DSD has just has (another) car accident. Her fault. Her insurance excess is 2k because she wanted a very low premium and because of her previous claims.
DH got a call from his Ex today asking if he will pay half because she is broke. We recently all spoke about DSD’s continuing financial crises and agreed that enough was enough, no more bank of mum and dad. But they are now both wavering. To be fair, this is something I think is significant enough to want to help with however it comes at the end of a very expensive year in which we have already given her thousands (literally, thousands).
Phone call from Ex was followed by DH calling DSD. DSD did not ask us for the money, she just assumed it would be forthcoming. The word ‘please’ was not used in the conversation but she’ll let us know when she needs the money so we can transfer it directly to her account.
Would it be unreasonable to say ‘hell, no’ based on previous expenditure and lack of manners?
Am I being unreasonable even thinking that because I do recognise how useful a car is and that it makes her life significantly easier?
The assumption is that it would be a gift. Would it be unreasonable to insist on a written loan agreement with family? I don’t think it is likely to be paid back but perhaps if she officially owed us money, she would think twice about demanding more?
I absolutely recognise that I am becoming quite judgemental of her but the assumptions, lack of manners and lack of gratitude for the thousands she has received thus far are beginning to grate on me. Help me see this clearly!