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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave almost 8 year old in house alone while I go to the shop?

137 replies

Weebitawks · 27/12/2018 08:02

So I want to pop to the shop (less than 5 minute walk) to get some nice things in for us for breakfast. DS7 (almost 8) understandably doesn’t want to get dressed and come. Would I be unreasonable to just take toddler DS?

DS is sensible and would I imagine just sit in front of the telly. I don’t think he’d get up to anything and I’d lock the door. I’ve just never done it before so I don’t know?

Sorry for boring post.

OP posts:
InsomniacAnonymous · 27/12/2018 09:02

Notacluethisxmas "I leave my almost year old"

Is that a typo?

Notacluethisxmas · 27/12/2018 09:05

Yes. He is nearly 8. Totally missed his age out. Therefore missing the point of my own post. Blush Xmas Grin

QueenNovo · 27/12/2018 09:08

I've done it from when my daughter was 7, you can see the shop from my front door and she's sensible and knows not to answer the front door and that the key for the back door is easily reached if she needed out.

Magentaorwagenta · 27/12/2018 09:09

I wouldn't

Thistle86 · 27/12/2018 09:09

As long as you can be there and back again in 5-10mins I would say it’s fine

Dimsumlosesum · 27/12/2018 09:11

Depends on the kid. I could leave my oldest, but not the youngest two (if they were older).

ThereWillBeAdequateFood · 27/12/2018 09:13

^You'd lock the door?
So that no one could get in?
Or would that mean your DS couldn't get out of there was a fire etc^

So that no one can get in. My 5 year old knows how to find the key to unlock the door (if there was an emergency) I’m pretty sure most 8 year olds would be fine.

3out · 27/12/2018 09:16

At that age (8) they can walk to school alone, go to the swimming pool without an adult etc. I don’t think being left alone in their home for 15 minutes is a bigger risk.

However, I wouldn’t let my 7 year old do any of those things because she hasn’t got a very good awareness of risk/possible dangers because of ASD.

It just depends on the child.

KitchenDancefloor · 27/12/2018 09:43

If you've given your child a choice and they want to stay, then that's fine at 8. I leave my youngest for 5-10 mins at age 8 and he barely notices. My secondary age DD hates being left (though it's sometimes necessary). It all depends on the child.

It's probably all irrelevant though now.

I hope you've had a nice breakfast 🍳

Knittink · 27/12/2018 09:48

I wouldn't, partly because I can't see any reason at all not to take him with you.

Rudgie47 · 27/12/2018 09:51

At 6 years old, I used to walk home from primary school make my own cooked tea and entertain myself until my parents got in from work at 9 and 10 p.m.
At 7 he should be o.k for a few minutes.

formerbabe · 27/12/2018 10:04

At that age (8) they can walk to school alone

At 6 years old, I used to walk home from primary school

These are actually not at all common in the UK anymore. My dcs school will only allow children to walk home from year 5 and 6. Any younger children must be collected by an adult.

formerbabe · 27/12/2018 10:05

At 6 years old, I used to walk home from primary school make my own cooked tea and entertain myself until my parents got in from work at 9 and 10 p.m

This is actually quite shocking. 6 is so young. If this was happening nowadays in the UK, I'm pretty sure social services would be involved.

lessthanBeau · 27/12/2018 10:29

Depends on the child, my dd can go to the same shop I would be going to and has since age 8, so I am happy to leave her, we did our big asda shop in the next town and left dd now 10 for a couple of hours, we did text her multiple times tho and she knows what to do in an emergency. it was her choice to stay home ,other kids might not be confident enough, for example, my friends dd same age would absolutely not be ok with it.

masterandmargarita · 27/12/2018 10:32

I would

AlwaysSomethingThere · 27/12/2018 10:38

Years ago my mate was in this situation and I said I'm sure kids would've been fine. She said she wasn't worried about the kids but what if on her way to the shop something happened to her (God forbid she got ran over or something) and she couldn't get back to the house...

keenkaren · 27/12/2018 11:01

Lol at that age I was sending my kid to the shop rather than having to go myself Grin

HolesinTheSoles · 27/12/2018 11:03

I would want to know that he would know how to react if you didn't come home in a reasonable time, that he could get out if there was a fire, he'd know not to answer the door etc. If that was the case I'd go.

HootieandtheBlowjob · 27/12/2018 11:13

I leave my 8 year old once a week whilst I take DH to work. 15 min round trip. I put the TV on for DS and he watches it til I get back. He doesn't move. He can open the front door and has mine and DH number if he needs it.

Tomatoesand · 27/12/2018 11:26

I would and I did at that age. But I had my phone with me, the kids knew my number and their dad’s in case of emergency.

Foodylicious · 27/12/2018 11:27

For a quick trip to the local shop and child is refusing to get dressed, I would stick them in wellies and a coat I think?

Otherwise these things need planning I think.

Lots of fire/burns/scald accidents can happen in the home when a child is trying to imitate adult behaviour and/or prepare something for the adult as a treat/surprise

NewName54321 · 27/12/2018 11:37

Have a chat with him. How does he feel about being left on his own next time? Then ask him what he would do if... happened, e.g.,
the smoke alarm sounded
the electricity went off
the phone rang
Someone knocked at the door
he tripped over or felt sick
you took longer than 15 minutes to return
he rang you and you didn’t answer

He may have some good strategies, or he might decide to call 999 or go into super-hero/ Home Alone film mode to "save" the situation.

driggle · 27/12/2018 11:52

I wouldn't. My DS is almost 8 and extremely sensible. I know he'd still be in the same spot on his Kindle when I come back but I still wouldn't do it.

RolandDeschainsGilly · 27/12/2018 11:53

I leave my 7 year old whilst I nip to the corner shop but it’s only 2 doors down Grin

zeebeedee · 27/12/2018 11:57

I think my 8 yr old DS3 is old enough to be left, just while I pop to the post box or something, but he won't stay home alone! And will demand to come with me .....