To leave almost 8 year old in house alone while I go to the shop?

[Weebitawks]

So I want to pop to the shop (less than 5 minute walk) to get some nice things in for us for breakfast. DS7 (almost 8) understandably doesn’t want to get dressed and come. Would I be unreasonable to just take toddler DS?

DS is sensible and would I imagine just sit in front of the telly. I don’t think he’d get up to anything and I’d lock the door. I’ve just never done it before so I don’t know?

Sorry for boring post.

I wouldn’t do it

Absolutely totes it’s not more dangerous now. I went to a talk on this and the speaker showed a map of how far the average 9 year old was able to go alone in 1910, 1930, etc. Every ten years the area shrank now basically the back garden. I think much is being lost as a result.

The risk of anything happening to a sensible 9 year old watching bake off in a house she can get out of in a nice neighbourhood with present neighbors in the 40 mins I’m not there is neglible.

I am amazed how many people would leave an 8 or even younger child alone.
Mine is very sensible but I just wouldn’t take that risk even though it’s relatively small, it’s too much responsibility on a young child.

All 8 year olds still make silly decisions and why take a risk for the sake of getting your child to put their clothes on and come with you? Just get them to put a onesie on.

I won’t be leaving my child alone until about 10/11 and only if they are definitely ready.

Assuming the child doesn't have special needs, at 7yo they should be capable of staying put for 20 minutes, without destroying the house or breaking their necks. Especially given the unlimited possibilities of entertainment of an iPad.
and what is this "not in the UK" crap? are the UK children dumber than the rest of the world or the UK is some sort of warzone?

My parents sent me to the local shop at that age.

I don't see an issue. I used to walk to the shops from 7/8, go play in the park down the road by myself etc.

Kids need to learn to be independent.

@toomanyeastereggsurghh i feel sorry for your kids

it’s too much responsibility on a young child

What, being left alone for half an hour tops? Are some people's children under their eyes constantly, never a second for themselves? If so, how do you build up independence gradually? Like cabbages I was sent off to shops, and the mile down to school, at that age.

@toomanyeastereggsurghh

I agree with you. 8 is far too young. I don't believe they have the skills to always assess situations and make sensible decisions.

My 7 yr Old won’t even go to the toilet/upstairs by herself! She wouldn’t let me leave her! I wouldn’t anyway.

I think you need to work on this...

Lifeguards cant help your child feel safe.
In the changing rooms.

All mothers taking 8 year old sons swimming by themselves have to send them into the men’s changing rooms to get changed alone. (Provided there are no family changing rooms)

I don't believe they have the skills to always assess situations and make sensible decisions

If mum doesn’t come home (due to exceptionally unlikely accident) phone grandma.
If the house inexplicably bursts into flames, unlock the door and leave.

Don’t make cups of tea, don’t try to cook anything.

What situations are you imagining? These kids have to learn independence at some point. Looking after yourself for 15 minutes seems like a sensible first step.

I’ve never understood why it is thought less dangerous for children to play in the street, walk to shops, walk to school which involves coming into close contact with cars, and yet it is though dangerous for the same child to sit at home for 5 minutes watching tv whilst their parents nip out to the shops.

All children should be taught what to do in emergencies from a young age- they might need to call 999 if you fall down the stairs for example. So when it comes to leaving them for short periods it should only be a case of reminding them of what to do.

Every ten years the area shrank now basically the back garden. I think much is being lost as a result.

Agreed. I employ people who are older teenagers and early 20s and it's amazing how scared they are of stepping off the tracks. Despite being able to drive most of them are petrified when a major road closes as they "don't know the back roads" and won't even drive an hour away to the bigger towns for their Christmas shopping People are so ridiculously insular now and I think bringing them up locked in their houses hasn't helped with this.

Of course it’s fine unless the child has SEN, your neighbour is a psychopath watching for you to go out or you have an unguarded open fire.
At seven ours went to the shops about five minutes walk away.
At four I travelled to school eight miles away (including a two mile walk) with my seven year old sister in charge.
At seven ours could cook basic meals such as pasta or beans on toast and could clear up competently.
Society needs to stop infantilising children. There was a post from a primary teacher a few days ago about incompetence in children and their inability to do even basic tasks like dressing themselves, using a lavatory or using scissors by the time they started school.

AIBU Question for everyone- I'm a private tutor and in the middle of an hour's lesson I had to leave two 7 year old boys in my studio in my garden while I had to come into my house to deal with my DH having issues with my 3 month old. I ended up leaving the boys to do their work alone (15 minutes in the end) but their mother was furious when I told her. Was IBU?

Depends how big your garden is 😂

If I was that mother I’d be annoyed because you hadn’t been tutoring my children for 15 minutes which I’d paid for.

I didn't charge for it. Studio is about 20ft from the house

There was some report/research recently that said kids aren’t fully safe to cross a road on their own until they are 14!!
www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.express.co.uk/news/uk/793862/crossing-the-road-age-children-scientists/amp

I think there’s a difference between a parent knowingly leaving their child unsupervised for 15 minutes and someone who has been charged with their care (for an hour) to decide to leave them unsupervised for 15 minutes. Perhaps the mother knows her children aren’t mature enough for that to happen yet. Also, family schedules are tight. If I have booked an hours study then I’d expect that to happen. I’m not saying I’d have been furious, but I can see why this parent was.

Brie, I know a fair few adults who can’t safely cross a road either! It really is a miracle they’re still alive.

@AutumnEve

I would be happy to leave my 8 year old for 15 mins whilst I popped to the shop. I know my 8 year old and I am his mother.

You are not these children’s mother and you do not know them.

So whilst I think “furious” was perhaps a little OTT (but then as i say I would leave my 8 year old so perhaps why I think OTT), I certainly see her point of view

I would and did do this if the child was ok with it. To me that's a key point; dd was much happier being left alone than her more gregarious younger brother.

To the poster saying lifeguard can't help an 8yo in the changing room... in our pool they have to change in correct sex changing room at 8yo anyway, so if it's your son you can't stay with him.

I can't believe the poster who is only just leaving her 12yo! Have you been dropping them at school fir the last two years?

We need to stop being silly "what if something happened?" yes, it could, but then something could happen to a 16yo too. We need to give children the skills to deal with the unexpected. ds1 us 19 and his bus pass was refused yesterday, so he took himself to the bus company's office to sort it out. I'm glad I was able to foster that kind of problem solving in him tbh. I like to think it has something to do with gradual independence and self reliance.

I wouldnt and i have a 8.5yr old. Knowing her theres a good chance she'd do something crazy like go outside or try to cook