To feel a bit sad or confused? Or both?!

[changingusernamefornow]

NC for this
OK so I was born abroad and I was not going to my home country for Christmas. Big family, only me and brother have DCs.

Two of my siblings (sister and brother with new baby) are over there for Christmas.

My other siblings don't particularly like children (not Herods but not particularly interested, won't have them either) or have been around them much.
My sister just informed me that "she has no clothes to wear for our niece Christening" 😳
Say what?

AIBU to think they could have told us this was happening? 😳

I have a normal relationship with my brother. I thought maybe it was because we didn't do a big wedding (just us and witnesses) and SIL likes a Vendetta (which of course would still mean they were both "guilty" not just her) but my other sibling said that they had no clue either.

I asked my sister who is going and she said, well, he just sent me a text the other day to ask me to be the Godmother 😳 and that it is an "informal" event and no need to dress up, yet it is in our hometown big impressive Cathedral that I know takes a long time and strings to book.

My sister who is going doesn't have anything to wear and as much as he says"casual" we all know that won't be the case.

I can only think that
A) she didn't want my sister to dress up (she commented on the dress I wore to her wedding for months -a royal blue, modest neck line Karen Millen dress) and she buys something if we bought it, like dresses.
B) since we are no longer religious, my brother thinks we would judge, which makes me think I need to work on how I project my opinions as I am very respectful of religion, just don't follow anymore
C) it really is an informal event and he forgot to tell me?
I just exchanged messages the other day with him and talked about his plans so I feel confused and maybe a little sad...

I thought maybe it is because he has seen how happy DC is and that he thought we are good parents and that he would have asked me to be godmother?
So I asked my sister who wasn't told and she said she is sad as well.

Be honest!! 💙

I haven't the faintest idea what this is about and I've read it three times now.

Sorry, second language, is my writing that bad? 😔

I thought my brother would have told us/ invited us to her baby's Christening, since he invited my sister and she is to be godmother.

Although now I am just really sad my English is crap and will leave the site.

Thank you for the reply though.

His baby, not her baby.

Bah. 😔

Changing I thought it was perfectly clear, ignore that poster!

That seems really off to not be invited to a big family event like that, different if it was a small event but a bloody cathedral? It sounds like she’s/they’re playing games with your other sister too re dress code so maybe you’re better off out of the whole situation!

I think I understand what you're saying although it is slightly confused.

I would be very sad too in that situation. Why not message your brother directly and ask what's going on? What have your parents said about it?

Your English is GREAT OP.

Your family are nuts.

I'm not really sure what your question is? Is it about what you should wear to your niece's christening?

So your brother has organised a christening for his daughter but not yet invited you?

And even worse has asked your sister (who doesn't like children) to be godmother instead of you?

Your English is not crap.

I think you need to call your brother and ask what’s going on.

• So your brother has organised a christening for his daughter but not yet invited you?

And even worse has asked your sister (who doesn't like children) to be godmother instead of you?*
Yes! Thank you, this is what has happened
Sorry I didn't explain well

Yes you should of been invited

I think it was really rude not to of done

Could you ask him why?

What have your parents said about it?
My dad died when I was young and my mum is very fragile and probably didn't want to be in the middle?

I'm not really sure what your question is? Is it about what you should wear to your niece's christening? No, sorry, I have not been invited. My sister has but she brought no clothes as she was just invited and event is on Saturday

I think you need to call your brother and ask what’s going on. I am so bad at confrontation and the thought fills me with stress

I thought it was very clear too, ignore the PP - clearly their English is the issue and not yours.

I think OP didn't go to her home country for Christmas but her sister and brother did. While they were there, he brother announced they were christening his DD there.

Then stuff about how her siblings don't like kids, her sister doesn't have something to wear and she wasn't asked to be Godmother.

I think I am also very sad because my brother and I are close and my sisters not so much.

I had a rubbish year and almost lost my husband but I found time to put together a big box for the baby and send it even though we weren't earning for 6 months

Why didn't he tell me?

Are Christenings really not a big thing?

We didn't do a wedding but everyone knew we were getting married just us 😔

I would have been a good Godmother

Yes @slashlover thank you.
Oh God I can't believe people can't understand me 😔

Thank you @brizzledrizzle 😔

Do you think he didn’t ask you because you aren’t home for Christmas? You say you are no longer religious so maybe he thought you wouldn’t want to be godmother? You don’t appear to like sil much? Does she know?

Your English is absolutely fine!

I would be quite hurt at it not being mentioned to me. I can understand why you're upset.

Perhaps tour brother didn't want to put you under any pressure to go home for it?

Tell your brother that you are sad that you weren’t invited. It’s not confrontational.

Do you think he didn’t ask you because you aren’t home for Christmas? You say you are no longer religious so maybe he thought you wouldn’t want to be godmother? You don’t appear to like sil much? Does she know?

But my sister is not either and she is very vocal about it. No, I don't particularly like my SIL but I disguise it, my sister not so much

Perhaps tour brother didn't want to put you under any pressure to go home for it? this makes sense. But then why tell my sister about being a Godmother yesterday, instead of before she flew home and carried an outfit for the Cathedral?

@ILiveInSalemsLot Tell your brother that you are sad that you weren’t invited. It’s not confrontational. Everything is so dramatic back home that I can't even translate that to say it without drama.

I am always so scared of telling them things!

Would you have been able to go to your home country if he had told you DN was being christened there? Maybe he didn't want you to feel as if you had to spend the money to travel there if money is tight?

I understood you.

Where as I often have to piece together what very obviously English first language people have written. Which gets tiring. There's a lot of that on here.

I would feel slighted, to have not been asked. If you had been asked in advance, it would have been much easier to have organised travel.

My family can be a bit like this. There was one wedding eighteen months ago and it caused no end of trouble.

I don't know what else to say, I just wish there were no selfish people with idiotic vendettas out there.

I understand you. I'm sorry you must be very upset. I'm suprised they did not invite you. It is their loss, not yours.