To wonder if middle class children appear more ‘scruffy’

[Workingclass]

Went to a Childs party today for an old school friends DD (they are incredibly middle class) and her group of mum friends (who are equally as middle class)

I admit I don’t usually socialise in many middle class circles but I couldn’t help but notice that all of the children looked... scruffy, for want of a better word.

None of them had brushed their hair, they were all in mismatched clothes with muck on their faces. Didn’t look bathed..

I feel awful saying it, but I notice this also with the MC children at the DC school, has anyone else noticed it? I’m just curious as to why this seems to be a thing? Does my dds plaits and dresses ‘out’ her as having a working class family?

Is it more of a privilege thing? We don’t have much money so am weary of being judged as lazy by not doing her hair, I also make an effort to dress her nicely so she doesn’t look like ‘the poor kid’ is it that if your middle class you don’t have that fear?

Absolutely happy to be told IABU and judgemental but I am genuinely curious on the subject.

What a horrible post and comments ...

My kids quite often don't brush their hair. They always brush their teeth though.

That’s the rub,mc entitled sense of superiority. Rules & hairbrushes are for proles
Too creative to be hemmed in or dictated to about hair brushing
Artistry and creativity is immediate and mustn’t be inhibited,certainly not by grooming

Who lets their children leave the house without brushed hair?!

Plenty of people.

I don't think we have a hairbrush in our house. So what?

I’m 100% middle class. My child is always well turned out. I do know some tedious sorts whose kids are filthy, rude and unkempt. They take pride in being revolting, unpunctual and twattish. I don’t think it’s a class thing, I think it’s a ‘being a knob’ thing.

I think in the last 10 years there has been a massive reduction in social mobility, so I don't think this is helping matters. There are increasingly 'people like me' and 'people who are different to me'. This has manifested hugely in politics and an increase in identity politics. This is reflected in the TV programmes you watch and the music you listen to. Its a product of how different lifestyles have been marketed to us. It reflects our opportunities and aspirations.

Its hugely depressing and I don't think it benefits us as a society overall in the long run. Society has just polarised.

They have been known to go out without their hair brushed too. Depends where we are going and how much of a fuss they're making. They have it detangled in the bath every evening but it doesn't always look smart. Same as my own hair really.

one of them is looking at going for a deputy head position and she expects to get 70k plus.

Who lets their children leave the house without brushed hair?!

My son's hair does not get brushed - if it is then it puffs up and his head is 3x too big for his body.
My daughter's hair does get brushes.
ergo he is a neglect MC child and she is a well groomed WC child.

Does average little boy length hair even need regular brushing if it’s too short to get knotted? I tend to just smooth DSs down a bit after washing his face.

DH is bald and my hair is too curly to brush unless it’s wet.

@TAMumof3

FestiveNut - Teacher isn't MC, maybe Head, but not Teacher.
Teacher WC, possibly upper WC.

I disagree. As does the Cambridge dictionary.

Middle class (UK): a social group that consists of well-educated people, such as doctors, lawyers, and teachers, who have good jobs and are not poor, but are not very rich

dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/middle-class

Compare with working class :

a social group that consists of people who earn little money, often being paid only for the hours or days that they work, and who usually do physical work

HTH

Hmm yes it is a thing. We are fairly middle class. DD doesn't have a bath all that often and we are lucky to get a brush through her hair, even for a special occasion. She wears what she likes which includes fairly cheap clothing and leggings with holes. Tops with sequins are definitely ok though.

Odious!?

That's hilarious!

For not brushing a two year olds hair?

That does make you a complete bigot, you know that don't you? A narrow minded bigot.

I don't really give a shot what you think tbh hamster. You don't have a monopoly on interview experience and you sound ridiculous.

I don’t brush DS’s hair but then I rarely brush mine. It’s naturally wavy so looks better with a good old finger comb!

On the micro-level, this thread show exactly why it matters. On wider scale, no matter what your individual wishes are, the fact of class-based perceptions exists

I don't get it. So I should brush my son's hair because if I don't, people may perceive/assume that he's middle class?

Why does that matter?

At the risk of being flamed for saying this, but from what I've observed there does seem to be an attitude among SOME middle-class people that they're above trivial matters such as personal grooming. And owning an iron.

I'm astounded that people think hair brushing is optional. Astounded. So you'd advise your DC to turn up to a job interview like that then? I think not. I can assure you, as a hiring manager, I immediately judge on appearance. If you've never been taught that brushing your hair etc is part of the daily routine, you're not as an adult going to think looking smart for an interview is important either. I've seen it!

Most men I know don't brush their hair and they are very much top 10% earners. Doesn't mean they are unkempt.

Most 5 year old boys I know don't go for job interviews.

I don’t worry about what people think of me and my children and how we dress/look. Most of my children’s wardrobes are scandi, boden, fatface and jojo. I never buy supermarket and have never set foor in a primark. I think they quality isnshit and would only be buying again in a few weeks time, whereas the brands I but are hard wearing and are often outgrown before outworn/mishapen.

My dd hates having her hair brushed, I battle every few days if I can but mostly juat run conditioner through it durihg bathtime (which isn’t every night)

We are an outdoors, country family who spend most winters riding bikes and all summer canoeing down rivers/camping. Naturally my kids will get mucked up. I haven’t got the energy to change or match their outfits every couple of hours.

I’m a teacher and my dh is a midlevel earner, I come from a working class background my dh from a middle class background

So you'd advise your DC to turn up to a job interview like that then?

Oh god, too funny. You're being utterly daft.

This sort of look? Not simply about wearing soft, comfortable clothes. Those handknitted jumpers don't look comfier than a cheap sweatshirt to me, but are definitely favoured among the hip MC tribe.

I’m not sure that preferring kids to have brushed hair makes anyone a ‘bigot’.

Calling people ‘bigots’ for expecting brushed hair, however, is a clear indication of being a bit of a twat.

HTH.