Steiner schools, plastic presents and family meltdowns

[WutheringBites]

I’ve namechanged because it’s a bit spottable. Basically, I went to a lot of effort to buy really cute old style fisher price toys for my nieces (who live abroad) and have been told third hand that their parents have hidden them because the children (preschoolers) aren’t allowed to play with anything “plastic”. Apparently it’s against the rules of their nursery.

I’ve now been told, parents are upset because I got them something similar last year.

AIBU that

1. I feel really put out that the children aren’t getting the presents I went to quite a lot of expense and effort to get;
2. That no one bothered to tell me that they weren’t allowed anything except wood?
3. That they didn’t get last years presents either.

And is this rule about only wooden stuff something I should have known? Is it a general Steiner thing?

I’m also really sad that it puts an extra distance between me (as their Aunty) and my DC (as cousins) when we already live in a different country. Due to family pressures it’s really difficult for me to travel to see them; and they don’t come to us at all (but I’ve invited them lots). I feel so upset. I only have one sibling; and no cousins, etc. 😰 I feel I’ve messed up, but didn’t know; and I know I’ll just end up sitting sobbing if I try to phone and talk about it. Arrrgh. 😰

Nope I still have 6 baby teeth... I have books at home and never have had any truck with the occult, religion, racist ideology or any such. I did go to a Steiner school and what you are all describing is not what I experienced. I am still interested in if you have had a different experience and if not why dislike it so much.

Your observation is accurate, mumsastudent. There is a high rate of crossover between Steiner advocates/adherents and anti vaxers.

spiritualityisnoexcuse.wordpress.com/2015/08/24/rudolf-steiner-racism-nazis-why-anthroposophy-doesnt-grow-up/

^^ A comment on Steiner/race/the system.

I have also been vaccinated as have both my children.

Unescorted The whole philosophy is founded in racism. But teachers are taught explicitly to hide this from students and parents.

Well this thread has been fascinating. It’s obviously all more contentious than I’d realised. Tbf I think the school/nursery they are at is a state one in the country they live in. So maybe not the same set of anti-vaxx stuff (gods I bloody hope so; maybe I won’t ask?!?).

Good news; now I know a bit more about why to avoid books. (Sigh)

Thank you all for being kind 💕

Gnomes, no black crayons or is it red crayons?

There's a Steiner Waldorf survivor web page but this thread will disappear soon

My step daughter is at steiner school. Her mother was impressed by the child centric approach, the wooden toys etc and looked shocked when someone asked her her thoughts on his philosophy.

Having been on MN for 14 years it won't surprise me if this thread gets pulled OP, as nearly every one where people express negative views of the Steiner system disappear.

Steiner school 'rules' do not extend out of school and into home. It's not a religion. Parents are taking it way too far and are very rude to tell this other person about the terrible plastic gifts you bought their kids.

Yes it is a religion.

Your experience, including retention of six baby teeth, is most unusual, Unescorted.

Experiences of Steiner:
I have a dear friend and former neighbour whose children went to Steiner schools and my comments are based on their experience of two Steiner schools in two different locations. One of the children is currently in therapy trying to recover from her experience of the Steiner environment and from anorexia. In particular the unarticulated criticism of her work had a profound effect. She was asking questions whose answers could not be provided without reference to mainstream science and was not happy with answers that included gnomes or inherent qualities of colours or substances, etc. For some years she had got the feeling that she had crossed some lines that she had not suspected existed but actually they did. When she crossed them she was not told explicitly but was let know in more subtle ways.

It's a difficult situation to describe, but this girl felt she had fallen short of unspoken expectations and had internalised the unspoken criticism, then dealt with the anxiety this caused by means of efforts to control what she could in her life, hence ED, and she also developed depression. When my friend sought support and insight from the Steiner school as to the classroom environment, classroom interactions, and any psychological or emotional stresses there, she was cold shouldered. It was a horrible experience for that family and they are not through it yet.

You do not seem to be grasping that Anthroposophy /theosophy is not explicitly taught in Steiner schools, Unescorted. That is why you have not been taught it. It is the foundation of everything that is done in Steiner schools all the same.

