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Original poster

To ask for general reassurance? Think I massively embarrassed myself re meeting bfs family for the first time

112 replies

Magentaorwagenta · 27/12/2018 07:54

For context. Never met them before. Fairly new relationship. About 5 months.

Last night bf supposed to come over but parents having people over. His sister drove him and suggested he invite me and she drive us back. if I'm honest I felt like if I'd have had more wanting id have said no I'm not ready, the house is a mess I'm knackered, but was aware his sister would have heard me make excuses and I was worried it would have been rude.

I had run out of anything to bring except a big bottle of prosecco ( one of those double ones from Lidl) expecting everyone to drink it. Except I was the only one and I ended up rat arsed!! I was quite nervous and basically didn't say much and was clearly quite sozzled. Not lary, not inappropriate, quietly quite drunk. Boyfriend seemed obviously embarrassed and took me to bed.

I'm mortified. Rethinking whole relationship and my own relationship with prosecco. I shouldn't have gone and shouldnt have drunk nearly as much as I did and I'm mortified I was disrespectful and spoilt their evening. Thinking about breaking up with new boyfriend. Talk me down or tell me straight. How bad is it??

OP posts:
Xenia · 27/12/2018 10:05

Parents are usually quite understanding. I think they will be fine about it and understand you would be nervous and drink might help. Don't worry. I suppose they might not want their son who lives at home to marry someone with children by another man but that's a separate issue; and they probably above all want him to be happy.

I recommend not drinking. I stopped - never really liked it much actually and it's fine without it.

nakedscientist · 27/12/2018 10:16

Xenia: suppose they might not want their son who lives at home to marry someone with children by another man

Where did you get this from? OP has not mentioned DC, has she?

Also His sister drove him and suggested he invite me and she drive us back
Doesn't sound to me like BF lives at home to me, perhaps I'm wrong.

Original poster
Magentaorwagenta · 27/12/2018 10:19

Yes I mentioned up thread I have children, he lives at home
Totally fair if they are not delighted with my circumstances, but I'm a generally nice and respectful person so even if it doesn't last forever id be pleased my son and was spending time with someone he got on with, I guess

OP posts:
JustABetterPlayer · 27/12/2018 10:21

Nope to me that would be a green light that you are normal! If you’d sat quiet as a mouse all evening and spoken to nobody that would be worse Grin

Original poster
Magentaorwagenta · 27/12/2018 10:22

I'm definitely not touching prosecco for a while!!

OP posts:
nakedscientist · 27/12/2018 10:23

Oh sorry xenia, OP I missed that!

I think you are over thinking it all due to a hangover though, just have a nice bath, a good breakfast and put it all into perspective. You have done nothing to stress about.

EatSleepRantRepeat · 27/12/2018 10:30

If you can afford it, how about sending a nice card or some flowers - not as an apology but as a 'lovely to meet you, thanks for having me' type present? Or taking over some chocs for mum next time? If you're worried about first impression, make a great second impression sooner rather than later so the first time doesn't linger...

purpleelk · 27/12/2018 10:35

Wait, you brought a 1.5 litre bottle of Prosecco, then sat in a corner and quietly drank almost entire bottle by yourself, and had trouble walking and slurred your speech?

I’m really sorry but I would be completely embarrassed by you. This was you at your “best.” I imagine if a man got stinking drunk first time he met his girlfriend’s parents, people would be writing about red flags and LTB

PerverseConverse · 27/12/2018 10:36

He lives with his parents?? How old is he?

HannahnotAgnes · 27/12/2018 10:38

That's what I thought too @PerverseConverse ! Op, it really doesn't sound like you did anything bad at all, try to go easy on yourself!

AlwaysSomethingThere · 27/12/2018 10:44

Prosecco ruins my life on a regular basis, it gets me absolutely wrecked. The bastard. It's not my fault, it pins me down and forces itself down my neck.

Obviously. Hic.

Original poster
Magentaorwagenta · 27/12/2018 10:45

Thanks Hannah!

OP posts:
UncommonName · 27/12/2018 10:46

I wouldn't consider breaking up with him unless he he makes a big deal of it.

The first time I met my bfs parents was after we'd been on a night out, he still lived at home and we went back to his, I was very drunk and sat mostly quiet around them, he poured me a glass of wine and off we went up to his room, the stairs were quite steep and I misjudged my step in my painfully high heels, promptly fell down the stairs and landed on my arse at the bottom, saved my wine though Grin
Luckily my boyfriend and his parents both found it hilarious, the next morning his dad joked around "it's nice to see you sober" etc.

Original poster
Magentaorwagenta · 27/12/2018 10:47

Same here alwaysGrin

OP posts:
ginpink · 27/12/2018 10:49

I definitely wouldn't send flowers!!! They probably didn't really notice and getting a bit drunk at xmas isn't a crime! If you send flowers you're making an issue of it and bringing attention to the fact you were rat arsed. Just meet up with them again and be sober and fabulous this time. If it really was terrible bf should raise it wit you.

Original poster
Magentaorwagenta · 27/12/2018 10:49

Loving the first time I met the parenta stories- really cheering me up!

OP posts:
PerverseConverse · 27/12/2018 10:51

Drunkenness aside. You're older with children, he lives with his parents and hasn't had a girlfriend for a few years- I'd be questioning why he lives with his parents, why he's not had a girlfriend for years and why he's chosen an older woman with kids because I'd be worried he's looking to you to fill mummy's shoes when he gets round to leaving home.

Coronapop · 27/12/2018 10:57

You sound as though you have hangover guilt. Personally I would wait and see what happens. If you were just quietly drunk I am not sure that apologising to BF's family is really needed, and it rather draws attention to a situation you would rather forget (and hope they will too). Go for a walk or clean the house or something to take your mind off it. Time will tell if BF forgives you or not.

BeekyChitch · 27/12/2018 11:08

I think you're ok! It would be worse if you were in there making comments and faking about! Laugh it off next time you see them explain you were nervous and it was Christmas they'll Understand!

Notatallobvious · 27/12/2018 11:10

My first Christmas visiting my in laws (had met them a few times but it was early days) myself and DH got merry and went upstairs. We got romantically carried away with drunken abandon and his dad walked in on us because of the racket from the headboard crashing against the wall. Never felt so mortified 😳 Getting quietly drunk in the corner is far more civilised so don’t fret too much.

Original poster
Magentaorwagenta · 27/12/2018 11:19

Love the headboard story!! Absolute magic!!

OP posts:
Notmorewashing · 27/12/2018 11:22

I wouldn’t be embarrassed if this was me... don’t see you have done anything wrong? What did he say this morning? Why was no one else drinking ?!?!!?!

Original poster
Magentaorwagenta · 27/12/2018 11:27

Yeah I have thought about those things perverse

He is very lovely to me. I have no wish for him to move in with me and am v wary of mothering him so try to make sure im not 'rescuing' if you see what I mean , and therefore enabling any dependence. I feel he needs to come to his own conclusions about moving out etc without my input tbh

OP posts:
Original poster
Magentaorwagenta · 27/12/2018 11:29

They were drinking just not as much! He has sent me a nice text saying not embarrassed at all of me

OP posts:
IsItCoffeeTimeYet · 27/12/2018 11:39

When my (now) DH met my family for the first time he managed to break my little sister's leg! Shock she would've been about 15 at the time.
I'm sure the longer you're with your BF the more it will be forgotten.