To wonder if middle class children appear more ‘scruffy’

[Workingclass]

Went to a Childs party today for an old school friends DD (they are incredibly middle class) and her group of mum friends (who are equally as middle class)

I admit I don’t usually socialise in many middle class circles but I couldn’t help but notice that all of the children looked... scruffy, for want of a better word.

None of them had brushed their hair, they were all in mismatched clothes with muck on their faces. Didn’t look bathed..

I feel awful saying it, but I notice this also with the MC children at the DC school, has anyone else noticed it? I’m just curious as to why this seems to be a thing? Does my dds plaits and dresses ‘out’ her as having a working class family?

Is it more of a privilege thing? We don’t have much money so am weary of being judged as lazy by not doing her hair, I also make an effort to dress her nicely so she doesn’t look like ‘the poor kid’ is it that if your middle class you don’t have that fear?

Absolutely happy to be told IABU and judgemental but I am genuinely curious on the subject.

Lots of MC parents who don't brush their children's hair basically proving the OP's point but being all defensive/proud about it.

I think people only started being defensive when you started being judgmental and rude. That's a pretty common reaction.

Lazy- I think lipstick is referring to the welfare reform agenda, but could be wrong. That has had devasting impact on the working classes.

Nah, they're just mildly insulted that their money doesn't insulate them from others judging their questionable personal hygiene. They probably never genuinely considered that they were minging rather than free spirited.

Does brushing hair count as personal hygiene? To me hygiene is about cleanliness like brushing teeth, showering, etc. whereas brushing hair is more about appearance.

I really don't think anyone should be criticising little kids as looking scruffy no matter what class you might think they are. (Whatever your class system is) Judging 6 year old kids for what they are wearing really isn't great. I'd hate to think people were saying that about my kids - and no I don't think I'm middle class (whatever that is) and they are not scruffy but I wouldn't care if they were.

So many of these hair brushing comments remind me of my mother - she is the most uptight, pearl-clutching person I have met.

This thread is so funny. I never really thought how my kids look so long as they are happy and clean. They often choose their own clothes when going out. Mostly tops. We have a few bog standard jeans and joggers that they wear. They are clean but nearly never new. We always take them out in their trainers (and we don’t buy boots separately either. No idea why). It’s just how I like to be so I feel it’s comfy for them too. They usually have short hair which is cut every couple of months or so. We live in a fairly middle class area but I never looked at any of it with this view. I think it’s all rubbish. Life is too short for these worries.

I am indeed referring to welfare cuts,austerity,pip assessments.LA and NHS cuts all significantly impacting upon the working classes
MC are cushioned from it by privilege,class and earnings ability and/or nepotism

@SantaClauseMightWork yes life is too short. I've never thought about any of this. So long as kids are clean and comfy that's ok with me - regardless of which class I'm boxed into.

The point though is that many middle classes who let their kids run about like little urchins genuinely don’t care and are well aware they are ‘scruffy’. They don’t care because they don’t see it as particularly important. They know their kids are well fed, stimulated at home, supported at school. If they are in hand me down clothes it is totally fine as it is only clothes. There basic and emotional needs are being met and that’s all that matters.

Yeah, much better to be a free spirit with the right values. Who nevertheless ensures they earn a wodge and have a big house. But that's a different kind of worldly awareness, not like the plebs with their hairbrushes. It's pure. Unsullied.

Does brushing hair count as personal hygiene?

Of course not, it's personal grooming. Some won't go without a full face of make up; for others a shirt is a must regardless of how casual an occasion; those with curly hair generally never brush their hair.

Why is it such a revelation? Just because it's not part of your daily routine does not mean that person is dirty.

I have to brush my hair every morning, I am not "dressed" until a brush has been run through it. Same for my daughter. My DH styles his hair with his fingers. My DS just needs it patting down a bit to get rid of the bed head - brushing it would make him look feral.

Lol, they started being rude when I 'dared' to question why hairbrushing isn't standard/basic parenting

You were immediately rude and confrontational. Let's not pretend otherwise. So of course that prompted some less-than-friendly responses. What a shock!

Why would you go and start arguments online and then post about how "hilarious" it is that people are arguing with you? Sincerely, ask yourself why.

I got two hairbrushes for Christmas and a live in a small house in the North.

Does this make me working class?

(I think it's time for bed...)

Hulloa- well yes, but that’s the reality. In a list of life’s priorities for the solid middle classes brushing the children’s hair isn’t that high up. Financial security, education, health.

Again it’s the mc who are the first to proclaim none if this matters,unimportant etc
Signalling their correct perception that it doesn’t matter for them,as they have advantage & privilege
Whereas when life is more precarious you have less advantage & privilege and “stuff” matters more

scotmum lol. I just never looked at any of it this way. We are sending mixed signals, aren’t we? Their clothes are rarely branded and new or very smart. But their hair is short because I dread the idea of having nits under my roof. I would love to see it long but nits. They also like to wear tops with images of stuff and prints that has been labelled ‘primarily-like’ upthread. I now wonder what others around me think. Not that it will change my family’s way of life in the slightest. Lol 😆

What is the definition of middle class?

I am not disputing that it different people have differing priorities in life. And that this will of course come from varying positions of privilege

What is the definition of middle class? By the power of google shall you know,go look it up
Or are you expecting someone to do it for you?

What is the definition of middle class?

mid·dle class
/ˈˌmidl ˈklas/
noun
1.
Someone who shops at Waitrose

@LipstickHandbagCoffee no I was wondering what the groups definition was. Not google.

@PrivateVasquez nope not me then haha

Sorry if I offended anyone. I am solidly from a working class background although not from the UK so I don’t really know where I belong. However, I don’t really care. I have never really liked the class system of UK. In my eyes, you are either a hard-working and honest person, or you are not. That’s all there is to class in my eyes. Anything and everything else is just plain old garbage.