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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for general reassurance? Think I massively embarrassed myself re meeting bfs family for the first time

112 replies

Magentaorwagenta · 27/12/2018 07:54

For context. Never met them before. Fairly new relationship. About 5 months.

Last night bf supposed to come over but parents having people over. His sister drove him and suggested he invite me and she drive us back. if I'm honest I felt like if I'd have had more wanting id have said no I'm not ready, the house is a mess I'm knackered, but was aware his sister would have heard me make excuses and I was worried it would have been rude.

I had run out of anything to bring except a big bottle of prosecco ( one of those double ones from Lidl) expecting everyone to drink it. Except I was the only one and I ended up rat arsed!! I was quite nervous and basically didn't say much and was clearly quite sozzled. Not lary, not inappropriate, quietly quite drunk. Boyfriend seemed obviously embarrassed and took me to bed.

I'm mortified. Rethinking whole relationship and my own relationship with prosecco. I shouldn't have gone and shouldnt have drunk nearly as much as I did and I'm mortified I was disrespectful and spoilt their evening. Thinking about breaking up with new boyfriend. Talk me down or tell me straight. How bad is it??

OP posts:
Original poster
Magentaorwagenta · 27/12/2018 11:40

Broke your sisters leg!! How on earth??

OP posts:
LottieLou90 · 27/12/2018 12:09

Totally ok. Especially as it’s Christmas.

I remember my first time meeting my FIL. We stayed over at his parents on a Friday so we wake up and have a full day on the Saturday.

Anyway, PILs were out for a meal with friends on the Friday evening so we didn’t see them. I got up on the Saturday morning and headed to the smaller loo. Locked the door, and proceeded to have a wee.

Cue FIL opening the door completely starkers and as I was sitting down I was penis - eye height. He shouted ‘OH NO!’ Then quickly shut the door.

I was absolutely mortified. I quickly cleaned up, make up etc then went downstairs. My DH (bf at the time) asked if I was ok as I’d looked like I’d seen a ghost Confused

It took me 2 years to tell him what happened in that loo and he keeps laughing about it now. I keep cringing still when I think about it. We have been together almost 6 years.

I have a fantastic relationship with my FIL but we have NEVER spoken about ‘that day’

It will be ok Smile

Original poster
Magentaorwagenta · 27/12/2018 12:17

Eye to cock with your FIL on first meeting!!! Sheer genius!!!

OP posts:
RCohle · 27/12/2018 12:18

To be completely honest if one of my DC's introduced me to their new partner for the first time and he/she sat in the corner and got so hammered that they couldn't speak and had to be helped to bed I would be a bit Hmm

Obviously there's nothing you can do about it now and there's no point dwelling on it. I'm just adding my perspective as so many posters here seem to be saying your behaviour is absolutely fine, whereas I think your partner would be within his rights to be a bit hacked off with you.

LottieLou90 · 27/12/2018 12:24

@Magenta I’ve never been so horrified to see a cock!!!

Original poster
Magentaorwagenta · 27/12/2018 12:25

Rcohle it's not great and I appreciate that he is probably being polite tbh and I'm sure his parents were quite wow ... I am on antibiotics and didn't think about watching what I drank as a result.... I don't think it's ok behaviour, but have appreciated posters being gentle with me

OP posts:
Original poster
Magentaorwagenta · 27/12/2018 12:27

lottie the stuff of nightmares!!Grin

OP posts:
Expatworkingmum · 27/12/2018 12:28

I hope it’s a long, happy relationship for you and one day it’s a funny story you all talk about over Christmas. Xmas Smile

harrypotterfan1604 · 27/12/2018 12:30

The first time I met my partners parents we had gone out on our works Xmas do and I’d stayed over at their house because it was too far to get a taxi home. They were fine with this but said I had to sleep in his sisters room she was sleeping out, I was 18 he was 20. I got so drunk at the party and ended up head in the loo all night being sick. In the morning his mum asked who was being sick with a look of disgust on her face and my partner said it was him! I knew he was a keeper right then 😂 10 years later we all have a right old giggle about it!
I was mortified though and convinced his mum didn’t like me because of it for ages but it’s really not the end of the world.
Unless you were rude or inappropriate I doubt an apology is needed. Speak to your bf, considering ending the relationship seems like madness to me

Original poster
Magentaorwagenta · 27/12/2018 12:32

Thanks expatXmas Smile

Harrypotter what a star and that too is stellar stuff!

