To wonder if middle class children appear more ‘scruffy’

[Workingclass]

Went to a Childs party today for an old school friends DD (they are incredibly middle class) and her group of mum friends (who are equally as middle class)

I admit I don’t usually socialise in many middle class circles but I couldn’t help but notice that all of the children looked... scruffy, for want of a better word.

None of them had brushed their hair, they were all in mismatched clothes with muck on their faces. Didn’t look bathed..

I feel awful saying it, but I notice this also with the MC children at the DC school, has anyone else noticed it? I’m just curious as to why this seems to be a thing? Does my dds plaits and dresses ‘out’ her as having a working class family?

Is it more of a privilege thing? We don’t have much money so am weary of being judged as lazy by not doing her hair, I also make an effort to dress her nicely so she doesn’t look like ‘the poor kid’ is it that if your middle class you don’t have that fear?

Absolutely happy to be told IABU and judgemental but I am genuinely curious on the subject.

Yes we all conform to our tribes,I’m addressing the unbrushed hair comment from the recruiter
And creatives I know have a look,and they’re not hung up about brushes

I used to work with creatives. They all conformed to what their "tribe" rules were. this is true although they still think they are super individual.

On the micro-level, this thread show exactly why it matters. On wider scale, no matter what your individual wishes are, the fact of class-based perceptions exists

But outside of corporate roles it's less an issue. I used to meet a lot of owners of haulage firms etc and they were often not the sort of people you'd find in a corporate environment but financially successful nonetheless.

The focus often seems to be on the office world but there's a lot of money in technical and construction fields too.

No need for amazement, abacucat. Perhaps my hair is of a different style and texture to yours?

Meh, it used to take me a couple of minutes to do my daughters' hair and have a chat about the day ahead while I did so. Putting their hair in a neat pony tail or plaits meant it was out of their eyes and less likely to accommodate head lice. I think that's a pretty good use of my time.

My DS2 had long curly hair, because he hated haircuts and I loved the look of it. It was always clean and tidied with a wide toothed comb though.

What is the obsession with class anyway? Why do we have to be boxed into a class and behave appropriately. If you base class by salary, wealth, education and social status I'm a mixed up bag - as are many people I know. It might be a regional thing but where I come from no-one really talks about class.

So you sold your soul.

Explains a lot.

Night night!

Yes OP I am with you - have noticed this myself!

I come from a very working class background, my husband even less so but we have done 'okay' and now live and largely socialise in very middle class circles, apart from when with our families 😊

I notice that I make much more of an effort to ensure my kids are presentable, clean, fresh clothes, well fitting school uniform that is not discoloured with holes in jumper etc, matching socks. For parties, school discos etc I will always ensure they make a little effort, nothing OTT but just a nicely pressed shirt/jeans etc.

Weirdly I also find that MC children have far less material things - despite parents being higher earners, not suggesting this is a bad thing but they definitely receive fewer items for birthdays/Christmas in comparison to the LWC I know!

No judgement on my behalf, just observations!

The focus often seems to be on the office world but there's a lot of money in technical and construction fields too.

And many, many other fields too.

Yes I sure did read the post And it’s a direct quote
Yes, I do think I am above ironing to be honest
I don’t think I am above ironing,it’s a task.i don’t ponder it nor do I eschew it

Hmm thinking back I was an upper middle child. I had lovely clothes and well cut hair. DH was the son of a teacher and pardnts who were originally wc but mil became a teacher and fil an engineer. DH and his sisters looked like grubby urchins in pics and MIL is still a bit grubby.

DH was spotless by the time I met him and a bit anal about cleanliness because he hated the grubbiness of his childhood. I too have high standards of hygiene as do the dc. They were always clean at the start of the day but allowed to get dirty. Never wanted my dc to look like the bisto kids.

There are so many cheap and cheerful children's clothes now I can't see this as an issue for anyone sensible.

Yes I sure did read the post

So why did you imply that she thought somebody else should do the ironing when she also said I think everyone's time is worth more than that? (another direct quote!)

Ideally no one irons! I wear dresses or trousers and a floaty blouse when I need to look smart. My normal clothes are jeans and a jumper or a soft dress and a cardigan. I shake them out after I wash them and hang them neatly to dry.
DH wears a jumper over his shirt to work in winter (and irons in the summer)

I’m not looking forward to DS starting school though as they have a strict uniform policy so we’ll have to put him in shirts.

No one. DH irons his work shirts. I iron stuff if we are going to a wedding. That's it. As I said, i think everyone's time is worth more than ironing except for when really necessary. And sometimes I am canoeing or whatever. Sometimes i am sitting on my arse commenting on pointless threads like this. The point is that nothing terrible has become of my failure to iron or whatever so i am not inclined to change. What's twattish about that?

scottcheg my dh works with people like that, all flashy with what car they drive etc. My dh is on the same salary, if not more than some and has no desire to flash the cash. It’s a horrible trait.

fission It’s not that it’s not thought of as unimportant, it’s just not worth the hassle if not needed.

Because you hate it and life is worth more than that?

Because some people don't really that they are being judged by how squeaky clean their kids look 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yes, I do think I am above ironing to be honest Direct quote
So no don’t pick what suits yiur post and suggest I erroneously misquoted
She said Yes, I do think I am above ironing to be honest,and suggested it is an approach other should follow but that doesn’t negate the direct quote I have used

armi it’s not that I’m far too busy to do that, it’s just that I do it but it ends up messy again so it’s not worth doing all of the time. Excuse me for living my life and my childrens life the way we want. I have not at all insulted anyone’s choices on here.

Life is way too short to iron regularly.

Ideally no one irons ,yes that’s fine if that’s your ideal.up to you
I iron my work clothes,it makes them look good.i like to look well groomed it’s commensurate with my job and it makes me feel good

I knew we'd get on to 'filthy' houses at some point. A peck of dirt never hurt anyone.