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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for general reassurance? Think I massively embarrassed myself re meeting bfs family for the first time

112 replies

Magentaorwagenta · 27/12/2018 07:54

For context. Never met them before. Fairly new relationship. About 5 months.

Last night bf supposed to come over but parents having people over. His sister drove him and suggested he invite me and she drive us back. if I'm honest I felt like if I'd have had more wanting id have said no I'm not ready, the house is a mess I'm knackered, but was aware his sister would have heard me make excuses and I was worried it would have been rude.

I had run out of anything to bring except a big bottle of prosecco ( one of those double ones from Lidl) expecting everyone to drink it. Except I was the only one and I ended up rat arsed!! I was quite nervous and basically didn't say much and was clearly quite sozzled. Not lary, not inappropriate, quietly quite drunk. Boyfriend seemed obviously embarrassed and took me to bed.

I'm mortified. Rethinking whole relationship and my own relationship with prosecco. I shouldn't have gone and shouldnt have drunk nearly as much as I did and I'm mortified I was disrespectful and spoilt their evening. Thinking about breaking up with new boyfriend. Talk me down or tell me straight. How bad is it??

OP posts:
Flowerpot2005 · 27/12/2018 08:00

How did you ruin their evening, what did you do or say?

If you're rethinking the relationship because you got drunk, the relationship is either not great or you're running away from the problem.

Personally, I'd send a nice bouquet to apologise for having too much & see what response you get.

Thespace · 27/12/2018 08:02

Where did he take you to bed?

Original poster
Magentaorwagenta · 27/12/2018 08:03

I think I probably need more communication in a relationship and if we'd have talked it through id have said 'on balance, not tonight'. I guess I was on the spot and said 'sure!' too quickly.

Flowers sound like a good idea. Should I fess and literally say 'sorry I was sozzled'?

OP posts:
clumsyduck · 27/12/2018 08:03

Unless you actually said or did anything then I wouldn't apologise to be honest for what? Nervously drinking to much prosecco .
At Christmas .
Meh
Don't worry Flowers

Flowerpot2005 · 27/12/2018 08:05

Yes I'd explain, I'm sure they won't think anything of it & be pleased by the gesture. You could suggest meeting for a meal or invite them to you so you can meet properly.

Ringdonna · 27/12/2018 08:06

Yabu to get sozzled but I would take into account you were meeting his family for the first time and were nervouse.

Original poster
Magentaorwagenta · 27/12/2018 08:07

Aww thanks @clumsyduck.

Just quietly v drunk in a corner.

Bf not introduced a gf to family as not has one for years. I know he's been nervous about people meeting me, for context I'm a bit older with kids and he lives with his parents. I'm worried he's embarrassed of me!

OP posts:
Loveweekends10 · 27/12/2018 08:07

Its Xmas. Your allowed 😁

TheVeryHungryDieter · 27/12/2018 08:07

It sounds like you've got The Fear.

Try not to worry about it, you were probably fine and you'll get another chance to get it right in a short while. Flowers next time. You'll be grand. Chin up, drink plenty of water and have a decent breakfast when you can manage it today.

Ringdonna · 27/12/2018 08:07

*nervous

DanglyBangly · 27/12/2018 08:08

But it doesn’t sound like you did or said anything terrible. You were just quiet - did they even notice how drunk you were?

Ask your boyfriend if he thinks you have anything to be embarrassed about. He knows his family best.

clumsyduck · 27/12/2018 08:08

Aww magenta well I hope he's not!

Try not to worry think you've just got that anxiousy hungover feeling doesn't sound like you've done anything wrong

MyOtherProfile · 27/12/2018 08:09

Tbis is all quite odd. It wasnt bad that he asked you spontaneously although texting you ahead would have been better. It could have been a nice unpressured way to meet his family when the focus wasn't on you. The issue really was you drinking the whole lot of prosecco. Do you usually drink that much in one evening? Are you with him this morning?

Noteverythingisabingthing · 27/12/2018 08:09

Meh, you only got drunk! It is Christmas! Don't worry about it.

Original poster
Magentaorwagenta · 27/12/2018 08:11

Thank you all you lovely people!! Yes chin going up. I do have the fear I think. There were some strong characters there - ie people who say it how it is and were clearly like 'well she's pissed' and it was witty but one said 'nothing says meet the parents like a litre of prosecco'

cringe cringe cringe

OP posts:
Original poster
Magentaorwagenta · 27/12/2018 08:12

I don't usually drink that much, no, it was more circumstantial tbh like the bottle was right by me and not circulating and I just kept going!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Magentaorwagenta · 27/12/2018 08:14

I think flowers and inviting them over for dinner is a nice idea though , I'll test the waters with the bf

OP posts:
Ullupullu · 27/12/2018 08:14

Cringy but maybe a funny tale to recollect in years to come! Talk to your bf about it. Is he embarrassed? Please don't send a card or flowers to apologize, that just makes it even bigger. Move on.

Original poster
Magentaorwagenta · 27/12/2018 08:14

No he's at work I've got the day off

OP posts:
Loopytiles · 27/12/2018 08:15

He was U to make plans to come to yours then bail out because he was invited to his parents’ thing - that was rude. It was also inconsiderate to phone you about it while his sister was there, a text or private call would have been much better.

Yes, where did he “take you to bed”? If at his parents and you had been meant to go home that’s embarrassing.

It was unwise to get drunk, but flowers/apology would be OTT. As would ending the relationship just over this.

Original poster
Magentaorwagenta · 27/12/2018 08:16

I think the bf was highly embarrassed tbh

OP posts:
MawkishTwaddle · 27/12/2018 08:16

They sound like unpleasant people, tbh.

I’d be cringing at myself more for having taken the piss out of a stranger than having got quietly pissed in a corner. Balls to ‘em.

Original poster
Magentaorwagenta · 27/12/2018 08:18

I was invited to stay so slept in his room .... In which I told him I loved him quite a few times

Dying.

OP posts:
Flowerpot2005 · 27/12/2018 08:18

Whilst BF didn't force the prosecco down you, I'd not let him get away with taking any moral high ground. He did catch you by surprise & needs to appreciate how nervous you were etc.

KateAdiesEarrings · 27/12/2018 08:19

You need to ask your bf how bad it was. There's no point apologising if his parents won't have noticed.
I think you're wrong to blame it on the sudden invite. That wasn't the problem. Drinking too much was the problem.