OP posts:
Original poster
Magentaorwagenta · 27/12/2018 12:34

No I'm not going to end it I just had a wobble of insecurity ... He might be totally out off me and the end is approaching but I'll deal with that bridge if I get there!

OP posts:
Coffeethrowtrampbitch · 27/12/2018 12:36

My mum tried to kill my dh the first time she met him!

I met him at uni and took him home to introduce him, I had warned my mum he had a severe tomato allergy so not to make anything with tomato. She served seasoned lamb steaks, they tasted funny so I asked her to check the ingredients and they contained tomato powder. But it's powder, that's alright isn't it? she said. Err, no, if you dry something to powder it is still the same substance.

Dh and my mum haven't really got along since, but since that was attempted murder and you just got pissed I'm sure you will be fine!

PerverseConverse · 27/12/2018 12:36

Antibiotics have got nothing to do with it. Unless you're on metronidazole and then you'd have been as sick as a dog but as you've not mentioned vomiting I guess you're not on those ones.

Original poster
Magentaorwagenta · 27/12/2018 12:40

Good to know perverse Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
Magentaorwagenta · 27/12/2018 12:41

Coffee at least no attempted murder occurred, thank God he survived!

OP posts:
bbcessex · 27/12/2018 12:47

Being quietly sloshed in the corner on Boxing Day is a non- event.. adds a bit of festive spirit to the mix!

Now if you’d had your knickers on your head, leading a solo round of Baby Shark.... perhaps flowers needed!!

In this case - say no more about it and take it on your stride 🌲🍾🌲

wombatsears · 27/12/2018 13:02

... I am on antibiotics and didn't think about watching what I drank

What’s this got to do with it?

Original poster
Magentaorwagenta · 27/12/2018 13:10

Yes the antibiotics are a red herring I agree [santa]
Will sweep into my stride and chalk it up to experience Halo

OP posts:
SkaTastic · 27/12/2018 13:55

One of the first times I met my (would turn out to be) Mother and Father in law I had got so so pissed the night before that I went to bed in boyfriends bed for the whole day, only to get up to puke a dozen times. Was asked if I would like a Chinese, puked. Was asked if I would like to go to the pub with them? Puked.

It's beer fear you will get over it!!

EmeraldShamrock · 27/12/2018 14:00

I wouldn't stress to.much. When I meet DPs family, I over done it on the wine, let a massive fart when relaxing with the family, he put me to bed. I swore I would never go back Xmas Blush
12 years later and I had total forgot it, there was no lasting damage.

LoveManyTrustfew · 27/12/2018 14:12

We have a yardstick for drunkenness in this house.

No matter how drunk I get, I can still say to DH, I can't have been that bad, I didn't throw up on anyone's rose bushes.

Yes indeedy, first Christmas we were married, and his first Christmas with my parents, he elevated himself from the bed settee, went out the front and fertilised the roses.

GrinGrin

He visibly paled when offered altar wine at Mass the next day.

Noteverythingisabingthing · 27/12/2018 16:54

I did a similar thing with an ex boyfriend. He lived at home, I had met his parents before but only in passing. We went out on the town and I got absolutely hammered. I stayed over in his room and spent the night throwing up in the bathroom. The next day he went off to work for the week, I went home without seeing his parents. He rang me later on that day and said his parents didn't appreciate me being sick in their home and his mum was very cross. I was 28 at the time, own house and child. Was not going to be scolded and treated like a child. Even though I was at fault, I looked at him in a new light for not defending me, he had drunk more than me! We split up soon afterwards(and I never had to see the parents again-result).
My parents would have laughed it off in a reverse situation!

MirriVan · 27/12/2018 17:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

notapizzaeater · 27/12/2018 17:20

First time my dad met my Nan my grandad and uncle took him to the pub, he spent all night throwing up. They where married 38years ....

Confusedbeetle · 27/12/2018 17:32

Many of us have got embarrassingly smashed. Nervousness doesn't help , neither does prosecco, the bubbles make you drunk quickly. Despite what another poster has put, your anxiety and guilt are just as much a part of your physical hangover as the event itself. Most people who have accidentally got drunk will forgive you as they as only too pleased it wasn't them. Not that many people can be pious about it. You didn't do anything outrageous. Put it down to experience. Have a glass of milk before you go out next time and make the first drink last for one hour, with food. Or take a non-alcoholic drink first. Believe me, I speak from experience. Necking the first glass it the dangerous move and what you do when you are nervous. The way I speak you would think it had only ever happened once? Once you feel better you will just avoid prosecco for a bit, and maybe his family, who were mean

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