Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be annoyed?

94 replies

saturdaynightgin · 28/12/2018 22:34

Another PIL one sorry!!

DD is due to start school on 7th Jan. She turned 3 a few weeks ago so we’ve been making a fuss about her starting ‘big’ school etc.

PIL briefly mentioned taking DD and her cousin to the local pantomime on the afternoon of the 6th - they didn’t ask if we had plans, just told us they’d booked the tickets. Luckily we had nothing on - it’ll be the first time they have DD on their own and I was quite happy about it. However, I’ve just found out that they’ve actually booked tickets for the evening showing instead so DD won’t be getting home til 7.30pm at the very earliest Angry

AIBU to be extremely annoyed by this? The likelyhood is that DD will fall asleep in the car on the way home as 7pm is her usual bedtime, so our whole evening bath/bed routine is not going to happen.

I’ve told DP that he needs to tell his parents that we are not at all happy about this. I’m tempted to say she can’t go, but PIL have only just started to take a real interest in our family so don’t want to do anything to push them away. I’m so so annoyed tho!! AngryAngry

OP posts:
paintinmyhairAgain · 28/12/2018 22:41

it's a one off and you are extremely annoyed ?? surely routine can be slacked for once. yabu

AJPTaylor · 28/12/2018 22:48

It's the night before first ever day at school!
I would decline I think.

DontPanic42 · 28/12/2018 22:50

I think I would decline too!

babysharkah · 28/12/2018 22:51

Are you in the uk it is it nursery that she's starting?

Either way it's too late!

Birdsgottafly · 28/12/2018 22:51

I think it's a nice treat at the end of Christmas Break and before she starts School.

She won't need her bath/bed routine, she'll be tired. Bath and change her for the panto.

Family relationships are important.

mnistooaddictive · 28/12/2018 22:52

She’s 3. It is preschool, not school. Let her have her fun. When she is 15 and doing GCSEs then worry. Until then don’t let school take over your lives. I say this as a teacher btw

Ellisandra · 28/12/2018 22:52

I might decline if it actually was her first day at school.
She’s 3.
So it’s what - preschool? Non compulsory anyway.
And she’ll probably fall asleep at her usual time in the car anyway.
Unclench!

Birdsgottafly · 28/12/2018 22:53

What time do you need to get her up for Nursery? Surely 12 hours sleep will do her?

Pinkyyy · 28/12/2018 22:53

Tell them they need to keep her awake, let her have a nap before she goes

ItsNearlyOver · 28/12/2018 22:55

It's not really 'school' when she's 3.

PurpleFlower1983 · 28/12/2018 22:55

You are overreacting!

paintinmyhairAgain · 28/12/2018 22:56

10 -12 hours is the usual for a 3 year old, does she have problems sleeping otherwise ?

jessstan2 · 28/12/2018 22:56

I don't think getting home at 7.30pm will make much difference. You can get her to sleep by eight or eight thirty and she'll still get a good ten hours sleep.

Relax!

TeddybearBaby · 28/12/2018 22:58

You seriously want her to miss out on a family treat and potentially damage your relationship with your in laws and waste money because a 3 year old is going to be playing the next day? Sounds crazy to me. Don’t get it at all.

Skallamander · 28/12/2018 23:06

Double check the start time of the pantomime, Ask your 3 year old if she like to go ( mine would have )
If you are happy with the arrangements let them go.
Nursery will be fun the next day.
However, only do what you are happy and comfortable with.
If you think you’ll let it go this time, you don’t always have to let them book things without making firm plans without you.
I’d have thought a nicer event would have been a family outing .
However, do what is best for your family

Original poster
saturdaynightgin · 28/12/2018 23:07

DD is a bad sleeper, wakes up several times a night regardless what time she goes to bed, so going to sleep at 7 means she gets about 10 hours sleep by 7.30 the next morning.

It is nursery she’s starting, but I still feel that it’s important, especially as it’ll be in a new language.

I suppose maybe I am BU, but it’s just typical of PIL to do something like this without even checking it is ok first - they’re very self centred and only do things that suit them. We don’t have the best relationship with them (DP included) because they’ve never bothered much with us before

OP posts:
Skallamander · 28/12/2018 23:08

Ignore other people though, I wouldn’t have let my first child go off with anyone other than me and my husband, on an evening, in unfamiliar circumstances, not even my parents.
Do what you think is best, be kind to your in laws though 😀 and ignore a lot of people on mumsnet.

TrickyKid · 28/12/2018 23:09

I assume you mean she's just turned 4? Or it it is 3 and she's at nursery/preschool I wouldn't worry about it.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 28/12/2018 23:09

What time does it start?

Skallamander · 28/12/2018 23:10

A friends parents’ took her young child on holiday, they booked, then quoted the cost at her and her husband, who then felt guilty and let them go.
Don’t do it if you are not happy

BumbleBeee69 · 28/12/2018 23:10

another Decline OP

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 28/12/2018 23:13

An evening show usually starts about 7.30 OP. Find out for definite what time she will be home then decide.

Withgraceinmyheart · 28/12/2018 23:13

I don’t think I’d want her going either. It may not be ‘proper’ school but it’s a big deal for her and she might be nervous about it. Id want to make sure she’d had a relaxed evening and as much sleep as possible, to make her first day the best experience it can be.

Yanbu to decline if they booked without asking if your dd was free. She’s not. Wasted money and damaged relationships is on them not you.

Ilove · 28/12/2018 23:21

She’s 3

It is nursery

Home 30 mins after bedtime

Honestly, let it go

Bath her before the panto!

brizzledrizzle · 28/12/2018 23:23

Let her go, it's preschool and they will be playing not doing algebra.

Swipe left for the next trending thread