This all sounds completely bonkers to me. However I have to say that it is a very British obsession with reading and reading young. I learned to read at 6, and was considered advanced. Most of my classmates only started learning at 7 when they started school. Not only I love reading and I can read very well, I can do so fluently in 2 languages (and decipher simple texts in two more) and so can a lot of others I grew up with. DD reads a lot ,but it's because she has to (demanded by the school) not because she particularly enjoys it which I find really sad and rather annoying.

WutheringBites, the spread of Steiner schools into state systems is something that is also very contentious. In the US there is a big debate about separation of church and state, and in other countries the nature of Steiner philosophy and whether the state should be subsidising it or giving it its imprimatur by means of state sponsorship also causes debate.

I did not encounter racism. My primary teacher has been cited for helping set up the peace camp work between Palestinian and Israeli children. My High school International Studies teacher was a UN peace ambassador. Both worked tirelessly to promote international peace and co-operation. It is frankly insulting that you think that teachers were told to hide their racism. They are 2 of the most un racist people I know.

I am still waiting to hear of your direct experiences......

Indeed, RebelWitchFace, there are many sound reasons to delay formal teaching of reading until age 6, but the Steiner reasons are not based on research.

Books are taken from children and parents are discouraged from reading at home
That would be me out, we'd done Wind In The Willows and all Beatrix Potter before he was even discharged from hospital after birth!!

OP thry were rude not to tell you at least after last year (hey sis, the children aren't allowed plastic, toys with faces or books, here's some links / ideas ". Easy eh?
Message them, explain Mum has explained and you hope they'll pass them on to a women's refuge or similar and can they give you gift ideas in future.

Are the kids allowed to face time you? What country are they in?

Don't feel bad - you didn't know!

YANBU to be upset though.

Can you contact them and say something like 'OMG I heard from X about the toys and feel terrible! I had no idea that you only accept wooden toys and wish that you had told me. Is there anything else I should know? Please do tell me directly because I'm not clairvoyant'

If you end up sobbing on the phone that's okay. They upset you by being so churlish about your kind present. There is no reason to protect them from that.

You are splitting hairs here, Unescorted. Your laudable teachers got Steiner wrong and I hope the cognitive dissonance of working in the Steiner system with views such as theirs did not affect them.

The fact remains that reincarnation is a basic underlying theory of Steiner education, and that the hierarchy through which individuals reincarnate places blue eyed white people at the top, though in different aeons this top position may be held by different 'races'. Racism is always present, and a hierarchy of 'races' is still a racist concept even if 'races' other than caucasians occupy the top spot.

unescorted The teachers may or may not be racist, that is not what I said. The philosophy of education practised is racist.

They're in Germany, aren't they?

Fair enough math I just see the reading thing so much on various threads and I went off on a tangent mini rant about it.

YANBU and the whole Steiner thing sounds complete and utter wahoo bollocks as well.

Your view of Steiner schooling is based on other people's view. It really is not as bad as you think. I could equally tell you tales of people fucked up by Grammar schools (buggered by the chior master -been hospitalised for mh issues) and Comprehensives (cannot read and are rough sleeping with a class A drug addiction) I know people who went through Steiner schools and Montessori schools with similar problems, but it is not the system in isolation. To blame the system is blinkered and disregards the person.

DD goes to a Montessori with no plastic stuff and workstations etc etc

I’d never be such a wanker as to tell someone they couldn’t give her a plastic toy. People need to give their head a wobble

I prefer wooden toys simply because they’re nicer and more eco friendly. I try to avoid single use plastics and plastic toys that will still be in landfill when my DS is a pensioner! He does have some recycled plastic toys, and a few ordinary plastic toys that were gifted to him, but mostly he has wooden toys. I wouldn’t choose plastic myself but once it’s been purchased and gifted to him there’s little point in binning it.

I agree with the pp who mentioned shopping at Babipur. There’s a wide choice of lovely eco friendly wooden toys.