To wonder if middle class children appear more ‘scruffy’

[Workingclass]

Went to a Childs party today for an old school friends DD (they are incredibly middle class) and her group of mum friends (who are equally as middle class)

I admit I don’t usually socialise in many middle class circles but I couldn’t help but notice that all of the children looked... scruffy, for want of a better word.

None of them had brushed their hair, they were all in mismatched clothes with muck on their faces. Didn’t look bathed..

I feel awful saying it, but I notice this also with the MC children at the DC school, has anyone else noticed it? I’m just curious as to why this seems to be a thing? Does my dds plaits and dresses ‘out’ her as having a working class family?

Is it more of a privilege thing? We don’t have much money so am weary of being judged as lazy by not doing her hair, I also make an effort to dress her nicely so she doesn’t look like ‘the poor kid’ is it that if your middle class you don’t have that fear?

Absolutely happy to be told IABU and judgemental but I am genuinely curious on the subject.

I like my work colleagues. It's great. Stop wasting your life hating people- work on your own demons.

One thing that is probably true is that stuff like ironing clothes and brushing hair is less important to MC people because they don't need to worry about first impressions as much to get by/be successful in life. They're more likely to be well educated, have connections, have opportunities to work in creative fields/start their own businesses, etc. So they don't need to worry about impressing corporate drone interviewers with their appearance,

Yes, basikerly, to the OP. Nappy Valley, where I live, is crammed full of oh-so-personally-expressive children in washed-out Boden and matted hair.

Being mean about spending money on kids is very MC. Except, of course, money on education.

You get the odd MC freak of nature who sends their DC to the local (euphemism for state) secondary school, but the DCs wise up pretty quick in the alien environment and insist on Armani-ing and Vans-ing up pronto. Scousebrows and Longchamp totes for the gals, Jafaican accents and Nike for the boyz.

At this point the parents panic, finally acknowledge the children are fighting to preserve their physical safety with peer camouflage, and someone mentions a private 6th form. :)

You can look smart without having to iron though, it depends on styles & fabrics.
I’ve never worked in a coporate environment though, if I did I would likely have to iron more.

as a hiring manager

Do you hire many children?

What I hate is jumped up entitled MC twats who think their little darlings can do no wrong!

What about the non MC twats?

I can honestly say I have no clue what class I am. How do you know? My kids are always dressed smart so maybe that makes me working class? My brother and I were dressed awfully as children so perhaps my parents were upper class? Who knows?!

What I hate is jumped up entitled MC twats who think their little darlings can do no wrong

I just don't know what that's got to do with brushing hair and wearing immaculate outfits? Or why you wouldn't also hate jumped up entitled WC twats who think their little darlings can do no wrong. And jumped up entitled UP twats who think their little darlings can do no wrong.

I too find it super depressing that people view childhood and school as 14 years of practice for a middle management office job. And that is coming from someone who is very happy in my middle management office job. If ironing and hair styling and whatever else makes you happy crack on. If looking down on me and my family makes you happy, that's fine too. I genuinely dont view my choices as better than yours, i am just genuinely not very interested in your choices or how you view mine. Maybe that's twattery but I prefer to think of it as tolerance.

Oh god. This thread is making my head hurt. Too much arseholery to cope with.

I iron as we wear the clothes- is the night before or in the morning. Can think of nothing more tedious than doing piles in one go. Just put them away wrinkly.

Gosh hamster just because they don’t look immaculate doesn’t mean they’re not jumped up little twats

I too find it super depressing that people view childhood and school as 14 years of practice for a middle management office job

Totally agree. It always comes up on school uniform/hairstyle rules threads too.

"How could you ever let your tween dye her hair pink?? Don't you know she'll never get a job as an account executive with pink hair???"

You can look smart without having to iron though, Yes I agree.

I’ve never worked in a coporate environment though, if I did I would likely have to iron more.. No idea I don’t work in a corporate job. Perhaps another poster from corporate environment can offer an opinion on the impact of ironing upon career progression

Just come back to this as drunk too much wine to sleep yet. Haven't read the full thread but genuinely shocked people think it's ok not to brush their children's hair.

