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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave almost 8 year old in house alone while I go to the shop?

137 replies

Weebitawks · 27/12/2018 08:02

So I want to pop to the shop (less than 5 minute walk) to get some nice things in for us for breakfast. DS7 (almost 8) understandably doesn’t want to get dressed and come. Would I be unreasonable to just take toddler DS?

DS is sensible and would I imagine just sit in front of the telly. I don’t think he’d get up to anything and I’d lock the door. I’ve just never done it before so I don’t know?

Sorry for boring post.

OP posts:
Branleuse · 27/12/2018 08:04

Depends on the child of course, but if i thought that dc would just sit and watch telly then i would

BikeRunSki · 27/12/2018 08:04

Yes, I stsrtedmkeabing DS alone for 5-10 mins when he was 8. He had a list of phone numbers to ring if I wasn’t back by a certain time. (Me, DH, DM).

AutoFilled · 27/12/2018 08:05

I got a 7yo and I wouldn’t.

Sirzy · 27/12/2018 08:06

5 min walk to the shop. So at least 20 minutes out of the house allowing for shopping time too.

No I wouldn’t. Especially not for a non essential trip

PotteringAlong · 27/12/2018 08:07

Nope. Not at 7.

ThereWillBeAdequateFood · 27/12/2018 08:08

I have a nearly 8 year old. I leave her to walk to the very close shops. She’s pretty sensible.

My friends with similar aged kids are starting to leaver theirs.

Mummadeeze · 27/12/2018 08:08

Only started doing this when mine was nine and a half. But she is quite immature. Only you can decide on the risks but I do think seven is a bit young personally.

adaline · 27/12/2018 08:09

I was left at that age while my parents popped out. I don't think I moved from in front of the TV!

DanglyBangly · 27/12/2018 08:10

Sounds fine to me and I’ve done it.

Ringdonna · 27/12/2018 08:11

yes if it is only a five minute trip and long ss they are sensible I see no problem.

Original poster
Weebitawks · 27/12/2018 08:11

Thanks everyone - bit of a mixed response! I think I’ll take him with me now (he’s gone to put his clothes on) but maybe start soon (and not just because I want bacon!)

OP posts:
geekone · 27/12/2018 08:11

My DS is 8 Nearly 9 walk the dog some mornings for 30 minutes and leave him in bed or in front of the tv

MyOtherProfile · 27/12/2018 08:13

No. He's 7.

Check out the NSPCC guidance sheets and look at the staying home alone one with him.

Fairylea · 27/12/2018 08:22

I wouldn’t.

Get some nice stuff for lunch instead - when you’re both up and dressed and ready to go out together.

Grobagsforever · 27/12/2018 08:25

I would leave my 8 year old but she's very mature

Less risky than being in a car...

Purplejay · 27/12/2018 08:29

I wouldn’t have left mine at 7. I think he was 9 almost 10 when I first left him to go to the shop. 11 the first time I left him to walk the dog and now at 12 I will drive to the supermarket so leave him for up to a couple of hours. Depends on your child though.

Have a chat with him too before you do it. What to do if someone knocks, don’t try to cook anything etc 😀

BrieAndChilli · 27/12/2018 08:39

I have left my 7/8 year old but only with his 10’year old sister or 12 year old brother and only for 10-15 minutes if I need to pop out to pick one of the other kids up

Each child is different
I could have left DS1 at 7 as he is very sensible and can’t break a rule of his life depended on it! But that is why I didn’t leave him as if I said don’t leave the house and then the house was in fire he would have panicked as would have a dilemma as to whether to leave the house or not which the delay could cost him his life, from about 10 I started leaving him for increasing amounts of time until now he is 12 he comes home from school twice a week and is own his own until 6pm
DD age 10 hates being left on her own so I never did although now she will stay with one of her brothers for a short time. She will be in year 7 next year so she will come home with her brother after school etc. She is very very capable and able to look after herself, and is very good at problem solving etc so I would have no qualms leaving her alone when she is ready.
DS2 on the other hand is a complete different kettle of fish, he’s only 8 so still young but if I left him alone he would get up to all sorts. I can’t see a day for a long time that I would be happy leaving him!!

Notacluethisxmas · 27/12/2018 08:42

I leave my almost year old. Though the shop is a converted house 6 doors downs. Takes less than 5 minute to get there and pick what I want. Never a queue and only a small shop so never picking up loads of stuff. Usually just grab some milk and thats it.

Mookatron · 27/12/2018 08:43

I would do it if the shop is 5 minutes walk away and I felt sure ds wouldn't answer the door if it rang or do anything other than watch tv. I wouldn't lock the door though.

Frazzled2207 · 27/12/2018 08:44

Totally depends on the child. I was definitely at that age and that was before mobile phones.
Mine are younger and I'm not sure because of their potential to muck about. Think it's probably more doable for a responsible only child.

Fluffyears · 27/12/2018 08:46

My mum would leave us at that age to pop tonthe local shop and on she worked part time so if my Dad was working day shift we’d be alone till about 1pm during holidays and on Saturdays. Most of the time if my dad was at home he was in bed as he worked shifts so was completely oblivious to what was going on anyway.

formerbabe · 27/12/2018 08:50

My dd is 8...I would never leave her alone.

Seeline · 27/12/2018 08:50

You'd lock the door?
So that no one could get in?
Or would that mean your DS couldn't get out of there was a fire etc?

I don't think it's a good idea to do these things on the spur of the moment. Kids need preparing for this - what to do if ....... chats.
Can he use the phone, does he know who to ring, know the neighbours if he needs help, what to do if someone comes to the door etc. What is he allowed to do/not do?
It may only be 15-20 minutes, but a lot can happen in that time (including you being delayed).

Cachailleacha · 27/12/2018 09:01

I did at 8, but not 7.

By lock the door, do you mean so it just can't be opened from the outside, or deadlock it? It should be easy for a child to exit the house in an emergency. Can the child tell the time and so know when you should be home? Will you have phone contact if delayed? Would the child be confident in asking for help from a neighbour?

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