Is my neighbour being cruel to her child?

[Bigdad74]

I live in the UK. I have a neighbour from Eastern Europe who has some strange ideas about parenting. She is a single mother of two boys aged 10 and 4. I have no doubt whatsoever that she loves her children. However it has recently come to light that she is taking the youngest out walking their dog, 2 or 3 times a night, actually in the middle of the night when everyone else is in bed. It is winter time and I find this bizarre. She claims it is to build up his immune system. Meanwhile her 10 year old is left asleep alone in the house. I am greatly concerned.

Oh! Forgot to mention, if the youngest is pre-school he might have afternoon nap hence late bedtime. It’s very popular in some EE countries.

It's not cultural differences to go out walking at 1,2,3 am ffs!!

Well if this is actually completely correct as reported then yes, it is very odd and someone needs to have a word.

However, it seems so unusual and the reporting so subject to confusion, or at least ‘reading between the lines’ and a bit of shocked extrapolation, that I’m not really sure exactly what kernel of truth is st the bottom of it all.

As such, it’s probably not really what is seems, so you can take two paths: Decide it’s likely enough and worrying enough to communicate with school / hv / even ss, and let them sort through the confusion to see what is going on. Or, you decide it’s eccentric but not going to meet thresholds for social services involvement / not harmful enough to merit making an unusually eccentric family stressed, anxious and upset, so you leave it alone.

Or of course you and/or your wife just have a conversation with your neighbour?

happening.

I think the crux of whether or not it's harmful to the dcs is why she's doing this.

• Is the dog poorly trained or not exercised in the day time so is keeping them awake at night? Does she need help with dog?
• Is the mother finding it difficult to sleep or anxious? Does she have mental health problems or other disabilities and need support herself?
• Is the child refusing to sleep and she's walking to get the child to sleep?
• Are there any other reasons she needs to make repeated visits out late at night? (Drugs or prostitution? She gets a better signal in the park? She's a spy? She's an astronomer?)

None of us in internet land can possibly know what help she needs (or doesn't need) unless someone asks her why. OP can you just ask?

It needs reporting.

You don't know what the intention is and regardless of what anyone Culturally does, they have chose to live in the UK.

Children are put to bed of a night and got up for Nursery/School, no Culture takes their children out during the night, at different hours.

Either way, we know that children that young shouldn't be put through a lack of sleep and excessive exercise. Also, that 10 year olds shouldn't be left alone over night.

They are taken care off, on the outside, so were the children, in many US cruelty cases, oddly enough, they tend to be 'exercised' overnight.

Child protection is everyone's business. Children shouldn't be subjected to their Parents harmful opinions, that's why the UK has its Child Laws a lot better than other Countries.

"OP can you just ask?"

You never ask the Parent, it means they get chance to 'school' the child and think up excuses, if they get professional involvement.

There isn't a reason good enough to do what she's doing.

It needs to stop.

Child protection is everyone's business. Children shouldn't be subjected to their Parents harmful opinions, that's why the UK has its Child Laws a lot better than other Countries.
Lol . The UK is the only country I know where it is assumed that a "professional" (no matter how dim-witted or uneducated, what is important is that they are a civil servant) has a better view of what is better for the child based on spending 15 minutes with him / her and ticking boxes on a government-approved piece of paper, and is more interested in the said child's future and wellbeing than the child's parents.
I thankfully had contact with the system only via health visitors and CAFCASS during the custody proceedings after the divorce, but the level of intrusion is simply unbelievable.

"OP can you just ask?"

You never ask the Parent, it means they get chance to 'school' the child and think up excuses, if they get professional involvement

I'm not suggesting they ask something accusatory or requiring excuses. Just something along the lines of I heard you going out again last night. Is everything OK?

I’ve stuck a baby in a pram and gone for a walk round the block at midnight before out of sheer desperation and to stop them waking the other kids
But doing this on the regular is very odd and I wonder why she feels she needs to - dogs do not need walking several times through the night
Sounds like she needs help somewhere

silvercuckoo, some of the child torture and avuse/murder cases that happen routinely in other Countries, including the US, are extremely rare, if ever, in the UK.

Our child laws have got to the point they are through, research, best practice, rights of the child and making past mistakes.

One bad encounter with CAFCAS, doesn't mean that our Child Protection Laws are rubbish.

There's been many cases were no-one has Intervened because the family was a different Culture. When what was happening was abusive.