Also lots of nouveau riche trying to boast about how rich they are. Ie totally missing the point.

Fact is, everyone is judged by what they look like. Whether you like it or not.

I too find it super depressing that people view childhood and school as 14 years of practice for a middle management office job

Agree.

genuinely shocked people think it's ok not to brush their children's hair

Genuinely shocked? Why? If my child's hair doesn't get knotted/matted and looks more or less the same either way, why would it not be ok?

Are you saying that middle class parents should be spending more time on their kids' appearance so that they can "pass" as more class neutral? Or for some other reason?

I'm saying that you can't escape what you are, even if you try to because ultimately you've been so socially conditioned that you'll conform to that anyway. You can try and escape it, but ultimately those decisions you make to try and escape what you are, mark you out as what you are anyway. Because you will reflect your background in other ways and through other social markers.

The point is that you have been conditioned to recognise certain rules that apply to you because of your background. And whilst you might consciously break one rule at the same time you'll still be conforming in other ways which are recognisable to others. Or will be forced to conform whether you like it or not.

It sucks.

Good people will see through it all and accept you for who not what you are ultimately but the effect is it creates social barriers in both directions which are not helpful to anyone. And not everyone does make that effort and that's where the real problems are ingrained.

Lazy- someone posted the actual dictionary definitions previously. Middle class you have a degree/ profession. Working class, you don’t and work in jobs that don’t require one. Your parents background is also significant. You can’t truely move between classes without the education bit- you just are a rich working class person for example. Like Wayne Rooney/ Alan Sugar vs say Boris Johnston or Jonathon Dimbelby.

It's also a rural/town thing though, isn't it? We live rurally and people here are often horse riding/mucking out, dealing with the dogs, looking after their livestock etc. They're often in muddy fields and walking on muddy tracks. The children are often heavily into outdoor sports like rugby and football just like any from towns but their small clubs don't have all-weather pitches so they're again, covered in mud at the end of it. Children's play areas are often big and often set in enough land for walking/bike riding around. It's just not sensible to put children in little shoes, white tights and pretty dresses when they're going to be ruined in record time!

I always thought people from towns have more concrete, therefore a less mucky life and therefore go out in smarter clothes!

Are there more middle class than working class in the countryside? I wouldn't have thought so.

My perception is probably completely wrong, though.

I don’t brush my hair. It hurts when I do os don’t bother. I just run fingers through it and then tie it up.

My sis has dreads, you can’t brush hers

I think if you are a woman you can probably get away without ironing even in a corporate environment if you wash your clothes carefully.

When I worked in a solicitors firm (was admin person) one lady had a very sensible uniform of black stretchy dress or black trousers and silky top and cardigan for every day and then a black suit jacket that lived on a peg that she put on for meetings/court.

This reminds me of a conversation I had a few years ago. A friend said "I'm quite envious of you" when I asked why she said "your boys look like public school boys" puzzled I asked why. "They wear odd clothes, they are tall and slim with nice skin and thick floppy hair" oh and "they sound posh"
I've never really understood it. We just are as we are and couldn't give a fig what others think. Both boys are very happy and confident. That's all that really matters. My friend though was very anxious, competitive and had pretentions to be something, although I would have said she was doing quite well whereas we were always counting pennies.

Thanks Flossie... I'll see if I can find it. I have a degree, DH doesn't but earns way more than me. My parents definitely came from working class backgrounds but we're both well educated and had good jobs. Not sure what category I'd fall into. Interesting thread though!

Genuinely don't look down on people who do things differently from me (I'm weird at the best of times - witness the ironing thing) - and kind of confused about the judgments people seem to make about other people based on how well hair appears to be brushed, what labels they are wearing, what cars they are driving, what their GRANDPARENTS did for a job (wtaf?). . .

What happened to whether a person seems to be a good person? Honest? Kind? The sort of person you could trust with your trolley while you went and hunted yourself down a cab? Or vice versa?