To say something to MAJOR CF that is 'SIL'

[Crookedcolours]

Not technically SIL as her and my DB aren't married but live together ltr etc

We generally have a good relationship, literally everything's fine other than this one thing but this one thing is majorly pissing me off!!

Every time we eat out (me and DC, her and bro, and my dad) which is quite often, she orders the most expensive thing and then leaves my dad to pay for it.

My dad always picks up the bill but I will always send him money for me and DC or offer at least or AT LEAST say thank you!! She and DB do nothing. No thanks

Oh sorry the other week after ordering ridiculous £20 main course she was saying oh I'll pay extra towards it (after not finishing it)

Her and DB got out the cash at the end and paid £20. Not joking. £20 contribution which just covered HER main course after starters, cocktails and desserts each

It's taking the piss. We know my DB is tight but why does she think it's ok to take a advantage of my DF like that because he has aspergers and doesn't like confrontation.

Tomorrow there's a family meal she's the only one to have ordered the 3 course festive menu again. I know she's going to leave my dad to pay. YES I do think my DB is being a CF as well.

WIBU to say something to her or DF?

Or if not directly I want to get the message across somehow because it's eating away at me and giving me the rage

Just tell your dad not to pay.
It might not bother him paying - or pick somewhere cheaper.

Next time you eat out, instead of quietly giving your dad money just say "let's all chip in because it's not fair dad always picks up the tab" .

I can't exactly tell my dad what to do though? And these bills are often very big, like £90 or more, I can't afford to cover that myself and we never split at the restaurant

Next time you eat out, instead of quietly giving your dad money just say "let's all chip in because it's not fair dad always picks up the tab" .
Absolutely this ^^

So normally I transfer him the money after via app which I use for everything

It’s up to your dad really.

Agree with pp about saying you'll all pay for your own because it's not fair on your dad, I would even go as far to say everyone puts in a bit extra to cover your dads meal too as he always pays!

So you want your dad to continue paying but just not for sil expensive meal? Split the bill or go cheaper.
I think I would just say to your dad that you want to split the bill before you go.

This is a perfect time for you all to cover the bill (excluding your DF) as a thank you for all the previous meals out. Then enjoy watching their arses falling out when they need to spend some money for a change. Ensure your DF doesn’t take his wallet.

I can't exactly tell my dad what to do though? And these bills are often very big, like £90 or more, I can't afford to cover that myself and we never split at the restaurant

It sounds like youre not confrontational either OP but this isnt fair on your dad. Time to step up and suggest that everyone pays their own bit.

So how does that work? Doing extra card transactions?

and no baubles as I said I always pay/offer to pay and say thank you if he says not to worry, they don't even say thank you that's what really pisses me off

When the waiter/ess comes over just say to her, this is going to be three separate bills. Me and dc, my dad, and bro and sis in law. Then when they look just say well it's only fair, dads always paying for us all. Or something along them lines. My dfil always tries to pay for us, I refuse and either go up to order with him or ask the staff for seperate bills.. bil and sil just look away and kind of expect him to pay which really bothers me x

Your dad’s a grown man and this is his issue to resolve (if indeed he even wants to). Not yours. Mind your own.

I've said something! I just sent a message saying just a reminder we're all paying for ourselves tomorrow (extended family meal) and also said it's not fair my dad keeps paying

You just split the bill and ask to pay separately and say “I’ll pay £20.86” to the waiter for example. Super easy

When the waiter comes to take your order ask for the orders to be taken separately because you will be paying separately and you would like three separate bills to save any confusion
(we’ve done this many times)

You can pre warn them that everyone will be paying for themselves but I personally wouldn’t bother.

Take cash, text db before you leave the house reminding him to take his /her share.
Make it obvious you are paying your way.

But cherries yes, it is, but one I'm fairly sure it's his aspergers that makes that difficult and two it's not fair! I'm getting resentful that some people get free meals all the time

Not only that but the most expensive ones! It would piss anyone off when that happens again and again

This is for your dad to sort if he wants it sorted.

People like this annoy me, I bet she wouldn't eat as much if she was paying herself! X

Ok thanks for suggestions will do the split bill thing next time.

I forgot to mention the other reason I get annoyed, they both work full time, no kids, and keep bragging about how they'll have enough savings for a mortgage in 2 years!

Honestly I don't believe anyone that says this wouldn't get to them

This has been happening about 3 years now