking cunts and pricks”, part of an Ian Drury song. This tactic ensured that I always skipped that song to avoid seeing my mum pogo whilst chanting obscenities.

She was wise, my mum .

You aren't supposed to like the music your children listen to. I loved Eminem as teenager and my parents hated it.
Explain why you have an issue with the lyrics and ask him to use headphones but ultimately it's his choice.

Off topic slightly but I heard an interesting experiment relating to drill music recently - they replaced the lyrics with tweets by politicians and found that they were just as offensive - if not more so.

Mine loves rap and grime. I'm not entirely sure what drill is but he probably loves that as well. Currently listening to Kanye west on loop. I don't like it, but then he doesn't want to listen to my Greatest Showman soundtrack either.

I loved music when I was his age, my parents hated my choices. It's the circle of life!

Just reading some of the responses on here is leaving me speechless.

"The struggles of the artist"?!?

What?

What a load of claptrap.

I suspect if Drill was a "white" thing the people defending it on here would be all over it calling it out for its subject matter. But because it's predominantly a minority thing, it gets a free pass and everyone looks the other way.

YANBU, rap is shite. @Shockers suggestion is amazing and hilarious 😂

Oh well, people are just trolling me now

People e disagreeing with you isn't the same as trolling.

Also echo what @Shockers says. If I say I like something, it makes it instantly crap.